Fetish Men San Diego: August 2013

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance,
which contains news about ALL known upcoming events.
Be sure to click on "More Info" to get the best details!

eBay Jocks?

No, not THIS kind….

I'm looking for help - I have a LOT of rare and valuable stuff, stored carefully for decades, but my ignorance of eBay's culture has left me pretty bruised and screwed too many times. The big-city sharpies see me coming from miles away! I'd like some help navigating the path toward finally liquidating my stock. Any coaches out there? Email me at papatony AT mac DOT com.

Recent Articles

My Darkest Secret, and My Retirement.

First ‘San Diego Leather Fetish Ball’ to be held Saturday, Oct. 5 - News about Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Robb Rodd's Leather Fetish Ball. It's a BIG deal! Here is the audio of his full description about the event.

WEDNESDAY'S AUDIO IS NOW POSTED: August 28, 7PM: "Forbidden Orgasms: Barebacking, Bug-Chasing, Drugs, Brown Hankies, (Fill In The Blank)." I also linked to inexpensive sources for the recommended books that were mentioned.

Visible Bodies: Transgender Narratives Retold - Our local transgender brothers and sisters have been part of this project, which is deeply admirable - Telling our truth, fully and openly is the best, dependable way to raise the level of understanding in the world. It's well-worth donating to their project. Trans folks are FAR more likely to be bashed than anyone else, and long-term understanding and communication can make all of the difference. A lot of the folks involved are admirable friends and associates of mine.

Upcoming Men's Discussion Topics

Men's Discussions are at 7PM every Wednesday

Wednesday, September 4: Male Grief - The Mask That Men Live Inside. Here is a preview video that will explain the topic.

Wednesday, September 11th: How Do We Meet? How Do We Court? This is a follow-up to the excellent presentation by Marc Webb a few weeks earlier. The worksheet PDF is here, and is suggested study-material.

Wednesday, September 18th: Ecstasy: How Do We Achieve It In All Aspects of Life? ...and no, we are not talking about the drug.

ROMP RECAP - San Diego Leather Pride 2013

NEWEST TITLEHOLDERS

Left to right:

Outgoing Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke,

Mr. San Diego Leather 2013 Eli Correa,

Ms. San Diego Leather 2013 Colt Everyday, and

Outgoing Ms. San Diego Leather 2012 Wish Linda

Photo by our superb Photo Journalist Scott Smith!

Pictures and Video from ROMP 2013 - This is a work in progress - we need more pics and videos, if you have them. This is for the archives! I keep adding more, every couple of days. For instance, I repaired the link to the contest photos, thanks to Scott's feedback.

Upcoming Events

Saturday, August 31, 10PM onward: WOLF'S REVISITED BACKROOM PARTY @ the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way.

August 30-Sep. 2: Badger Flat Run, 52nd Anniversary: Since 1961, Badger Flat has been the legendary event where men could be themselves among other gay men, their appreciation for their motorcycles and the celebration of their common sexuality.

Tuesday, September 3 (first and third Tuesday of each month), 7PM: Hands-On Demos @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way. These are utterly safe, relaxed and sociable opportunities to get better-acquainted with the kinky arts. All are welcome, at all experience-levels. In fact, we encourage beginners, because we make it okay to be clumsy or unsure. We all have to start somewhere!

Wednesday, September 4, 7PM: Men's Discussions. Male Grief - The Mask That Men Live Inside. Here is a preview video that will explain the topic.

Wednesday, September 4, 9PM: Puppy Night @ San Diego Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way

Saturday, September 7 (first Saturday of each month), 4-7PM: Please join us for a special Cigars and Boots. This event will serve as a travel fund fundraiser for Aaron, Eli, and Wish when the travel to Chicago to cheer Aaron on as he competes for American Leatherman 2013. There will be a $5 donation at the door (no one will be turned away for lack of funds), $5 cigar bar, bootblacks, and raffles.

Aaron will also be collecting donations items for his auction baskets for the contest. If you would like to donate to Aaron’s auction baskets, please contact him at mrsandiegoleather2012 AT gmail DOTcom

If you are unable to attend the event, but would still like to help with the travel fund, here is an easy way you can make a donation online.
http://www.gofundme.com/3vape8

Saturday, September 7 (first Saturday of each month), 10PM: BearNight Dance @ Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd.

Sunday, September 8, 4-7PM: Titleholder Introduction @ Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd. Please join us in welcoming Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather 2013 Eli Correa and Colt Everyday. PLEASE BRING A DISH TO SHARE.

Wednesday, September 11th (every Wednesday), 7PM: Men's Discussions. Tonight's topic: How Do We Meet? How Do We Court? This is a follow-up to the excellent presentation by Marc Webb a few weeks earlier. The worksheet PDF is here, and is suggested study-material.

Wednesday, September 11th, 9PM: Karaoke Night with FMSD @ Redwing Bar & Grill, 4012 30th St.

Saturday, September 14, 3-8PM @ Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd: Lube It Up And Strip It Down: The Power of Six AIDS Walk Team will host lube wresting!!! The team includes members from the San Diego Leather Community, The San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, The Bears San Diego, The Imperial Court de San Diego, The San Diego Transgender Community, and the San Diego Gay Rodeo Association. Each community group with have members representing them going head-to-head in slippery battle. The audience will have the opportunity to bid on the winners and the chance to win great prizes. It will be held at Numbers and there is a $10 door fee.

Saturday, September 14, 2013, 7:30-10pm "HOT GUYS WITH GUNS" - San Diego Premiere! @ Birch North Park Theater at 2891 University Ave. Part time actor and full time waiter Danny (Marc Anthony Samuel), still in love with his ex, rich party boy Pip (Brian McArdle), attends a private eye class in preparation for a cop role for which he is auditioning. But when Pip becomes a robbery victim to the “gay sex party bandits,” the two men – despite their unresolved sexual tension - team up as amateur sleuths to solve the crime. As they delve into Hollywood’s gay power world, guns are shot, bodies drop and the two find themselves in one hot gay mess but remain determined to uncover the culprits. Hot Guys with Guns has a script that pops with gay wit and cultural references (“Cops? I am a black man in east L.A. with a dead Mexican on the floor with no head, we can’t call the cops!” as well as a memorable cast of supporting actors (Joan Ryan as Pip’s needy and boozy mom, Trey McCurley as Pip’s red headed boy toy, Alan Blumenfeld as Jimmy, the hard-nosed P.I. instructor, and Darryl Stephens as a friend with a dark secret.

Wednesday, September 18th (every Wednesday), 7PM. Tonight's topic: Ecstasy: How Do We Achieve It In All Aspects of Life? ...and no, we are not talking about the drug.

Friday, September 20, 10:30pm: STUD NIGHT @ the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. WOW, can you believe it is our 2 year anniversary already!! Special guests tonight will be Jackson Lawless and Nick Capra.

Sunday, September 29, 11am to 6pm: Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Here are my Tips for Newbies.

San Diego's own Bryan Teague won American Leatherboy in 2010

October 11-13: American Brotherhood Weekend: A Leather Family Reunion in Chicago. Our own Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron will be running for American Leatherman 2013.

Saturday, October 5, 2013, 6:30pm - 11:30pm: Leather Fetish Ball @ Sunset Temple at 3911 Kansas Street:

Performances by: Glitz Glam and Travis Ti

Special Appearances:
American Leatherman 2013 Contestant Aaron Duke

Dress Code Encouraged:
Leather, Fetish, Military, Uniform, Rubber

For further information contact your host:
Robert Rodriguez
Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 at
MrSDEagle2013 [ a ] gmail.com

Saturday, October 19: Ice in the Heat - an International Chastity Event.

November 7-10: Palm Springs Leather Pride

Wednesday, Nov. 13, 7PM: Massive Movie Night @ Birch North Park Theater at 2891 University Ave. Tonight's treat: The funniest gay comedy of all time.

January 17-20: Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend 2014

Ron's Speech

More video and pictures can be found here.

Nelson Mandela once said: 'No matter where you are in life, there is always more journey ahead.'

In life, we all travel different paths. In leather, our tribe needs more inclusion on this journey. By making room for diversity and people of color, we’re not only building a bridge that can close the racial and generational gaps, we’re also fostering a greater acceptance of our community as a whole.

A piece of leather doesn’t make us more, or less than what we already are, it’s just a key that can open doors to different paths that we may take in our lives.

While our personal strengths and character are continuously tested by how we treat those we come in contact with while on our journey, having that leather brother or sister who has not only walked before us, but is now willing to walk beside us, shows a tribal bonding that will keep our leather family strong and knowledgeable for the next generation.

And regardless of all the noticeable differences between us, we all share a common thread… a love of leather.

So I leave you with this: it doesn’t matter how much leather you have in your closet, but rather, how much leather you have in your heart!

And with that, I am SIR Ron, contestant # 4, your candidate for Mr. San Diego Leather, as well as a brotherly companion on your leather journey.

Contestant Introductions

Here are the folks who ran for Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather 2013:

I've asked them to introduce themselves:

Eli grew up in CA, but has explored many parts of the world through the US ARMY. While serving he was introduced to the leather community and found his home. Since 2006 his journey has taken him to work at bars such as The Barracks in Palm Springs, The San Diego Eagle, and holding the title of Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012. He enjoys numerous kinks such as Flogging, Electro, Bondage, Spanking, and more. Eli is excited to compete for Mr. San Diego Leather 2013, continuing his leather path and growth.

Colt grew up in San Diego, but moved to San Francisco in her early 20s. She was introduced to leather through the San Francisco Citadel's educational programming as well as a monthly queer Leather happy hour. She moved back to San Diego recently, and looks forward to learning and walking her Leather path with friends and family.

Leather Sir Ron: As a self-described protocol-based Dominant Sir, I began my entry into the leather scene when I came out as a gay man, in 1989. I was extremely fortunate to find care and mentoring from an Old Guard Leather Sir who took me under his wing for grooming. In 2002, after my military career, my journey took me to Washington, DC, where I joined my first levi/leather club, and started to get in touch with my kinkier fetish lifestyle. On this leg of my leather journey, I’m sharing the fruits of my educational labor by mentoring other leathermen and breaking down the perceived myths and stereotypes of the Leather/Fetish community by outsiders.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Aaron's Stepdown Speech: The Best is Yet to Come

by Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke

on Saturday, August 24, 2013,

at the end of Aaron's term as a titleholder:

1. Here is the video of the first part of Aaron's step-down speech.
2. Here is the link to the video that showed how Aaron's title year went…
3. Here is the video of the last part of Aaron's step-down speech.
4. Another link to Aaron's speech.

Good evening, my brothers and sisters. How are y’all doing?

Tonight, I want to talk to you about dreams. Yes, Walt Disney WAS right. All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

Nine years ago, I was having coffee with my friend, Mike Harrell. I was going on and on about the tragedy called my life. It was very dramatic. I assure you. He said to me, “Aaron, you speak as though the best has already happened to you. I am here to tell you, the best is yet to come.” Since that moment, having dreams and setting goals has become a way of life for me. We don’t get to set goals if we don’t have dreams.

This years has truly been a dream come true. I thank you all for believing in me and being a part of the dream. I have wanted to be a leather titleholder since I was 18 years old. People told me that I never would, because I didn’t fit into their predefined box of what a titleholder is and isn’t. They had notions that one must look the right way, act the right way, read the right books, attend the right conferences, know the right people, and the list of rights could go on and on. I almost didn’t run for this title, because I had allowed others to define what being a titleholder is and isn’t. Others of you reminded me, the Best is yet to come. I don’t fit into your box. I have never fit into any box my whole life. This is my journey. What I have been is authentic and real. I have worn my leather heart on my sleeve. I have been an inspiration for others and let them know, the best is yet to come.

I never dreamed in a million years, that LGBT weekly would plaster my face up on the cover of their magazine. You know you are famous when, picture this, a homeless man, you know, one of the ones with a shopping cart, stops you as says, “You are mister leather. Can I get a hug?” It is important to have people around you that keep you grounded. I shared this story with Wish. She reminded me that he probably used my face to wipe his ass. I have started flagging brown on the right now.

Having a title is an honor and a responsibility. I am more than a pretty face. My dream is to be a leader. Three hundred and sixty five days ago, I was told that as a titleholder, I am a representative of the community, but not a leader of the community. I have to disagree. Leadership is a process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task. Leadership is organizing a group of people to achieve a common goal. Leaders possess situational interaction, function, behavior, power, vision, values, and charisma. I believe this describes me. What do you think?

Once again, I had to sit down a couple of weeks ago and define what my dreams and goals are for after the sash. How am I truly to be effective? What is my next phase? How will I serve my brothers and sisters in ways that have yet to be imagined? How do I let everyone else know, the best is yet to come.

Our community is a living organism and has been changing and evolving since its creation. We MUST change and evolve with it. Instead of pining for what it “use to be like”, embrace what it is today, and what it can be tomorrow. Spend more time talking about what is right with our community today and less time talking about what is wrong. Yes, our leather bars are not filled to capacity with men dripping in dead cow and public sex. We have found other ways to connect with one another when the bars are closed. We have created events that allow us to socialize with one another and build community. We have plenty of groups that support kinky people in different capacities. So, tell me, what have we done wrong here? It seems to me, the best is yet to come.

We often get caught up with talking about how our community needs education. While I do agree this is very important, our current model of lecture style education is not effective. Did you get that? By a show of hands, how many of you learned to perform oral sex for the first time by attending a one hour lecture by a self-proclaimed expert? No, you learned by doing. Therefore, I will focus my educational efforts on creating events where people can learn BDSM techniques in an hands-on environment. This might include one-on-one sessions, small groups, or a weekend of hands on training. With the emphasis being on having fun. It you aren’t having fun, you ain’t doing it right.

One of my dreams was to launch a mental health campaign geared towards our community and to be able to present this around the country. I have been able to start to present this program and engage communities in this discussion. From time to time, each of us has experienced some sort of mental health challenge, but for some, this is a way of life. Rather than ignoring and further isolating our brothers and sisters, we need to work to integrate them into our community. We engage them in ways that will improve our community while raising their self-esteem. We all have felt this way. We all desire a place and purpose in our community. We all deserve to know, the best is yet to come.

To our new Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather 2013, this is your title year. It does not belong to someone else. Don’t listen to the people that tell you what you should do. Do what you want to do. At the end of the year, all you have left is the memories. They will have more significant meaning if they are the ones you made. Dream your own dreams. Set your own goals. Make your own journey. I am here today to tell you, the best is yet to come.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Pictures and Video from ROMP 2013

ROMP is also known as San Diego Leather Pride. More publicity here.

Photos are by our superb photo journalist Scott Smith.

If you have pictures or video that you could contribute,

I am gladly adding 100% of them below as they come in. Thanks!

Friday, August 23:

Leather Pride Flag Raising: Pictures and Video.

Left to right: Annie Romano, (Producer), Eli, Ron and Colt.

Meet and Greet: Pictures.

Saturday, August 24:

Mr. & Ms. San Diego Leather 2013 Contest:

Contestant Introductions.

Pictures.

Videos:

1. Here is the video of the first part of Aaron's step-down speech.
2. Here is the link to the video that showed how Aaron's title year went…
3. Here is the video of the last part of Aaron's step-down speech.
4. Another link to Aaron's speech.

Caryl's Presentation
Colt's Fantasy
Colt's Speech
Eli's Fantasy
Eli's Skin Segment
Eli's Speech
International Ms. Leather 2013's Speech
Ron's Auction Basket
Ron's Fantasy
Ron's Speech - Text is here.
Eli and Colt's Victory Dance
Wish Linda's Stepdown Speech (abbreviated because my camera couldn't capture her presentation video - I hope to post a copy here eventually.)

Sunday, August 25:

Leather Pride Flag Lowering: Pictures and Video.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Social Column

Delightful Leadership

Every year, there are a zillion separate, non-ccordinated AIDS Walk events. This year, we have the Power of 6, where folks with...

Bears San Diego

Imperial Court de San Diego

San Diego Leather Community

San Diego Trans Community

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Asylum of the Tortured Heart

San Diego Gay Rodeo

...have combined forces to create a unified effort, with larger numbers. I urge everyone to contribute and get involved. This is a new concept (the first new one in a long time), and, as always, the AIDS Walk raises a ton of money for desperately needy brothers and sisters who are far worse off than we are.

Talk to Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke at mrsandiegoleather2012 AT gmail DOTcom for more information. We need more folks on the team!

See below for the Lube It Up Strip It Down fundraiser coming soon!

The Newest Audio Has Been Posted

This time the Men's Discussion was all about ECSTASY, PART ONE: WHAT HOLDS US BACK. This is a DEEP topic, and undoubtedly the first time that this subject has been covered so honestly, thoroughly and passionately. The older men in the crowd REALLY got into it, which is a rare and huge blessing.

I've included the imagery for what holds us back (with the MOST important reason being carefully avoided, because it's so awesomely scary that nobody wants to bring it up).

I've also posted the image of what we yearn for.

Ecstasy, Part Two, "Achieving Ecstasy" will be coming up in about a month.

Pictures posted: softBRAWL 2013

Leather v Sisters, Sunday, July 7 at 11AM. The Sisters got their asses handed to them! REMATCH!

Dan's Review of the Leather Ream for 2013 has been posted.

Upcoming Men's Discussion Topics

Things will be changing soon with the weekly men's Discussions - Instead of EVERY Wednesday in the same place, we might be alternating them with Hands-On Demo Training Sessions at a new location. Keep an eye on this newsletter for more updates as they arise.

Wednesday, August 21, 7PM: Intentional Sexuality: Strategies from 30 Years In Kink, hosted by Marc Webb.

Wednesday, August 28, 7PM: Forbidden Orgasms: Barebacking, Bug-Chasing, Drugs, Brown Hankies, (Fill In The Blank).

Wednesday, September 4, 7PM: Male Grief - The Mask That Men Live Inside. Here is a preview video that will explain the topic.

Upcoming soon: Growing Older: The Whole Story

The Onion: Masochist Dog Enjoys Being Walked Around On Leash While Naked

Finally! Something for us BIG FELLAS!

I'm glad to say that large and/or tall, corn-fed leathermen now have a portable sling-frame that WORKS nicely for those of ummm… HEROIC proportions. It's six foot eight high, and can handle 650 pounds.

I know what I want for my birthday!

The Factory Tour is a great pleasure to behold!

Upcoming Events: ROMP Edition

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance,
which contains news about ALL known upcoming events.
Be sure to click on "More Info" to get the best details!

San Diego Leather Pride (ROMP) Weekend Is Here!

ROMP is a weekend of celebrating our local affinity-groups, businesses, new leaders and Tribal joy. More info here. This weekend's Leather Pride events are posted below.

Here are the folks running for Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather 2013 this Saturday night:

I've asked them to introduce themselves:

Upcoming Events

Tuesday, August 20 (first and third Tuesday of each month), 7PM: Hands-On Demos @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way. These are utterly safe, relaxed and sociable opportunities to get better-acquainted with the kinky arts. All are welcome, at all experience-levels. In fact, we encourage beginners, because we make it okay to be clumsy or unsure. We all have to start somewhere!

Wednesday, August 21, 7PM: Men's Discussions: Strategies from 30 Years In Kink, hosted by Marc Webb.

Friday, 23rd (fourth Friday of each month), 10pm: Dress It Up/Strip It Down (Gear Night) @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way

SAN DIEGO LEATHER PRIDE WEEKEND

Get your tickets EARLY. Limited space for the events. Details here.

Friday, August 23rd, 3PM: Leather Pride Flag Raising

Friday, August 23rd: First three events are located at the Victory Theater (Center for the Amusing Arts) at 2558 Imperial Avenue (between 25th and 26th Streets, near Golden Hill):

8 pm - 9:30pm: Meet & Greet
9:30 pm - 9:45 pm: Opening Ceremonies
9:45 pm - 11 pm: Celebrate Wish and Aaron at the Cigar Social, with Hors d'oeuvres and drinks

11pm-2am: After Hours Gear Social @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way.

Saturday, August 24th: First three events are located at the Victory Theater:

6 pm - 8:30 pm: Mr and Ms San Diego Leather Contest
8: 30 pm - 9:30 pm: High Leather Cocktails with Tray Service and Cigar Social
9:30 pm: Announcement of Mr and Ms San Diego Leather 2013 winners

Saturday, August 24, 11:00pm until 2:00am, Gear and Grind Leather Victory Dance (Unofficial, but we're going!) @ Bourbon Street at 4612 Park Blvd. Ladies and Gentlemen, Please join the San Diego Leather Community in celebrating the outgoing and incoming Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather. The contest will take place at the Victory Theater in Grant Hill, but the victory dance will be at Bourbon Street from 11pm-2am on August 24th. Gear is encouraged, but please keep it street legal =) See you there!

Sunday, August 25th:

11 am - 1 pm - Victory Brunch @ Urban Mo's Bar & Grill at 308 University Ave in Hillcrest
4PM (tentative): Leather Pride Flag Lowering

Wednesday, August 28, 7PM: Men's Discussions - Forbidden Orgasms: Barebacking, Bug-Chasing, Drugs, Brown Hankies, (Fill In The Blank).

Wednesday, August 28, 9PM: Karaoke Night with FMSD @ Redwing Bar & Grill, 4012 30th St.

Wednesday, September 4, 7PM: Men's Discussions - Male Grief - The Mask That Men Live Inside. Here is a preview video that will explain the topic.

Saturday, September 7 (first Saturday of each month), 10PM: BearNight Dance @ Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd.

Sunday, September 29, 11am to 6pm: Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Here are my Tips for Newbies.

San Diego's own Bryan Teague won American Leatherboy in 2010

October 11-13: American Brotherhood Weekend: A Leather Family Reunion in Chicago. Our own Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron will be running for American Leatherman 2013.

Saturday, October 19: Ice in the Heat - an International Chastity Event.

November 7-10: Palm Springs Leather Pride

Wednesday, Nov. 13, 7PM: Massive Movie Night @ Birch North Park Theater at 2891 University Ave. Tonight's treat: The funniest gay comedy of all time.

January 17-20: Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend 2014

Friday, August 16, 2013

NO NEWSLETTER THIS WEEK

I'm not feeling well. My dog Reggie is terminal, and fading day by day. Given a choice between cranking out a newsletter, and giving him love (and chopped liver), I'm going to go with the good boy this time around.

Here's a recent portrait I did of him, using Photoshop CS6's Oil Paint filter, and printed out life-sized on canvas, using archival inks that will last hundreds of years.

In the 165 weeks since FMSD began, this is the first time that I've skipped a newsletter.

Last week's newsletter is still in force!