Fetish Men San Diego: May 2012

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Upcoming Events

The plans are in the works for a VERY different, VERY BIG party in celebration of FMSD's second anniversary. As soon as everything is locked down, I'l pass the word along.

VOLUNTEERS FOR PRIDE WANTED

The Leather Realm at Pride in late July is a shining beacon of how our community can be when it is at its best. If you'd like to help out to make sure that the events flow smoothly, please reply to this message and tell me so. I will pass you along to the folks in charge - You will gain great numbers of Bonus Points in the process. People who volunteer in our Tribe get extra helpings of friendship, acceptance and mentoring, because doing good in the world is worth rewarding. Doors will open for you that you never even knew existed. The folks who helped out last year have been getting flooded with love and ongoing help as the year has gone by. Ask any of them.

Please let us know - This is NOT one of those circumstances where people just use your good efforts up and throw you away. There is no power in complaining if the community is not working out the way that you want it to - By volunteering, you're helping to actively build a better, stabler, thriving Tribe for everyone.

RECENT ARTICLES

Woody Woodruff named International Mr. Leather 2012

Review of Underwear Party and Contest, with pictures

Upcoming Events

Fri, Jun 1, 7-9PM; SDLOG educational event. First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Center, by the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University.

Sat. Jun 2, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers. $5 before 10PM. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews

Sun. Jun 3, 5PM, CIGARS & BOOTS on the patio at Redwing. First Sun. of each month. Wear whatever gear makes you feel extra-sexy! If you like a low-pressure, comfortable event with men that you can relate to, this one is for you.

Wed. Jun 6, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by California LeatherSir 2012 Sam. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. Topic: Aging Gracefully, and Younger/Older Relationships

Wed. Jun 6, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, hosted by San Diego Puppy Patrol (SDPP). First Wed. of each month.

Thu. Jun 7, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Jun 8, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle; 2nd Fri. of each month. Hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct., February, March, April, June and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.

Sat. Jun 9, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHT at the Eagle. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.

Wed. Jun 13, 6:30-9:30PM (Second Wednesday of each month) - Play games at Dave & Buster's to benefit Toys for Tots.

Thu. Jun 14, 9pm-1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. Second Thu. of each month

Fri. Jun 15, 8:30PM-1AM: FRIDAY NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.

Sat. Jun 16, 9:30PM-2AM: LL Bear Dance Party @ Rich's San Diego. Third Saturday of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event. Shirtless with a harness appears to be the dress code!

Wed. Jun 20, 7-11PM: TNG social event at Bamboo Lounge. TNG stands for "The Next Generation", which is a kinky social group for younger men and women from 18 to 35 years old. This particular event is in the style of a group discussion. Third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Jun 20, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by California LeatherSir 2012 Sam. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. Topic: Staying Connected, Cyber Dating And Social Sites On The Internet

Thu. Jun 21, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Jun 22, 10:30PM: San Diego Eagle Stud Night (party with the bad boyz of porn) featuring Jackson Lawless. Looking forward to seeing all the hot Leathermen, Pups and FetishMen.

Sat. Jun 23, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle. Fourth Sat. of each month. Everyone is invited to strip down to those boxers, briefs or "street" legal jocks and join in the fun, you do not have to enter the contest. Although our 1st prize is $100 Cash and 2nd prize is a $25 bar tab., Clothes check opens at 10pm and the contest will be held at midnight. Your evening will be hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012, Eli

Fri. Jun 29, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as August 31 and Nov. 30th of 2012. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment. I will be there, teaching flogging as usual.

July 20-22: SAN DIEGO LGBT PRIDE, featuring the Leather Realm at the Pride Festival.

Jul 26-29, INTERNATIONAL LEATHER SIR/BOY, INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY BOOT BLACK in San Francisco.

Sunday, July 29: Up Your Alley Street Fair in San Francisco.

Sunday, September 23: Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.

November 8-11: Palm Springs Leather Pride

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Kurt's Fiesta of Love

I recently wrote about Mr. San Diego Leather 2011 Kurt, who went to Chicago to represent San Diego at the International Mr. Leather contest in Chicago. We sent him off with our love and donations, and he put everything he had into being the best ambassador for our town.

I wrote about Kurt recently (though I fussed and worried about him being sad, which he really isn't), asking people to send him affectionate words to thank him for what he does and who he is.

Kurt wanted to say this in response:

I am in a wonderful space. I'm enjoying an incredible IML with 48 new brothers and having the experience of a lifetime. My Journey is to be continued at home in San Diego. The outpouring of love and suport from everyone is cherished more than anything I could imagine. My work is far from finished, only this moment of a weekend and contest is over.

Here are a few of the responses I received, and there are many more that went directly to Kurt:

From: Daddy Don

Although competing at IML is big, it seems very small when you consider Kurt's overall accomplishments over the past 15 months since winning the title of Mr. San Diego Leather 2011.
I have known Kurt for about seven months. Over those seven months I have learned a great deal about him and I would like to share those qualities with you. Call it what you will, I am just extremely observant and perceptive when it comes to leathermen like Kurt.
Kurt gauges his worth by making a comparison of how his current accomplishments exceed his past accomplishments and not by comparing himself to others.
He sets his own goals regardless of what others deem to be important.
Kurt does not dismiss or take for granted the things closest to his heart.
He devotes his time on earth living in the present not the past or the future.
Kurt displays persistence, when he feels he still has something to give.
He has the courage to admit he is not perfect or that he might depend on others.
Kurt has the confidence to take risks.
He opens up his inner self, his life, and himself to love.
Kurt does not disregard his dreams, but maintains hope and purpose.
He knows that in his life's journey each step on that pathway should be savored.
Kurt safely transcends limits, borders, and boundaries, while thinking out of the box.
He remains loyal to himself, as well as, to his fellow leatherfolk.
Kurt transmutes pain into pleasure.
He trusts himself and seeks out others he can trust.
Kurt lives by his own set of rules and is self disciplined.
He is always a leatherman whether dressed in leather, jeans and tee shirt or wearing a suit.
And last, but not least, Kurt fully realizes that you are not a leatherman simply by someone else proclaiming you to be so.
Admittedly, I have learned some of these things through conversations with Kurt, but I have also relied on just standing back and observing. This practice is a personality trait, at which I am extremely proficient and I consider it my forte. You can learn so much about people.

From: Rob

We are blessed count you among one of our HEROES. Stay Golden.

From: Everardo

You are a winner in my book my friend! Thank you for having the courage to compete in IML! Thank you for your selfless hours you devote to our community. I am proud to call you my friend and my leather brother!

From: Michael

Congratulations Kurt! From one ENFP to another, I say well done and I am honored that you represented me and San Diego, that is the important thing, that is the great thing. I look forward to your return and offer my help in anyway that you may need it. I am so proud of you.

From: Andre

You had the opportunity to be the representative of San Diego at IML. That, in and of itself is an amazing accomplishment. You may not have made the top twenty. But you are number one in my book. I am so proud of you and all you have done. Experience the emotion (the highs and the lows). Let all that is good empower you to rise above the ashes. Trust me. I have been there.

From: Bob

Kurt is my hero.
He moved to San Diego at almost the exact time I decided to leave my comfortable suburban cave and get back into the leather community. We met at the first FMSD "Dress it up/Strip it down" night that either of us had attended. He was alone when I walked up to talk to him. That was because he knew almost nobody yet. And it's probably the last time he was or ever will be alone in a bar in this town!
It took about 5 minutes to decide that he was someone I really wanted for a friend. Meeting him that night is a big part of the reason that I'm still here.If he, and a few others, had not made me feel welcome that night, I'd have probably bounced off the community and would be back to living a hermit's life. Meeting Kurt is what convinced me that I could make new friends and be accepted.
Only 6 months later, Kurt was Mr. San Diego Leather 2011. By then, I knew all the contests and considered them my friends, so it was a bittersweet thing to see. Kurt was still pretty new in town, and while at that point he may not have done as much for the community as some of the other contestants who had been local leathermen for much longer, it was evidently clear to the judges that he was going to be a star. And it's now clear to everyone that he is an outstanding representative for the community!
It speaks to his commitment and character that Kurt has maintained an insane public schedule for the last 14 months as Mr. San Diego Leather, while dealing with personal and professional challenges that would have made most people withdraw. But Kurt is at his best when helping others and giving to the community that knows and loves him!
And that's why he's my hero!

From: boy kirk

I do not know you and can only send some words...but they are honest and real, so I hope they offer some solace.
It's said that once you step on stage you have already won...it some ways that is true, you have garnered admiration from everyone there, ESPECIALLY those who were in the title run with you...NEVER FORGET THAT!
To me that meant more than anything else...and what you have in your heart now and soul is more than any medal can bring...I kid you not.
There is never any failure in doing something, there is failure in not doing...YOU have accomplished more than many by doing what you have done...
My hearty congrats to you bro...YOU ARE THE BEST, just take time to feel it inside!

From: Scott

Only someone who has gone to IML as a contestant, understands what it's like, the excitement, the fear, the bonds that develops between the contestants.
Just participating is amazing.

From: Mark

Hey, Tony....I wrote Kurt a private note and let him know just how proud I was of him and his service. His answer let me know just what kind of a man he is. Just to be there onstage at IML is an amazing accomplishment and a testament to his efforts....ever man up there could be the one, and I have little doubt there were great differences in their total scores. Was great seeing him there during the introduction and how great a time he was having.

From: Raymond

Here Here
Let's have a big party when he returns and we can all give our love.
Tony, please send him not only my deep thanks for all he does but because he's one of the "Brothers Keepers...". Titles come and ago, I just hope he can find the Joy he gave to so many by doing his part.

From: Michelle

Thank you, Papa Tony. L♥ve & Hugs to you, Kurt. Thank you for just being you and also for being a wonderful Mr. San Diego Leather as well as representing San Diego at IML. Thank you. I am looking forward to seeing you when you get back. Breathe and hydrate and have fun. Just like you were doing before the IML weekend began. You are not a former titleholder. You are still, and always will be, Kurt - Mr. San Diego Leather 2011. See you soon. Safe travels.

From: Wish Linda

Thank you for posting this. Kurt is amazing. I've already shared my words with him.

From: Aaron

Kurt, I don't know you, but I do know what it takes to volunteer and serve your community. It is a tireless, thankless job that many of its rewards are felt on the inside rather than expressed on the outside. Thank you for all you have done for the San Diego leather and fetish community and being an ambassador throughout the world for the service and quality of the San Diego community.

From: Kelly

Mr. Kurt. I know that I have been blessed with knowing you from the various organizations that we are in. I know that I do not know you on a more personal level as a closer friend, but I do know that so many here including myself have been blessed since you moved here to San Diego. I know what a title holder can go through and how much it cost, not just in the wallet. You have always held my admiration and have my support and hand if needed, remember that. You are a very special and awesome man.

Luke

Kurt, you're a wonderful man and one who doesn't need a title to do the things he wants. Don't give up; keep going and do what is in your heart!

Nick

We are so excited to get you back to San Diego and share what you learned on this journey. This must have been an amazing experience to meet with so many leather men from around the country and the world. The fellowship alone should give you great stories to tell and ideas that benefit us here in SD.

From: Donald

Kurt is a Amazing Wonderful Passionate Guy. He puts the needs of others before his own and is the first person to make the newbie feel welcome. I have met him at a couple events and when he sees you he's there with open arms and a big smile. San Diego is a better place because Kurt is here with us.

From: Rob

Kurt is awesome.

From: John

Kurt, you impressed me brilliantly when I met you in Pistons (I was one of the male judges - that oughta do it). Thank you for the work you do representing good leathermen everywhere you go. Winning contests and, indeed, winning titles is not necessary but should be fun. Have some fun and come home a winner in all our eyes.

From: David

A sash is not required to confirm greatness. Kurt will always be a great man and dear to the hearts of those that know and love him.

Review of Underwear Party and Contest

On Saturday, May 26, I attended the Underwear Party and Contest at the San Diego Eagle, which occurs on the fourth Saturday of each month. I was very pleasantly surprised at how CROWDED it got by the time the event was in full swing. My slave told me he had to walk sideways to get from the St. Andrew's Cross to the bar for more drinks.

The best part about the event was how friendly it was - there was a jolly roar of camaraderie at all times, and everybody CLUMPED together, instead of being scattered, isolated and lonely.

Local superstar flogger Sebastian was at his prime that night - he was putting on quite a show. There was an eager line-up of men wanting to see what being flogged was all about. Sebastian has it all - Style, intuitive assessment from moment to moment, technique... and he's a hot, hot man.

Eli was very busy working the crowd, talking everybody into shucking their gear and stripping down to their underwear. Many men are shy about this at first, but soon grow very comfortable and confident when they get a lot of unexpected, pleasing attention.

Soon, it was time for the underwear contest. There were six contestants, and Eli soon had them talking to the crowd and doing calisthenics. Eli tells me:

There were a lot of out-of-towners visiting, and they seemed very happy - It was a great mix. It was nice to have a nice variety of men of different ages in the contest. Gar’ron, the man with the collar, won the $100 prize, and the runner-up won $25.

I loved to watch Eli being Master of Ceremonies. He is utterly comfortable in the role, and he has a way of grabbing the crowd's attention. I turned into a pumpkin at midnight and had to head home, but the party was still in full swing as I was leaving.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Special Request on Behalf of Kurt

If you know, love and respect Kurt, reply to this message and say so, in nice, long, clear sentences. I'll pass them along to him.

Mr. San Diego Leather 2011 Kurt has been in Chicago this weekend, competing for the title of International Mr. Leather.

He sent me this today:

I am in a wonderful space. I'm enjoying an incredible IML with 48 new brothers and having the experience of a lifetime. My Journey is to be continued at home in San Diego. The outpouring of love and suport from everyone is cherished more than anything I could imagine. My work is far from finished, only this moment of a weekend and contest is over.

Here he is in Chicago this weekend:

He hasn't been doing it for personal glory. Not at all. He's simply not that kind of guy.

So, what kind of guy is he?

He told me (privately) last weekend that he has spent approximately $8,000 out of his own pocket in the last year, just as a result of being a super-effective representative of our community. Nobody asked him to, and nobody is holding a gun to his head. He can't help being this way. He has traveled to many cities, helping with charity events, emceeing, judging and tallying results at titleholder contests, building friendships between San Diego and many other places, and CONSTANTLY helping out at as many events in San Diego as his schedule (and budget) have allowed. For the last year or so, he has been a blur on the landscape, spending half an hour at an event to show goodwill, and then racing off to the next one, regardless of whether it directly helped the leathermen's community - He has reached out to ALL parts of the community. Each time he does it, the level of Civilization rises in the world.

So, what kind of idealistic idiot would do such a thing?

Any logical, self-centered person would have no respect for somebody who has worn himself down to a nubbin just to make the larger community a better place. However, somebody who has a lot of love to share can understand. Kurt does it because he has a big, big heart.

A year or so ago, I asked Kurt to take the Myers-Briggs personality test, which describes our "wiring" - the traits in us individually that are unchangeable. His results showed that he is a rare kind of man (less than two percent of adult males share his personality type). Here is a quote, and it absolutely describes our Kurt:

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

San Diego is blessed with a LOT of such rare, blessed men in our ranks of volunteers, leaders and titleholders. That is why we have been going through a Golden Age, and it continues along, accelerating as we proceed.

It's not random, and it's not an accident that folks like Kurt, Bryan & Mike, Eli, Nicholas, Dutch, Aaron, Adam, Anthony R. and Anthony O, Kane, David, Sam, Ray, Timothy, Michael, Mike, Bill, Daddy Don, Tom, Dan, Ray, Daniel, Everardo, Brian, Russ, Preston, Dizzy, Wayne, Cody, Will, Pup, Roadkill, Aaron, Chris, Spike, Hector, Britt, Pup Beep, Jesse, Chip, Chris, Bob, Ned, Dangelo, Sister Ida and Ian (just to name a few, off of the top of my head, and with a special shout-out to local champion Karen Yew) are showing up, setting the tone, and building a local culture of peace, friendship and abundance. If I forgot to mention your name, please forgive a forgetful old man, but tell me so that I will remember in the future.

We're all giving other agreement that being a good man, with virtues and values (versus "screw you, I've got mine" philosophy) is the best way to build a true community.

Every time that somebody like Kurt shows up, it is crucial that the rest of us give him an unambiguous message that he is loved and treasured. He's not doing it for personal glory, or to get rich, or to get laid (though I hope that he gets laid a LOT). He is being our champion, and men like him are a treasure worth acknowledging.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Upcoming Events

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Kurt's Fiesta of Love

Review of Underwear Party and Contest

Monday, May 28, 2012

Special Request on Behalf of Kurt

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Upcoming Events