I recently posted a rash and emotional message, canceling the long-planned, greatly-anticipated Flog Swarm. At the time, I was under the influence…
...of grapefruit juice. It's my Kryptonite.
I'm not kidding. The night before, I asked the bartender to surprise me with something new. He said "Try this…", and I drank it down. Yummy! Towards the end, my husband asked to taste it, and he recoiled. "It has grapefruit juice in it! You KNOW that it messes with your diabetes meds and your mood!"
It has been over ten years since I have had grapefruit of any kind. I can't drink Fresca (carbonated grapefruit juice), and we got rid of the grapefruit tree in our back yard, since the juice is pure poison for my body-chemistry, and causes wild mood-swings that don't start until the next day. It took me decades to figure-out what was causing the trouble, since it's a delayed reaction.
The problem is, I can't TELL that I'm having massive mood-swings until waaaay too late in the train-wreck. It's brain-chemistry, it affects all of my perceptions, and I can't sense it from inside.
Now, twelve hours after it started, I understand what happened, and I'm accepting coaching from my trusted friends to help me recover from my actions. I apologize for flying off the handle. If I could take it back, I would. I feel like hell. My mood is still pretty swampy.
So, the Flog Swarm is back on track, with one change:
Instead of freaking out that the turnout will be lower than usual, and not fill a huge venue, I'm just going to mellow-out, and accept what happens. If it's small, intimate and in a private home, then that's what happens. If there's a huge turnout, then I'm glad.
I'm still hoping for RSVP's (send them to SignMeUpForEvent @ gmail.com, and mention "Flog Swarm"), but I'm not counting on them being on-time, or in bulk quantities. Let's just play and be friends. It doesn't have to be world-changing.
This little High Drama episode actually helped enormously, as many people have gleefully told me.
It finally got everybody's attention, and got the energy moving. Six days later, we now have 45 folks confirmed and on the list, we have the venue all taken care of, and more and more folks are joining the team every day!