Yellow Hanky Night Is Now Hosted By Preston

San Diego's own Preston Steel is now officially hosting Yellow Hanky Night on the first and third Thursday of each month, 9PM-midnight at the San Diego Eagle.  

If you don't know him yet, allow me to introduce him:

Preston Steel has been a name in the adult entertainment industry for a while, and he has reached a point in his life where he wants to contribute to the community in Activist Mode.  I can name a dozen or so men who have done the same thing, and quite successfully. 

In the last few months, he has been volunteering EVERYWHERE, and always impeccably.  You can easily spot the guys who are truly community-oriented - They always show up early, work hard, attend to every detail, and leave late. Preston is that kind of man.

Preston's self-introduction to the larger community came when he ran for Mr. San Diego Eagle recently. His speech was a knockout, and his warmth and authenticity on stage impressed everybody I spoke to that night.  There is a reason why the vote from the judges that night was so close. He is the real deal.

I asked Preston to tell us why he is so enthusiastic about hosting Yellow Hanky Night, and here is what he said:

The Yellow Hanky Social is a place where everyone can come and enjoy an awesome bar with an amazing group of people. It's where everyone is welcome, and you can let your freak flag fly, especially if it is yellow!  

What I really enjoy about this night is we have a beverage bust (which is SWEET) and it is a place where a group of people can come together who all have a love for all that is Yellow Hanky related. 

If you haven't been to this night I HIGHLY suggest checking it out, We have a lot of new stuff in the works to help amp up and make the Yellow Hanky Social an even better event. Come check us out and enjoy an amazing night... make some new friends and remember FLAG YELLOW!! 

Review Of Eli's Potluck Social

On Sunday, May 6, Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli hosted his first Potluck Social. The event reached full capacity, first time out:

As I commented to Eli, folks tend to vote with their feet - If they don't believe in something, they would certainly stay away, particularly on such a pretty Sunday afternoon. 

In this case, there was a huge turnout , with every seat taken, and way too much food!  This tells me that Eli has been earning his excellent reputation the right way, over and over, and that he has huge credibility with folks in many cities. If I'm in another city, and ask somebody "You know Eli, right?" they always immediately fire back "Of course!"

I'm in nearly daily communication with Eli, and he never, ever stops planning for how he is going to attend the maximum number of events in as many cities as possible. He feels that a titleholder's highest calling is to be an ambassador of good-will. Given that he is grossly underemployed, I don't know how he does it all.

It was a great, non-alcohol-oriented event that kept up a constant roar of delightedly happy chatter at all times. This made it very easy for me to sign up more new guys for the FMSD list. Several of them were new to San Diego. When they saw how comfortable, amiable and mellow everyone was with each other, they couldn't wait to find out more!

Eli also helped raise some more money for Mr. San Diego Leather 2011 Kurt's travel fund.

TC (on the left in the blue shirt) contributed lots of leather items for the raffle, and Ray (in the tan sleeveless shirt) donated some gorgeous artworks. Kurt (in the center) will be traveling to Chicago to compete for the title of International Mr. Leather 2012 at the end of the month with a few more bucks to help him along his way!

I'm particularly pleased with this photo. I took it on the spur of the moment, but it made me pause and look closer, later on. In San Diego, we are greatly blessed with younger men who are very active and involved in making our town a better place, and they are rewarded with a huge, loving support-team. The picture shows men who are serenely comfortable with each other. I can easily imagine these men being good friends for the rest of their lives!

Many thanks to Eli for throwing this together. He sweated bullets for weeks, coordinating volunteers and raffle-items, and making sure that there weren't 23 variations of bean salad on the table! He is learning from every event that he hosts, and we all benefit as a result.

Lube Review, and More Event Info

Having been around a long time, I like to see new, useful things show up. I tried out a sample of the new "9x6" silicone lubricant recently.

I don't like silicone lubricants, unless I'm removing a squeak from the hinges on my front gate.  They tend to stain the sheets p-e-r-m-a-n-e-n-t-l-y.  The newer "hybrid" lubes (half water-based and half silicone) make my throat seize up, and I gag uncontrollably if any gets in my mouth. Not a pleasure-enhancing experience. So, I tend to buy water-based lube in the gallon jug with the Party Pump, year after year.

I recently attended STUD Night at the Eagle, when Michael Brandon was there to promote his new product called "9x6" silicone lubricant. When he claimed that it did not stain, I was dubious. When he handed out samples, I seized one and immediately put some on my hand. I was impressed with the slickness, and it seemed like a great product. Then, I went into the men's room at the bar and washed my hands. It came off pretty quickly and cleanly with soap and cold water.

Then, later on, I tested it properly, deeply and thoroughly at home with helpful volunteers. Works great. Very nice, and no gagging.  Now, for the ultimate test:

I dumped some on the crotch of a pair of old cotton shorts.  Then, I threw them in with a regular load of laundry, with no special treatment at all.  As you can see from the photos, there is no trace of the silicone once the shorts came out of the dryer. I'm quite satisfied, and can recommend it.

I remember when the first dedicated, water-based sexual lubricants came out. They were a sensation. Up to that point, we were using K-Y jelly (which dries out at the worst times), Vaseline (never one of my favorites), or Crisco (stinks, and stains). I remember when the supermarket in Hillcrest rationed Crisco to one can per customer on the weekends.

I think I'm finally ready to switch to silicone.  I plan to pick some up this Thursday.

Upcoming Events

Fri, May 4, 7-9PM;  SDLOG educational event. First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Center, by the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University. SEX ON THE CHEAP, or how to get kinky without breaking the bank!  Presented by Jeff Breeze

Sat. May 5, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers. $5 before 10PM. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews.

Sun. May 6, 1-4PM: Eli's Pot Luck Social

Sun. May 6, 5PM, CIGARS & BOOTS on the patio at Redwing. First Sun. of each month. Wear whatever gear makes you feel extra-sexy!  If you like a low-pressure, comfortable event with men that you can relate to, this one is for you. 

Wed. May 9, 6:30-9:30PM (Second Wednesday of each month) - Play games at Dave & Buster's to benefit Toys for Tots.

Thu. May 10 at 9pm till 1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle.  Second Thu. of each month

Fri. May 11, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle; 2nd Fri. of each month. Hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct., February, March, April, June and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.

Sat. May 12, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHT at the Eagle. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.

Wed. May 16, 7-11PM: TNG social event at Bamboo Lounge. TNG stands for "The Next Generation", which is a kinky social group for younger men and women from 18 to 35 years old. This particular event is in the style of a group discussion. Third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. May 16, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS.  Moderated by California LeatherSir 2012 Sam. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. Topic: MEN'S DISCUSSION: HIV and "Magnetic" Relationships

Thu. May 17, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. May 18, 8:30PM-1AM: FRIDAY NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.

Sat. May 19, 9:30PM-2AM: LL Bear Dance Party @ Rich's San Diego. Third Saturday of each month. This one is hosted by the men of CubClub and the music is provided by DJ Shane Stiel. That means that it is guaranteed to be scorchingly hot, based on many past experiences!`

Sat. May 26, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle.  Fourth Sat. of each month. Everyone is invited to strip down to those boxers,  briefs or "street" legal jocks and join in the fun,  you do not have to enter the contest. Although our 1st prize is $100 Cash and 2nd prize is a $25 bar tab., Clothes check opens at 10pm and the contest will be held at midnight. Your evening will be hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012,  Eli.

May 25-28: International Mr. Leather 2012 Contest Weekend in Chicago.

Wed. Jun 6, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS.  Moderated by California LeatherSir 2012 Sam. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. Topic: Aging Gracefully, and Younger/Older Relationships

Wed. Jun 6, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, hosted by Beep and San Diego Puppy Patrol (SDPP). First Wed. of each month.

Thu. Jun 7, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Wed. Jun 20, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS.  Moderated by California LeatherSir 2012 Sam. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. Topic: Staying Connected, Cyber Dating And Social Sites On The Internet

Sat. Jun 23, 9PM-3AM: ANVIL CLUB up in the San Fernando Valley. I give it a rave review here. Upcoming dates include August 24 (Rubber), Oct. 20 (Uniforms) and Dec. 15.

Fri. Jun 29, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as August 31 and Nov. 30th of 2012. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment. I will be there, teaching flogging as usual.

July 20-22: SAN DIEGO LGBT PRIDE, featuring the Leather Realm at the Pride Festival.

Jul 26-29, INTERNATIONAL LEATHER SIR/BOY, INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY BOOT BLACK in San Francisco.

Sunday, July 29: Up Your Alley Street Fair in San Francisco.

Sunday, September 23: Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.

November 8-11: Palm Springs Leather Pride

MEN'S DISCUSSION: Staying Connected, Cyber Dating And Social Sites On The Internet

From California Leather Sir 2012 Sam Fenix:

MEN'S DISCUSSION: Staying Connected, Cyber Dating And Social Sites On The Internet

7-9PM, Wednesday June 20, 2012


Cost: Free of charge, with an entirely optional donation to show appreciation for the use of the space.

In an age where people spend more time on the computer, you has to wonder; can you really develop a strong connection online? Come join us as we discussed what is possible, how to filter some of these people to get what you want, and how the Internet can actually help enhance our lives. Mister Timothy will be sharing and demonstrating his success tips for connecting online.

Past Discussion Topics: Long-Term Relationships, Vanilla/Kink Relationships, Titleholders/Community-oriented, Puppies, Transmen, Racism.

Future Possible Discussion Topics military and veterans, rubber men, boot fetishists, Masters/slaves, Bears,  Know-It-Alls and Newbies, and on and on…

MEN'S DISCUSSION: Aging Gracefully, and Younger/Older Relationships

From California Leather Sir 2012 Sam Fenix:


MEN'S DISCUSSION: Aging Gracefully, and Younger/Older Relationships

7-9PM, Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Cost: Free of charge, with an entirely optional donation to show appreciation for the use of the space.

With so much talk in the community of the younger generation being the future of our community, we tend to forget the older generations. We all grow old, and with advancing age come certain challenges that we didn't face when we were younger.


We will also discuss younger/older relationships, and how well they can work. This discussion is meant to have shed light on the subject on what it’s like to be an older gay male in a culture that is focused on being young.


Past Discussion Topics: Long-Term Relationships, Vanilla/Kink Relationships, Titleholders/Community-oriented, Puppies, Transmen, Racism.

MEN'S DISCUSSION: HIV and "Magnetic" Relationships

From California Leather Sir 2012 Sam Fenix:


MEN'S DISCUSSION: HIV and "Magnetic" Relationships

7-9PM, Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Cost: Free of charge, with an entirely optional donation to show appreciation for the use of the space.

HIV has been in our community for a very long time. But it seems to have some sort of negative stigma behind being HIV-positive, or people tend to ignore that HIV exists. Both views are unhealthy and there needs to be some light shed on the topic. 


There are people in our community that place no stigmas on HIV status, choose to date freely and maintain successful relationships regardless of their status. These relationships are called "magnetic relationships" (positive and negative partners). This kind of couple has been treated similarly to an interracial couple being treated in the 1950s. 


This discussion is targeted towards clarifying and educating people on HIV, and talking about relationships that are safe and fulfilling, regardless of HIV status.

Past Discussion Topics: Long-Term Relationships, Vanilla/Kink Relationships, Titleholders/Community-oriented, Puppies, Transmen, Racism.