Upcoming Events

I'm taking it easy this week, spending a lot of time with family. I'm still in vacation-mode, so I will be meandering as I write:

I WILL be at the Eagle this Friday for Dress It Up (Gear Night).  I expect a big turnout.

Years ago, when I first started up the Dress It Up/Strip It Down event, I knew we needed to GEAR UP on an ongoing basis in San Diego. A few decades of being devastated by AIDS had left our community fractured, scattered and lacking in visibility. I knew that if we could increase the number of men in fetishgear, we would attract more and more as time went by.

Well, it worked, and really well. Men in gear are TRENDY. Every single leather crafter in town is CONTINUOUSLY busy making custom harnesses, belts, vests, chaps, pants and shirts like I haven't seen in twenty or so years. Steve at Moose Leather, Mark at Hard Labor Leather, Anthony at Leaher Love, and a bunch more, with backlogs stretching out for months. That is a clear sign of a thriving Tribal Culture.

Steve and Mark had to retire from the leather crafting biz for a long time, because nobody wanted to be the ONLY guy in gear at a bar.  Now that we're 100% back, these fine men are cranking away and doing those up-close, extremely personal custom-fittings. Can't get THAT over the Internet!

My new, custom chaps are in the final stages, after three fittings so far. I have freakishly thick, strong legs, and a butt to match, and Steve said that the leather to make one leg is enough to make a cape. Watch for the public debut of my chaps soon. I won International Mr. Cheeks 'n Chaps 1998 for a REASON, and it will be on full display, sometime soon. The only problem with wearing chaps in public is, I'm so tall that the cheeks are right up high for anybody to see. My butt does NOT point towards Hell, and it makes a handy shelf for men to store their beer-mugs upon while I'm standing at the bar. Some little twinkie-thing will spot me, and offer to spank my ass. My reply is always "You're welcome to TRY". That tends to end it. I can dish it out, but I can't take it.

Nowadays, you can attend monthly events like Dress It Up, Uniform Night and Underwear Night at San Diego's only Leather Bar that always, always include lots of ferociously masculine men in gear of all types. You never know when somebody's going to break out the flogger and start pleasing a continuous conga-line of men looking for a good time. It's the Real Thing.

Our cultural highlights are now the default, instead of rare and discouraging, as things were for too many years. We are BACK, baby!


For a long time, we were considered "outcasts" - Bad examples of the gay men's community, who were discouraged from dressing too alarmingly, for the sake of the children or something. It never made sense to me. Kink and fetish are just Extreme Intimacy, and we just don't have any shame about it any more. We see from the Internet that we are NOT isolated freaks.  We're really great guys, with strong passions!

In 2013 and beyond, our numbers are continuously rising, and the general community is seeing us as fine, powerful and cooperative men who are getting massively good things accomplished. This is a completely new paradigm-shift.

The HUGE fundraiser a few weeks back was a way for a LOT of people outside the Leather/Fetish Community to see that we were the ones having the most fun, with a relaxed camaraderie that they had never seen before in such a mass of geared-up men.  Our gear identified us as brothers.  Our omnipresence at that huge hall opened a lot of eyes, and gave everyone there the news that our culture has shifted into a new, happier phase. We are setting the tone, and it's a really good one.


I was astonished to find out that this last Saturday's Underwear Night was a smash hit, with a line outside, and 6 or 7 contestants!  Very high energy-level, too. I expected a low turnout due to the holidays. Must have been a LOT of out-of-town guests in the mood to get away from the family for the night. Too bad I was Christmas Caroling with my family near Magic Mountain. I get a little wild in a crowd of men in a leather bar.

Wednesday, January 2nd: Planning Committee for 2013

I've written about this before - If you care about a stronger, more-cohesive and joyful Tribe in San Diego, then this is the event that you won't want to miss. This is where we try to out-do each other with bigger, bolder ideas for what we can accomplish together, building upon our massive numbers, strong team and proven track-record.

No small dreams!

Let Them Eat Cake – Mr San Diego Leather 2012 – Aaron Duke’s Birthday Celebration

Saturday, January 19, 2013 from 4-7PM, 

at Babycakes, at 3766 Fifth Avenue in Hillcrest.

Please join Mr San Diego Leather 2012- Aaron Duke to celebrate his 33rd birthday.  This is a casual social event.  The bar is always open and food available for purchase.  We will celebrate Aaron’s birthday with cupcakes provided from Babycakes.  All are welcomed for an afternoon event.  Our brothers from LA will be in town and at this event.  They would love to meet you all and see why our community is so wonderful in San Diego.  They will also be joining us for LL Bear at Rich’s before presenting the Titleholder Boot Camp on Sunday.

Titleholder Boot Camp

January 20, 2012 from 11AM – 6PM at the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way.

Please bring $5 cash to cover the cost of lunch.

Have you been thinking about running for the title of Mr. San Diego Eagle or Mr. San Diego Leather in 2013?  Here is your opportunity to learn what you need to do to prepare for the contest, what happens at the contest, and what you can expect after you win the title.  The LA Band of Brothers in conjunction with Mr San Diego Leather  2012 – Aaron Duke and Mr San Diego Eagle 2012 – Eli Correa will put on a one day event here in San Diego to help guide you on your path to the competition stage.  

This event is put on in LA every year by the LA Band of Brothers, and we are fortunate that they are coming to share with us.  Even if you are not ready to take the plunge and run for a title, this is a great education opportunity for you to learn about the title system, understand what the judges are looking for, and what titleholders' responsibilities are to their community.

Let Them Eat Cake – Mr San Diego Leather 2012 – Aaron Duke’s Birthday Celebration

Let Them Eat Cake – Mr San Diego Leather 2012 – Aaron Duke’s Birthday Celebration

Saturday, January 19, 2013 from 4-7PM, 

at Babycakes, at 3766 Fifth Avenue in Hillcrest.

Please join Mr San Diego Leather 2012- Aaron Duke to celebrate his 33rd birthday.  This is a casual social event.  The bar is always open and food available for purchase.  We will celebrate Aaron’s birthday with cupcakes provided from Babycakes.  All are welcomed for an afternoon event.  Our brothers from LA will be in town and at this event.  They would love to meet you all and see why our community is so wonderful in San Diego.  They will also be joining us for LL Bear at Rich’s before presenting the Titleholder Boot Camp on Sunday.

Titleholder Boot Camp

Titleholder Boot Camp

January 20, 2012 from 11AM – 6PM at the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way.

Please bring $5 cash to cover the cost of lunch.

Have you been thinking about running for the title of Mr. San Diego Eagle or Mr. San Diego Leather in 2013?  Here is your opportunity to learn what you need to do to prepare for the contest, what happens at the contest, and what you can expect after you win the title.  The LA Band of Brothers in conjunction with Mr San Diego Leather  2012 – Aaron Duke and Mr San Diego Eagle 2012 – Eli Correa will put on a one day event here in San Diego to help guide you on your path to the competition stage.  

This event is put on in LA every year by the LA Band of Brothers, and we are fortunate that they are coming to share with us.  Even if you are not ready to take the plunge and run for a title, this is a great education opportunity for you to learn about the title system, understand what the judges are looking for, and what titleholders' responsibilities are to their community.
 

Review of STUD Night, December 2012

I had a WONDERFUL time last night!

Again, it was one of the very worst nights, schedule-wise, for any kind of event.  Everybody heading out of town for the holidays. Zillions of schedule-conflicts.

However, it all came together like clockwork:

- Rik Jammer (in the yellow jock and waders) was fully ready to open up, share from his experience, and amuse us all with fun stories from his career in the adult-film industry.  He was entertaining, witty, warm and he clearly knew what he was talking about. If you were there, you were ENTERTAINED.

- Our own Preston Steel (in the yellow shirt) had the crowd in the palm of his hand as he interviewed Rik. He only needed to use the slightest cocked-eyebrow stink-eye to get us all back to respectful attentiveness, the one time that he needed to. He had everybody's respect, and he lent that to our special guest. The evening flowed beautifully.

- Our brothers who showed up were my favorite part. I was there to photograph, but I took some time to look over the crowd. I know the vast majority of you pervs pretty well, and I know for a fact that you can be quite a bunch or raunchy rowdies when you cut loose. However, you went into a calm, attentive space when we had a true, deeply experienced kinkster onstage, with some great stories to tell. When it was time for applause, nobody held back. Even when a couple of really drunk guys had something loud to say, it was in SUPPORT of what was going on. Wonderful audience participation, as opposed to the Law of the Jungle.

You guys provided a generous, solidly Tribal gathering with a strong sense of community. For what it is worth, I am very proud of you for taking such good care of my dear friend Rik.  You made a difference. This is another high point in our history. It's easy to gather evidence that we are growing in all of the right ways, together as brothers. We are going from strength to strength, and 2013 is going to be incredible.

I spoke to Rik afterward, and he was very gratified.  He has done similar events in other cities, and they did not go nearly so well.  He told me of indifference, lack of cohesion, and rudeness when he wanted to share his stories onstage, in years past. That's not our style.

Once again, San Diego has shown what makes us so special, friendly and powerfully connected to each other. Men from other cities (such as Vince, the handsome man from Seattle in the leather jacket) have been hearing very good news about our town. He got to see the proof of our brotherhood last night!

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance, which contains news about ALL known upcoming events.

This is a quiet time of year, with not much going on, due to the holiday season.  Its nice to have a break from all of the powerful, majestic stuff for a week or so. I will be out of town for my family's 44th annual Christmas Caroling in the San Fernando Valley (where I grew up). Since 1968, I've transitioned from being a tenor (actually, more of a nine-and-a-halfer, but hey - Everybody exaggerates!) to a baritone. Every year, the family beg for my showstopper version of O Holy Night.  I can STILL hit the highest notes, baby!

It's time for us all to ponder, set some goals, and gather our ideas together for January 2nd:

Pushing the Envelope

6PM, Wed. Jan. 2. Everyone is invited to come and share your ideas for 2013 events, without judgment or indifference. The request has multiple parts, so be ready when we ask:

- What do you think should happen in the near (or far) future, to build even better Tribe and brotherhood?
- What are you willing to do, to make that dream come true?
- How can we all help you along the way?

 FMSD now has such a huge, unified crew of great guys, we can now easily and serenely set some new, surprising and breakthrough goals. Our community's greatest strength has been our willingness to be affectionate, supportive and cooperative, on a massive and ongoing scale. We don't have to settle for the Same Old Thing like we did in the old days, due to a lack of viable options. Collectively, we now have the power to make ANYTHING happen, so let's play with that. Let's bust loose and think really big!

Men's Discussion: Pictionary Field-Trip Tonight

7PM, Wed. Dec. 19. Number One Fifth Avenue, at 3845 5th Ave.

In a sudden, arbitrary shift, the men of the weekly Men's Discussions will be meeting for fun to play games on the patio at Number One Fifth Avenue (I worked there as a door-guard in 1980!).  It raises money for charity, I hear it's a hoot, and I plan to be there to cheer others on. It's playful, and a great bonding-experience. Our group's discussions have been going really, really deep and passionately heartfelt for a few weeks now, so it's time to switch-up: Let's get silly and fun!

This Friday the 21st: STUD Party

This is a re-post from last week - What else can I say?

Rik Jammer is coming to San Diego, to be our featured guest at the Eagle on Friday, December 21, starting at 10:30PM.

My personal note:  He is a fine man, a dear friend, a successful businessman, and the closest thing to the "Papa Tony of Palm Springs" that I know of. He started Desert Fetish Authority (DFA), which is FMSD's brother club in the desert area. That group is now taking off like a rocket, going in radically new directions with a young, energized team.

He is sexy as hell, funny and warm, and I predict that he will be one of the more popular men featured during the second year of STUD Night. The best thing about him is that he is deeply wise - He has hosted MAJOR, annual pig parties that attract men from all over the world, he has been in many porn flicks, he has lived four or five lifetimes compared to most people, and yet he is always a true mensch. No wonder he is so widely loved and respected. He's not just some plastic jack-off fantasy creature - He personifies history in the making, and he's just getting started!

Recent Article:

The First 900 Days/HARNESS Review. I know I tend to get excited, but I have never faked my feelings for even an instant...

Intriguing New Major Movie Coming Up

I'm hearing a lot about the new Gus Van Zant film. In November of 2011, a big, festive crowd of leathermen showed up for the FilmOut San Diego showing of the movie CRUISING, featuring Al Pacino. It was a BIG topic of discussion beforehand, and we had a very nice turnout. Everybody had a great time, and it provided an honest glimpse into what life was REALLY like in the hardcore leather scene in New York around 1979.

Now, director Gus Van Sant is going much, much farther, reconstructing the parts of the movie that we were never allowed to see. It's a fascinating premise, and the buzz is pretty strong. Check out the movie trailer and see what you think!

DRUMMER Magazine Covers, 1975-1999

As long as we are reclaiming our cultural heritage, I saw this recently. It is promising more than it delivers, though - only seven are functional, at least as of today:

Free Holiday Fun from DRUMMER MAGAZINE! SEE EVERY DRUMMER COVER (all 214 covers) from 1975-1999. Plus historic notes. Cheers, Jack Fritscher, founding San Francisco editor in chief.

The First 900 Days/HARNESS Review

I was screwing around with a date-calculating web-page, and was hoping to figure out how many weeks have passed since FetishMenSanDiego was created.  Instead, I found that it has been exactly 900 days between Jun 29, 2010 and Dec 15, 2012.  Divided by 7, that's also 128 weeks. I have never skipped a single week when generating the newsletter, and I am deeply proud of that.

It doesn't feel that long since we got the ball rolling, and at the same time, it feels much, much longer. Sort of like the 22.5 years that I've spent with my loving husband.  Life is like that.

So MUCH has changed, and it has all been very, very good. My personality type says that I am a much better Innovator than I am a Maintainer, but I'm not feeling burned-out, discouraged or codependent, like I used to get, when the tasks I took on became more than I wanted, needed or planned for.

The difference this time around is that FMSD is a constant source of joy, affirmation, true community, and an ever-growing source of new, solid friends that are going to last me for the rest of my life. I'm not feeling burdened or obligated, and I'm not suffering like a martyr. I find this to be remarkable.

HARNESS Review

A random sampling of our younger brothers.

Instead, I will use last night's HARNESS party as an example of why I'm walking four feet off of the ground every day:

There was low turnout, as everyone predicted, long beforehand - It was late in the holiday season, with calendar-conflicts like no other time of the year. It SHOULD have been a bummer.

Instead, the men who showed up were rock-solid in their affectionate brotherhood.  Guys walked in, and the hug-fiesta went on and on. Joyful smiles, mixing and mingling, with forming of close, intimate groupings that split and re-gathered throughout the evening. The ages ranged from the early 20's through the 60's, with no distinction between anyone at all - The blending was ideal.

It was just a bunch of nice, sexy and real men, in gear, with no artifice, and no bullshit needed or requested. These are men that aren't just requiring Tribe of others, they are actively providing it, over and over. I spent the evening greeting the new guys, adding them to the mailing-list, and and letting them know what our group is about. If everybody knows what is expected, then they are more likely to relax and dive in when they are ready.

I do this because it WORKS.  Not everybody is going to jump full-force into building camaraderie right away, but if a shy newbie sees the payoff of hanging around with men this warm and welcoming, and emulating them, he might just turn out to be a solid-gold addition to the group some day.

Those men who were roaring with laughter, standing intimately shoulder-to-shoulder and grinning widely all last evening didn't show up that way the very first time. They had to acclimate. Now, they are phenomenal role-models for more and more men who hunger for connectedness and authenticity. It's an ever-accelerating effect.

Last night was a perfect example of how we can be, when we are at our best. I'm deeply proud of my brothers. The men who showed up early and set the space up did so, hoping for this result.  The HARNESS party is OUR party. It's not some remote, top-down, typical "circuit party" based on shallowness and posturing.  We've all tried that for decades, and it doesn't work.

HARNESS was designed this way from the beginning, with full involvement from all parts of our community, and before it started, I saw our city's best volunteers and leaders hustling around getting the place prepped. They don't get paid for this. What is their payoff? They know that a monthly event like this one is a way to get men together in a way that matters for the maximum number of people.  It's not a bunch of random strangers bringing their individual agendas, it's a swarm of mutual trust and cooperation.

I can't think of anything nicer than that. The mutual investment keeps paying off.  I'm boggled by the history that I am witnessing. This is the best ride of my life!

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance, which contains news about ALL known upcoming events.

Tomorrow: HARNESS Party, Friday, December 14, Canned Food Drive

This is turning into quite the dark, Tribal affair.  Bring canned goods for Aaron's charity-drive, get a dollar off of the cover-price. I intend to bring LOTS of kinky toys, and I plan to use them. A lot. The line forms to the left, men.

Wed. December 19th: Men's Discussion Group Field Trip

The men of the weekly Discussions will be heading off to Number One Fifth Avenue for Pictionary on the Patio. Normally, our calendar prevents us from showing support for this fun, friendly event. Since it's the holidays, let's go lateral and have a new experience!

We will NOT be having any events at P&T until the big Planning Meeting on Wednesday, January 2nd at 6PM. Let's have a relaxed holiday season!

Friday the 21st: STUD Party in One Week

Rik Jammer is coming to San Diego, to be our featured guest at the Eagle on Friday, December 21, starting at 10:30PM.

My personal note:  He is a fine man, a dear friend, a successful businessman, and the closest thing to the "Papa Tony of Palm Springs" that I know of. He started Desert Fetish Authority (DFA), which is FMSD's brother club in the desert area. That group is now taking off like a rocket, going in radically new directions with a young, energized team.

He is sexy as hell, funny and warm, and I predict that he will be one of the more popular men featured during the second year of STUD Night. The best thing about him is that he is deeply wise - He has hosted MAJOR, annual pig parties that attract men from all over the world, he has been in many porn flicks, he has lived four or five lifetimes compared to most people, and yet he is always a true mensch. No wonder he is so widely loved and respected. He's not just some plastic jack-off fantasy creature - He personifies history in the making, and he's just getting started!

Save $25 on IML Weekend Packages

Many of us are planning to attend the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago, in late May, 2013.  If you buy your "May 24-27: Weekend Package" BEFORE December 31st, you get $25 off. It's never too early to make plans!

2013 Is Almost Here

As I have said before, most things are winding down until after the first of the year, due to the holidays - Parties, feasts, family visits, mistletoe riots, Elf spankings, it's crazy out there! I've been spending months trying to convince Santa that I will pay good money for his list of Naughty Boys. As part of the deal, I'll share mine with him. Like all of you, I have been tempted with fattening treats from every side lately.  Please be aware that this is going to be a long, cold winter, and some of us may not survive, so eat up!

24 hours after that big, huge and ridiculously successful fundraiser at the Center a week and a half ago, a whole bunch of San Diego's finest young leaders got together to brainstorm about creating future events that will really blow the lid off of people's expectations. This line of thinking wouldn't be possible if these guys didn't know just how much love and support exists in our town for them and their efforts. In nearly 30 months, San Diego's hundreds of events have proven that we can expect even BETTER days for 2013 and beyond.

For my own part, I expect to look like an idiot a LOT during 2013. Never intentionally, mind you - I just intend to take a lot of risks in how we can all create new possibilities in our community. I don't want to repeat what has happened before, and call it a day. I will be idealistic, forward-thinking and energized, and I will encourage everyone else to do the same. I won't always succeed, and I won't always look good, but I hear every day from people who love what I'm doing. My duty to my constituency is to keep pushing the envelope of what works in the new century. The breakthroughs keep happening because we aren't tied to the past any more. I'm willing to do a face-plant or two along the way, if it means that we can all hit even HIGHER heights!

Photography Notes

One of the benefits of being such a big, popular and wildly fascinating community is that we are being documented by an increasing number of superb photographers. Check out the newest photos by Cali, showing her unique viewpoint of the big fundraiser last week.

Speaking of photography, I strongly recommend Jim Wigler's new Tumblr site. His work is being digitized and posted for all to enjoy. He was there when a lot of crazy, interesting things were happening in our history!

Missing Camera?

From: Rob Craig

I attended the Thanksgiving meatballs things sponsored by Aaron Duke and Anthony, both of which I consider friends and there were several other people there that I spoke to as well. I ride a motorcycle and had ridden it to the function at the LGBT center. I have a camera that mounts on top of  my helmet. I dismounted it from my helmet because if I leave it on I tend to hit people and things with it. I set it down at my table and went to get dinner. Aaron Heier saw my camera and was concerned that someone would steal it and put it in his desk drawer. I Anthony when the function was winding down if he knew who to ask about my camera and he said to wait until the next day and ask Aaron Heier which I did and the camera had been taken from his desk drawer. They had a name of some man called Danny something. But honestly what the heck is going on?

Tony, Would you mind posting in your newsletter, that I will give a $50.00 reward for the return of the camera no questions asked. PLEASE. To be honest with you if I thought it would work I put an ad in for $500 for the return of the camera and conviction of the thief but that never works. SO PLEASE PLEASE call me if you have a question 619-606-3118 or 619-905-0140

Best Birthday Ever

Photo by Chris Smither

My wish is that everyone gets to enjoy this much love and support in their lives.

I'm STILL getting birthday wishes a week after my birthday, and I started getting them ten days ago! I am mentioning this because I have struggled to understand how to learn something from the avalanche of hundreds and hundreds of email/Facebook/phone/text messages flying at me, containing concentrated doses of affection. This is a much, much bigger show of kind, warm and joyful support than I have ever known was possible.

The conclusion that I choose to take away is that folks want me to keep doing what I'm known for - Testing new theories, observing the results, and reporting back. Since I'm motivated by love and idealism (rather than money, or a desire to shove people around), I've received a deeply affecting, crystal-clear message from everywhere that my work is needed, wanted and being watched in many cities. I'm honored and a bit overwhelmed, but I'm ready to get to work!

Pictionary at #1 5th Avenue

Note from Tony: This is an amiable, relaxed and fun gathering that I wish didn't collide on the calendar with FMSD's Men's Discussions every week.  I strongly recommend it as a way to contribute to charity, build new friendships and (in my case) release the KILLER PICTIONARY instinct!

tiger's Pictionary is held every Wednesday from 7:30pm to 10pm on the back patio of Number One Fifth Avenue, at 3845 5th Ave.

As of December 5th, tiger's Pictionary Wednesdays passed the $2000 mark for funds raised for the San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and their charities. Over $5000 has been donated to organizations like Mama's Kitchen, Special Delivery, San Diego Youth Services, the Womens Resource Center, Storefront, Being Alive, AIDSWalk, the list goes on.

Local businesses continue to donate amazing raffle items, and the crowd continues to grow. Beginning this month, clubs, businesses and organizations can fly their banners each Wednesday for a suggested cash donation of $50, or all Wednesday nights for a month for a $100 suggested cash donation.

Also beginning in December, funds raised on the 2nd Wednesday of each month will be donated to San Diego Leather Pride. Please contact tiger, Ms San Diego Leather 2010, at tigerboisd @yahoo.com for more information.

HARNESS Party, Friday, December 14, Canned Food Drive

Starting the Holiday season right on December 14th is HARNESS, a NEW monthly Leather/Gear event...You are always welcome to come out as you are, but LEATHER GEAR is encouraged, the least you can do is THROW ON A HARNESS!

This new event will feature...LEATHER MEN, PORN STARS, MUSCLE DADDIES, TATTOOED GUYS, PUPS, OTTERS, WOLVES, AND CUBS!

With a rotating roster of kick-ass DJs and leatheratti hosts, we are sure entice the fuck out of you. This month DJ M N M, who will be spinning SEXY TRIBAL and DANCE tracks sounds to promote close DANCING and CRUISING in the dark.

This month's Host is the 2012 Mr. San Diego Leather AARON DUKE! We are lucky to get this very busy gentleman, who has been so busy fulfilling his duties as a Title Holder, both in and out of San Diego. Aaron will be sponsoring a CANNED FOOD DRIVE....Bring in a bag of Canned food and get a dollar off the cover!

RUMOR HAS IT THAT SANTA MAY MAKE AN APPEARANCE......….

Also, check out the new PLAYSPACE....Last month it was A CRAZY SEXY AREA....This month we are bringing more of the same HOT FUN.....Bring a friend, or find a new one!!!!!

ALSO STAY TUNED FOR THE HOTTEST AFTER HOURS EVENT EVER.

Don't have any gear? NO WORRIES! We will have ANTHONY ROLLAR (Mr. San Diego Leather 2010) in house, "with Leather Love" fitting you out with a harness for only $50...other leather accessories will be available.

CUB CLUB SD is always looking for new dancers for our events, if interested send a full body pic in underwear to cubclubsd@yahoo.com to try out at the HARNESS event. We are always looking for LEATHER MEN, PORN STARS, MUSCLE DADDIES, TATTOOED GUYS, PUPS, OTTERS, WOLVES, AND CUBS!

STRAP UP. BUCKLE UP...and come take a ride.

HARNESS every 2nd Friday of the month at NUMB3RS.

COVER $8 DOLLARS...

NUM3ERS Nightclub

3811 Park Blvd, San Diego, California 92103

Update: Wednesday Dec. 12

The Planning Committee Meetings for December 12, 19 and 26 (along with the Men's Discussion for December 26) have been canceled for the holidays. Let's take a well-earned break!

2013 is going to be HUGE, with exciting, big and transformative events in San Diego's Tribe. A lot of people are going to be very surprised.  This will NOT be a warmed-up version of 2012, 1996, 1977, 2008 or any other year.  Let's all show up refreshed and ready to make magic happen!

On Wednesday Dec. 12, the topic of the Men's Discussion will be "What is a Man?", moderated by our own Jeremy.  I will not be attending, because I will be working directly on some of those plans that I hinted about in the previous paragraph.

I can't wait for what's next!

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance, which contains news about ALL known upcoming events.

I urge everybody to attend this Friday's Holiday Interclub Party. It's a fun gathering that has improved with more and more of our brothers showing up to be fine representatives of our Tribe.  I WAS planning to invite everybody to help me celebrate my 57th birthday on Friday at this event, but I was thoroughly surprised at the Wednesday night's Men's Discussion.  Ah, well. Let's celebrate the holidays, then!

The big news this last week was the Meatball Turkey Day Dinner (reviewed here). This huge annual benefit featured an astonishingly effective team of leaders, a massive squad of hyper-dedicated volunteers, a thoroughly A-level array of entertainers, and a completely full house of attendees, ending up in a BIG pile of cash being handed over to the Center for its Senior Services program. Everybody wins, everybody is covered in glory, and San Diego's Tribe shows what it is always about: loving, cooperative community with a big, big heart.

MOVING DAY REQUEST

Mr. SD Eagle 2012 Eli is moving on Thursday, December 13th, around 9am. He could use some help loading and unloading in the move to his new apartment. For those who have time to help, Eli would be willing to get pizza or something for your trouble. You can email him at MrEagleSD2012@gmail.com or text him at (909) 724-9480.

WHIP PRACTICE IN THE PARK

The first one was great, and I learned a lot. What a truly nice group of folks! Now, practice sessions are scheduled to show up on the first Saturday some months, and the first Sunday on others. Details here. I believe that I have it all handled on the calendar.

RED HANKIES WITH A FLOOR SHOW

On Thursday, Jan 10th, Boy Kevin will be hosting Red Hanky Night at the Eagle starting at 10PM.
He has asked me to stop by and do a special Flogging Demonstration. I will be bringing my highly-expert brother Tops as well. My usual pattern is to keep going and going and going, so if this works for you, feel free to step right up and ask for your turn!

LEATHER AND LACE BENEFIT

From Aaron:
Sunday, December 9, 5-11pm at Numbers. Leather and Lace - The Holiday Edition benefiting Special Delivery. We have five amazing entertainers, five sexy daddies with incredible auction items, and naughty photos with Santa, Ms. Claus, and the naughty elves. I just bought my holiday underwear. If you want to see me in them, come on out!

FOOD 4 KIDS VOLUNTEER EVENT ON January 10TH

From Ian:

Hello Fetishmen San Diego! I am so proud to see how we have become a support system for our own community and now I want us to share the best in us with San Diego as a whole. It is in this effort that I am proposing the Fetishmen San Diego Volunteer Corps; a ready group of men that are engaged in improving both the Fetish/Leather community and causes that affect our fellow San Diegans. For a January project, I would like to propose an outing to Advancing Compassion's "Food 4 Kids" backpack program on January 10, 2013. 

In concert with the San Diego Food Bank, these packs are given to schools that have identified youth that suffer from malnutrition. For many of these kids, the only full meal they receive is their school lunch. Once identified, the students are discreetly given packs which contain items like oatmeal, peanut butter, granola bars and canned soups which help they and their families get through the weekend. 

I believe that the next step in our evolution is to be out in the world, dispelling that myth that our kinky community is only about some hedonistic pleasure trip - rather we are a richly diverse, highly intelligent and sensitive tribe that represents the best in humanity. The spots are limited so, if interested or if you have questions, please email me at iandanielsmusic@ gmail.com and I will get you on the list!

My brothers (and sisters), I look forward to this new adventure!

San Diego Single Tail Whip Practice

From Drew:

“A Decade Long Tradition Continues”

Saturday, January 12, 2013 ·10AM –Noon
Location:  North of Kearn's Memorial Pool Parking Lot in the Morley Field Complex
at the corner of Texas St. and Upas St., San Diego, CA
Cost: Free
Dress code: Street Legal and Casual, Bring Your Single Tails.

As I restart this practice which has run on and off for more than a decade I have had some good inputs and we have a new place to practice. We are going to meet on the First Sundays on even months and Second Saturdays on odd months.

The practice place is a grassy area around some picnic tables just north of the parking lot for the Kearn’s Memorial Swimming Pool in the Morley Field Complex. Finding me should be easy: you just get to the corner of Texas St. and Upas St. and turn into the complex on the extension of Texas St. As you drive into the complex and approach the pool, the parking lot on your left is where to park. Just north of the parking lot is a group of picnic tables and I will be at one of them.

New member Alex, with a whip that he made himself!

There are several suitable areas with good grass to the East of the picnic tables and we will not have to spread out much to have room to accommodate a large number of people practicing. There are also public restrooms in the tennis complex to the west of our meeting area. If we end up in conflict with any other users of the facilities there are a few places just to the east to which we could walk.

Practice Stand - (whip this instead of people)

This is a public place and dress and behavior should be appropriate. The intent is to build skills with single tail whips so you might want to improvise a target/target stand but I plan to bring at least one I would be happy to share. I also bring a number of loaner whips for those without whips and I am always willing to coach a bit if you want some help. Let’s make sure we leave the place as nice as (or nicer) than we find it.

MasteroftheDeep

Happy cracking, Drew

Meatball Turkey Day Dinner Review : The Culture of Okey-Dokey

Update: One of the benefits of being such a big, popular and widely fascinating community is that we are being documented by an increasing number of superb photographers. Check out the newest photos by Cali, showing her unique viewpoint of the big fundraiser.

There is a lot to say about the Meatball Turkey Day Dinner Benefit that was held at the Center on Sunday, December 2nd, 2012. 

One glance will tell you, what words can't.

Massive: Every seat taken, completely sold-out, and more and more folks kept arriving during the evening, making the auditorium a lot more crowded.  You can see the overflow in the rear of the photo. The cash kept coming in and piling up. I haven't seen Washingtons, Lincolns, Hamiltons and Jacksons stacking up like this, since San Diego Leather Pride in 2002.  

I'm told that they way overtook their original predictions, and benefitted the Center's Senior Services at an all-time high.

You would think that the whole crowd has been friends together for years.

Well-run: THIS is how a benefit should be operated. It was TIGHT.  No boring stretches, no random happenstance.

Our hostess Glitz, and LaRue, representing the Center's Senior Services.

Center: Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron, 

Right: Mr. San Diego Leather 2010 Anthony. 

Left: Anthony's boy G.

Our hosts Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron, Mr. San Diego Leather 2010 Anthony, and Glitz Glam were the primary hosts, but honestly, I don't think there was anyone in the building who wasn't committed to a cooperative, successful and powerful result. It was like watching a professional orchestra, with Aaron, Anthony and Glitz as the conductors.

The long, long line for food, served up by eager volunteers.

There were dozens of volunteers EVERYWHERE, all of them deeply intense and unswerving in their dedication.  The food was delicious, plentiful and served with style by the volunteers, but mysteriously low in MEATBALL content. Somehow, the new caterer never got the meatball memo.  Nobody minded, because there was plenty of everything else for everybody to enjoy.

Cooperative: Something that the pictures CAN'T show you, is the vibe in the room. Utterly sweet, attentive (the place got quiet every time one of the hosts grabbed the microphone), sociable, and, most important of all, willing to go with whatever showed up. Sudden change of plans? "Okey-Dokey!" Technical problems? (only one that I know of) "No Problemo!"  

Representatives from the Rodeo Association.

My point is that this would be impossible if San Diego's Tribe wasn't so darned unified and joyous in massive groups. I've been seeing this mellow vibe more and more, and I can't see the upper limit of its effect. It's enormously stabilizing for a community that has really needed it, after some really bad times when AIDS wounded us. 

It's possible because of the deep level of trust that has been earned by many folks.  We pass the baton to one person, then the next person steps up, and then they hand off to the next person.  It's all intuitive, flexible, mellow and REALLY EFFECTIVE.  Everybody goes home with a sense that they contributed to a really successful event - they all have a stake in the effort expended, so they can then own the triumphant result afterward.

Now that the younger generations are fully in charge, we're moving forward FAST. We've regained the momentum we had in the late 70's, and have now gone way beyond. I can't imagine where we will be in the next five or ten years.

Entertaining: As I have said elsewhere, I'm not somebody who actively seeks out drag performers for an evening's pleasure.  Having said that, I would GLADLY bring a big crowd of my loved ones to be entertained by any or all of the lovely ladies who performed at the MBTDD benefit.  

Glitz and the Sisters revved-up the crowd for the fundraiser.

They were all A-level pros, and I kept wishing for a much better camera to get more amazing shots.  

As a result, I'm retiring the iPhone as a photojournalistic tool, and I've sent my big DSLR off to the factory for repair.  I'm now motivated to do that, because I could see great artistic benefit to following these artists and enjoying their craft.

That's my Master's Cap, full of cash. I collected it on Naomi's behalf, because she was doing a FLAWLESS performance of the classic "Single Ladies" choreography, which didn't leave her time to stop and thank folks for their generous donations to the Center.

In summation: I have been to all three Meatball Turkey Day Dinners. This holiday-season event has become a solid, dependable, inclusive, successful and majestic addition to San Diego's roster of annual traditions.  I'm pretty certain that if we could somehow magically quadruple the size of the Center's main auditorium, it would be a cinch to fill it up just as full, next year. Everybody loves a winner, and at THIS event, everybody wins, and everybody gets to feel really good about being part of a thriving, successful community.

It's so nice to share such good news!

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance that contains news about ALL known upcoming events.

This newsletter is LATE by several days, and I apologize.  I work for myself, and after months of slow business, things heated up and got all frantic.  I'm snatching a few moments here and there to get the word out today. I'm slowly setting up a system so that others can help me with the tedious stuff that tends to slow me down when processing data for the newsletter.

There is much, MUCH more that I could have included in this newsletter. I have a big ol' pile of backlogged articles, pictures and exciting news that I may get around to posting when I finally have a chance. 

For those of you who were intrigued by my recent announcement of something completely new that was happening this last Wednesday, here is the story of what happened.

This is quite the frantically-busy week of events - Don't let ANYBODY tell you that the scene in San Diego is dead! We had 26 events for the month of November.

Tonight, Friday the 30th:

- 8:30PM SHARP, we will be meeting at the front door of the DMV in Hillcrest, in order to ride-share to the Men-Only Beat and Greet in Downtown San Diego.

Tomorrow, Saturday, December 1st:

- 4pm, we will be at Bourbon Street at 4612 Park Blvd for the Cigars & Boots Social.

- 7PM, it's the JayPG Photography exhibition.

- 10PM, it's the Fifth Anniversary BearDance Party at Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd.

Sunday, December 2nd:

- 10am, Whip Practice in the Park at Morley Field

- On Sunday at 5PM, it's the Social Event of the Season!

The Meatball Turkey Day Dinner is the big, jam-packed fundraiser at the Center at 3909 Centre St. that brings out enormous amounts of good-willed people.  The main Auditorium is generally sold-out. You can still get tickets, but hurry!  It's the only fundraiser I've ever seen where there is a line outside of folks hoping to get in. They always make a LOT of superb food, but they tend to run out because of the massive crowds.

Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron tells me that he and his team have gathered ENORMOUS quantities of donated items for the Silent Auction - It's probably the biggest collection that I have ever heard of, and I've been paying attention since around 1984. This tells me that San Diego's community is eager to contribute and celebrate some very good times together.

UPDATE:

The events on Wednesday, December 25th, have been canceled, for rather obvious reasons!

Sending Love and Including Our Brothers Who Are Far Away

On Wednesday, November 28th, we did something very, very modern.  

Our brother leatherboy James recently shipped out, and has been adjusting to life on the other side of the earth in Afghanistan. He is going to need some time to fit into some very different circumstances.  During the transition-time, he has been a bit homesick, so we organized a Group Hug for James at our Men's Discussion:

That's him on my iPad, live from Afghanistan, letting us know that he is okay, and getting the love that he deserves.  James organized a Gear Night Dinner just before he shipped out, and he plans to do more community leadership once he gets back.

Here's to his safe return!

We will continue to do this same thing as time goes by, because several of our brothers are elsewhere on behalf of our military, and Skype and other services are free of cost for this sort of thing.

Whip Practice in the Park

From Drew:

As I restart this practice which has run on and off for more than a decade I have had some good suggestions and I have picked a new place for our first meeting.  The time was to meet as many people’ needs as I could.  I am considering having the meetings for odd months on Saturday mornings to cover the second most requested time frame.

Practice Stand - (whip this instead of people)

The practice place we will try the first month is a grassy area around some picnic tables just north of the parking lot for the Kearn’s Memorial Swimming Pool in the Morley Field Complex.  Finding me should be easy you just get to the corner of Texas St. and Upas St. and turn into the complex on the extension of Texas St.  As you drive into the complex and approach the pool, the parking lot on your left is where to park.

Just north of the parking lot is a group of picnic tables and I will be at one of them.  There are several suitable areas with good grass to the East of the picnic tables and we will not have to spread out much to have room to accommodate a large number of people practicing.  There are also public restrooms in the tennis complex to the west of our meeting area.  If we end up in conflict with any other users of the facilities there are a few place just to the east we could walk to.

This is a public place and dress and behavior should be appropriate.  The intent is to build skills with single tail whips so you might want to improvise a target/target stand but I plan to bring at least one I would be happy to share.  I also bring a number of loaner whips for those without whips and I am always willing to coach a bit if you want some help.  Let’s make sure we leave the place as nice as or nicer than we find it.    

Happy cracking, Drew

Wonderful Photography Show

I'm pretty sure that I have never, ever seen so many superb photographers at one time, who have such a keen interest in men of kink, fetish and leather.  I guess that it is because we are so darned visibly interesting and vivid when you give us a chance!

This Saturday, December 1st (right after Cigars & Boots at Bourbon Street), they are showcasing the work of JayPG Photography.

This is a JayPG portrait of my leather 

family during LA Leather Pride in March 2012. 

Here is a quote from the publicity: