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Friday, July 26, 2013

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance
which contains news about ALL known upcoming events. 
Be sure to click on "More Info" to get the best details!

• Short newsletter today, since I'm flying off to San Francisco for the "Up Your Alley Street Fair".  It USED to be called the "Dore Alley Street Fair", which is why us old guys still call it that.

• If I were to be staying in town, I would DEFINITELY be heading out to tonight's special HARNESS Party. See below for details.

• If you volunteered at the Leather Realm this year, please check out Sunday, August 4th's listing below.

• It's NOT too early to start making plans for the International Mr. Leather 2014 contest weekend in Chicago!

LeatherSir Ron says: For those of you who have NOT purchased your tickets for the Mr. San Diego Leather contest weekend... you have one more week remaining for early bird prices before the slight increase.

Dangilo says: Fellas, THANK YOU for coming out to LLBEAR this month...The BEEF have taken the night back!...We go big every 3rd Saturday. August's theme: UNIFORM/MILITARY.

Note from Tony: I was there - It was seriously sizzling, and men in gear are thoroughly in the mix.  My favorite part is how WELL-RUN this event has become since this team has taken over.  San Diego has shifted from a bunch of random and rare events, to a laser-focused epitome of leaders who know what the heck they are doing! I just wish I wasn't so damned old - I turned into a pumpkin long before the hottest part of the night!

Mr. San Diego Leather 2011 Kurt has started up a Support-Group for Caregivers for Elderly Parents @ the Center.

Contestants Wanted for August Titleholder Contest

Recent Articles

Thanks to Jim for passing along this nearly-complete listing of officially-sanctioned events in San Francisco this weekend. They left out the stuff at Stompers Boots, so I've included that here.

New, Inexpensive and SUPERB Toy - The Tommy Tomcat - I got proactive and had a new, affordable toy manufactured for your pleasure. The article includes instructional videos and tips.

The audio from Wednesday's excellent "Safe, Sane and NON-Consensual" presentation has now been posted online. Many thanks to Cris for organizing it, Liat for sharing his wisdom and experience, Gabriel for inviting us to be a part of the Stonewall Citizen's patrol, and to Damian for editing-down the audio.

Thanks to Jon for passing along this hilarious commercial.

Upcoming Events

Friday, July 26, 10PM: For all you fellas that can't make it to Dore Alley this year, we are doing a special edition Harness night @ Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd. Join our Hosts Robb Rodd (Mr San Diego Eagle 2013) and Porn Producer & International Party Boy, Steve Pena for a "in public" themed night of debauchery. To add an extra layer of sex; Jeremy Stevens, will be working the boxes and stalls on stage. DJ Ryno will be pumping the beats. Volgur special edition shirts will be available for purchase. Door by Matt Walker, and 2 for 1 entry if you jump on our box and make out with your cohort in front of everyone upon entry. Who's ready for some fun?

Sunday, July 28, 11am to 6pmUp Your Alley Street Fair in San Francisco. There will be a group of San Diegans traveling together. Here are my Tips for Newbies.

Wednesday, July 31st, 7PM: The Four Phases of Training a Boy, Part Two: FINDING THE BUTTONS, hosted by Papa Tony. Here is the audio from Part 1, Establishing Trust.

July 31-August 5: Lazy Bear Weekend in Guerneville, California

Friday, August 2, 7-9pm: The Best Is Yet To Come, presented by Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke @ LGBT Community Center of the Desert in Palm Springs

Saturday, August 3 (first Saturday of each month), 4-7PM: Cigars & Boots at Bourbon Street at 4612 Park Blvd - Relaxed, happy, comfortable, serene. Pure brotherhood. Reviews and pictures are here.

Saturday, August 3, 7-10pm: Party Over Here....Eli's 31st Bday bash

Saturday, August 3 (first Saturday of each month), 10PM: BearNight DanceNumbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd.

Sunday, August 4th noon-7pm: Leather Realm Volunteer Thank You Pool and Play Party

Tuesday, August 6 (first and third Tuesday of each month), 7PM: Hands-On Demos @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way. These are utterly safe, relaxed and sociable opportunities to get better-acquainted with the kinky arts.  All are welcome, at all experience-levels. In fact, we encourage beginners, because we make it okay to be clumsy or unsure. We all have to start somewhere!

Wednesday, August 7th, 7PM: The Four Phases of Training a Boy, Part Three: TRAINING, hosted by Papa Tony. Here is the audio from Part 1, Establishing Trust.

August 9-11Mr. Long Beach Leather 2013 Contest Weekend at the Mine Shaft in Long Beach.

Fri - Greet the Meet @ The BRIT - 8PM
Sat - Contest @ 8PM
Sun - Victory Party @ 3PM

Also a Promo Bar Crawl on Friday, Aug. 2. Leaves the Mineshaft @7PM for several stops around LB and LA - $10.00 Will include Contestants/Judges/MC's and friends out for fun on the town on a precontest weekend bar crawl.

More info to follow on all events.

Wednesday, August 14th, 7PM: The Four Phases of Training a Boy, Part Four: GOING FOR THE GOLD, hosted by Papa Tony. Here is the audio from Part 1, Establishing Trust.

Saturday, August 17, 7:30pm @ Birch North Park TheatreFilmOut presents "FIRST PERIOD" - SAN DIEGO PREMIERE!  Director: Charlie Vaughn. Description: If John Waters were to direct a John Hughes film – this outrageous new comedy would be that film! New girl Cassie (Brandon Alexander III) and school outcast Maggie (Dudley Beene) are easily the most unpopular girls at their high school. Together, they decide the way to win the hearts of cute boys and popular girls is to enter--and win--the annual Talent Show. But rivals Heather (Lauren Rose Lewis), other Heather, and their popular boyfriends Dirk (Michael Turchin) and Brett (Leigh Wakeford) will stop at nothing to keep Cassie and Maggie the laughing stock of the school. It's going to take courage, a make over, and maybe even a rap battle to beat them in true 80s style. With Jack Plotnick, Cassandra Peterson & Judy Tenuta! Running Time: 100 min, Unrated Check out the teaser hereGet tickets here.


Get your tickets EARLY.  Limited space for the events. Details here.

Friday, August 23rd, 12 Noon (tentative): Leather Pride Flag Raising

Friday, August 23rd: All events located at the Victory Theater (Center for the Amusing Arts) at 2558 Imperial Avenue (between 25th and 26th Streets, near Golden Hill):

8 pm - 9:30pm: Meet & Greet
9:30 pm - 9:45 pm: Opening Ceremonies
9:45 pm - 11 pm: Celebrate Wish and Aaron at the Cigar Social, with Hors d'oeuvres and drinks

Saturday, August 24th: all three events located at the Victory Theater:

6 pm - 8:30 pm: Mr and Ms San Diego Leather Contest
8: 30 pm - 9:30 pm: High Leather Cocktails with Tray Service and Cigar Social
9:30 pm: Announcement of Mr and Ms San Diego Leather 2013 winners

Saturday, August 24, 11:00pm until 2:00amGear and Grind Leather Victory Dance (Unofficial, but we're going!) @ Bourbon Street at 4612 Park Blvd.

Sunday, August 25th:

11 am - 1 pm - Victory Brunch @ Urban Mo's Bar & Grill at 308 University Ave in Hillcrest
4PM (tentative): Leather Pride Flag Lowering

Saturday, September 14, 2013, 7:30-10pm  "HOT GUYS WITH GUNS" - San Diego Premiere! @ Birch North Park Theater at 2891 University AvePart time actor and full time waiter Danny (Marc Anthony Samuel), still in love with his ex, rich party boy Pip (Brian McArdle), attends a private eye class in preparation for a cop role for which he is auditioning. But when Pip becomes a robbery victim to the “gay sex party bandits,” the two men – despite their unresolved sexual tension - team up as amateur sleuths to solve the crime. As they delve into Hollywood’s gay power world, guns are shot, bodies drop and the two find themselves in one hot gay mess but remain determined to uncover the culprits. Hot Guys with Guns has a script that pops with gay wit and cultural references (“Cops? I am a black man in east L.A. with a dead Mexican on the floor with no head, we can’t call the cops!” as well as a memorable cast of supporting actors (Joan Ryan as Pip’s needy and boozy mom, Trey McCurley as Pip’s red headed boy toy, Alan Blumenfeld as Jimmy, the hard-nosed P.I. instructor, and Darryl Stephens as a friend with a dark secret.

Sunday, September 29, 11am to 6pm:  Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.  Here are my Tips for Newbies.

San Diego's own Bryan Teague won American Leatherboy in 2010

October 11-13: American Brotherhood Weekend: A Leather Family Reunion in Chicago. Our own Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron will be running for American Leatherman 2013.

November 7-10Palm Springs Leather Pride

Wednesday, Nov. 13, 7PM: Massive Movie Night @ Birch North Park Theater at 2891 University Ave. Tonight's treat: The funniest gay comedy of all time.

Contestants Wanted for August Titleholder Contest

American Leather Boy 2010 Bryan Teague says:

Don't miss the early bird special for your Weekend Tickets $75 until the end of July!   After that ticket prices go up!   Go to  to purchase yours now!

Leather Men and Women of San Diego - The Mr and Ms San Diego Leather 2013 event is looking for candidates for the upcoming leather contest.  If you want to give back to your community, if you want to meet wonderful and hot leather men and women that you may not have met before, if you want to grow and have an amazing, life-changing experience then go to and take a look at the contestant application.  We want you!

The contest will take place here in San Diego the weekend of August 23rd - 25th.  We have a wonderful panel of judges lined up that you will thoroughly enjoy meeting.

They are:
Kim Sontag
Mike Russell - International Leather Sir 2003
Sarha - International Ms Leather 2013
Sir Nicholas
Toni Solenine - Mid Atlantic Leatherwoman 2012

 You will have the opportunity to talk about what is important to you, show your creative side with a fantasy and impress the audience and judges with your hot, leather self.  It is a fun, exhilirating and intense experience!

So, go take a look at the web site and we will see you on stage next month!
Bryan Teague
Romp San Diego - Aug 23-25, 2013
Producer -  ROMP SD
American Leatherboy 2010
Mr San Diego Leather 2009
Mama's Noselicker

Support-Group for Caregivers for Elderly Parents

Note from Tony: Mr. San Diego Leather 2011 Kurt has started up this new initiative, and asked me to pass it along:

Many of us have an aging parent. Over the last several months the topic of aging parents and the issues, stresses and hurdles have been popping up in conversation at parties and social events. I have an 84 yo Mom in Palm Springs I travel back and forth to care for. Many of us are in this 50-60 something "sandwich" generation and charged with caring for an aging parent(s) 75+ years old. Everyone I speak to seems frustrated, stressed, lost, needs help, guidance, support, etc. caring for their aging parent either nearby or long distance.

I also realize there are 50-60 somethings caring for their older partners and also seniors who are caring for one of their same-age senior friends. This new program I am developing will help everyone who is caring for an elderly loved one. As I speak to more people, ideas and needs are flowing.

In response to those casual aging parent/partner/friend discussions, I drafted a proposal for The Center to start a new group called Adults with Aging Parents.

The Center approved this new program and asked me to direct and moderate it. I will get some help from the 50 and Better Senior Services Director at The Center, Our first meeting is at The Center on Wednesday August 7th from 7-9pm in Group Room 2 behind the reception desk. We will meet ongoing the 1st Wednesday of every month same bat-time, same bat-channel. If you are over 50 you will get this reference :-)

This is a group to educate us on what happens to the human body, brain and organic functions as aging occurs, resources for help, speakers to discuss elderly wellness, short and long-term care options, unraveling Medicare, ways to decompress when career and parent responsibilities collide, city/county/state agencies that can help and how to navigate those, how to handle the life change of an aging parent moving in with you/your partner/family, sharing stories and learning what we each have experienced with our own aging parent(s) to help others identify what may be happening with their own parent. Lots of ideas unfolding. Any and all ideas to develop this group and its purpose are welcome. I will likely change the name of this program to include partners and friends.

Please mark your calendars for August 7th at 7PM and also send me topic or speaker ideas and share this email and new group announcement with your friends. I can be reached at kurtwsd AT


Kurt Wendelborg

Leather Realm Volunteer Thank You Pool and Play Party, August 4th noon-7pm

August 4th Volunteer Pool and Play Party. Noon-7pm

RSVP to for the location.

Dear Volunteers and Community Members,
We would like to take this moment to say a huge thank you for EVERYTHING you have done to help make The Leather Realm 2013 a huge success. We have received positive feedback from many people including those walking through and volunteers. Amy even heard someone walking through compare us to Folsom.

We know this list below is not a complete one and we did our best to make sure we included everyone on it. Our sincere apologies if we missed you.

I do not have email addresses or contact info for the following people.  If you happen to have it, Please forward this to them.  Thank you!!!

Eli, Deby L., Ray, Krystal, Eric, Skip, Billy Antiseptic, Summer, Paleo Punk, Colleen Yoon, Don Henderson, Stephanie Ballard
Sebastian, Carlos Santigo, Eric Moore, Markus Prassler

We know you may have already RSVP'd on-line at Fet, Facebook, or to Christi, but please RSVP again with yourself and with names of any guests you are bringing, to so we may have an accurate count to purchase food and drinks.
Bring a dish to share, a towel for the pool, a chair, and your toy bag. This is an adult only party and nudity is allowed. BYOB (play and drink responsibly)

We will have burgers, hot dogs, and drinks on hand. There is a BBQ grill available for other tasty morsels as well.

Thank you, Gracias, Mahalo, danka, Merci,

Ambassadors - Bikkja Amy, spike: Aaron Duke, Alex C, Alex Kitay, Alex W. Allison E, Allison M, Axel, Blu, Bullwhip, Cecilia, Cobi, Crys, Danielle, Duke, Elisabeth B, Ella, Jason, Jon, Kate, Louis, Mark, Michael B. Michael Perry. Michael Perna, Mistress Marry, Mistress Melissa, Olga, Ronin Rakehell, Sabrina, Sadat, Sebastian, Scott, Snowy, Tiara, Vonn, Wish

Doors- Jayden: Aimee, Axel, Bob, Codi, Debra, Holly, Larissa, Miriam, Patrick, PuP, Rebecca,Trevor
Hospitality - Kitten: Puppet, Kevin, Kryket, Lolita, Neko, Zoey, Kuddlez, Miss Mouse
Photography - PG: Craig Alexander, John O’Mara

Production Marcus and Tony

Set up/tear down - Christi: Alex D. Billy, Bob E, Brent E, Cobi, Danielle, Eric, Ian M., Kryket, Krystal,Kuddlez and her Mr.,  Louie Mann, Louis, Lyndsey,  Magnum, Michael K., Ron B. Papa Tony, Patrick, PG, Puppy Tommy, Ray,  Scott,  Sister Ida, Skip

Security - Christi: Deby, Kuddlez, Puppy Tommy.

Vendors/Organizations Cobi: Club X and Go Green- Annette, Brian, Desiree, Karen, Kuddlez, Nathan, Paula, Vinnie ), The Crypt (Colleen and Markus) Dungeon Servitus (Domina Angelina, boy Loren, Billy Antiseptic) Leather Archives (Caryl and AJ), Submissive Voice (Snowy and KittenAnne, Neko) Taboo Leather (Don, Stephanie, ???) The Leather Journal (Dave Rhodes), Chris Weise, Tiffiani A. Jim Compton, Fetish Men San Diego, Poly group (Allison, Ally, Amy T, Angel, Claire, Damon, David R, David F, Heather, Izy, Jason, Jeannine, Kelly, Mark. Sammi)  Leather Foundation (Russ, Julie and Summer) Paleo Punk
Volunteers- Lieke: Brent, Elizabeth P, Heather, Marieka, Kayt, Kitten Anne, Rope Dolly, Sabrina, Travis, Wayne
Workshops-Naria: Aaron Duke (and Eli), Alex Kitay (and Michael P.), Bikkja Amy (and Duke and Cobi) Cobi, Codi, Jason, Louis and Danielle, Mistress Marry (and Christine), Mistress Melissa (and Bullwhip), Naria, Olga (and blu), Pup Phoenix (and his puppies), Travis and Heather. All of the bottoms.

All of the ASL Interpreters Madison, Brittany, Michelle, Rodney, Tania, Fernando
San Diego Pride Daniel, Elizabeth
All of the people who showed up and volunteered to help even when you weren't pre-scheduled. Alex, Sadat, Sebastion.

All of the people who volunteered but could not make it. MD, Queerie Bradshaw, Bri, Andrea S
All of the groups that donated their time, money, donation items. The Eagle, Leather Foundation (Russ), Tiger, Chris Weise Jennifer C. and her Sir. Domina Angelina and boy loren , G Raptors, MAsT MDHL/fs (Jason G and NathanSir) , Olga and Blu, Sister Ida, Tiger, The Crypt  
With Much Appreciation,

The Leather Realm Committee

Party Over Here....Eli's 31st Bday bash, Saturday, August 3, 7-10pm

Note from Tony: Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli is one of my favorite people in the world - He and Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron have represented San Diego as if they were both current International Mr. Leather titleholders. We are greatly blessed, and the good news is, men with just as many qualities are rising up to follow their excellent examples!

Saturday, August 3, 7-10pm @ The Body Alchemist1253 University Ave

Eli says:

Back by popular demand we have Dj Sonido Woofy B spinning some hits to shake your ass to, and stiff cocktails. Come celebrate my birthday before heading over to Bear Night at Numbers. Drinks will be provided, but go fast so feel free to bring drinks and snacks to make the party last.

Leather gear is strongly encouraged, so after we can invade Bear Night at Numbers and show them how we roll. See you all soon...

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Get Your Feet and Legs Measured for Free!

If you're going to be in San Francisco for Dore Alley OR Folsom Street Fair:

Booted men are STRONGLY urged to visit Stompers all weekend during the Street Fairs, because the official guy from either Dehner Boots or Wesco will be doing FREE measurements of legs and feet, and storing the measurements.

Why is this important? Perhaps many of you can buy off-the-shelf boots, and they will fit just fine. However, someday you might want some custom-made, extra-kinky boots, or maybe you have large calves like I do (technically, when calves are this big, they are officially "steers").

You CAN'T get your legs and feet measured in your local boot stores any more. Too much wastage from improper measurements, and no vendor is willing to take on the problems of rejected boots.  When I had my last pair of custom boots made a couple of years ago, we had to go through the self-measurement rigamarole at my house FOUR TIMES, with my boy struggling to do it accurately.  Even so, the first pair delivered didn't fit right.  What a mess.

It's a great idea to get the danged measurements DONE and finished. Your numbers are then stored at Dehner or Wesco headquarters.  It's free, as opposed to having to buy a $99 home measurement kit (refunded with purchase of custom boots).

The Stompers patio party is from noon to six on Sunday during the Street Fair. Don't bother trying to get in without wearing boots!

New, Inexpensive and SUPERB Toy - The Tommy Tomcat

Disclaimer from Papa Tony: 
My motives are pure, idealistic and brotherly.

I have been a heavy player for a long, long time. I have my biases, like anybody else. Since FetishMenSanDiego has come into being since June 2010, the local play-scene has included a LOT of "impact play", because that is what I teach (at least three or four days a week sometimes), and enjoy the most, personally.

I've written earlier articles about inexpensive toys.  We are currently enduring a terrible economy, and most of us generally aren't made out of money.  If it's a choice between an expensive toy and groceries, groceries always win. I like to help to avoid such choices.

I want my brothers and sisters in the kink community to enjoy the benefits of a nice, fat toy-bag, with the knowledge to USE the toys in their collection. 

So, I took some initiative, and got the ball rolling on something wonderful.

I have worked with Steve at to assemble a delightful toy which may be new to most folks. It's called a "Tomcat" - a cross between a blacksnake whip and a Cat-O-Nine-Tails:

- It's an intermediate-level toy… Not as extremely "sting-y" as a singletail whip, and not as "thuddy" as a mop flogger.  

- It leaves marks, but not unless you really work at it with intentionality. It does NOT break the skin. It would make a great prop for filming a pirate movie, since it doesn't really damage anything much. Looks impressive as hell, though.

- It's for the submissive who simply isn't getting enough stimulation from pure "thud".

I have seen Tomcats like this selling for as much as $430 online. I've owned one for about fifteen years, and it is a source of joy for all concerned. The one from sells for $49.95!  Quite a discount.

So, what does the missing $390.05 pay for?

The more-expensive Tomcat that I've owned since around 1998 has a tighter weave, a more delicate feel, and more-polished finishing.  However, neither old or new throws any better, impacts any differently, or satisfies even one percent differently.  I'm delighted with both the old and the new Tomcats, equally. I have signed-off on the new one's design and manufacture. I have tested the hell out of the prototype, and have loaned it out to my most esteemed heavy-player buddies. They hate to hand it back.

It's a winner!

I have one of the new Tomcats in my possession, and have taken it through several steps:


I have flexed it (and urged eager submissives to do it for me as well), so that it is silky-smooth in its delivery.  There are plenty of websites and authoritative Tops making firm, declarative statements telling you that intentionally flexing a toy to break it in is the worst kind of transgression.

I call bullshit.

After 37+ years in the hardcore kink scene, I have YET to see a whip, flogger or other toy explode into fragments, crumble into powder or snap off of a handle due to being flexed, early in its life. I have played with literally thousands of people, and have visited several hundred dungeons since 1977.

My reason for flexing a toy as soon as I get it is to get it to THROW ACCURATELY.  Handmade leather toys like this one have a natural curve.  Some folks like to "adapt" to the toy's idiosyncrasies.  Fine. They are welcome to do so.

I prefer to pick up a toy and have it adapt to ME. I despise having a toy suddenly YANK into a new, unpredictable direction due to the leather being tighter in one direction. Clipping the edge of a submissive's ear (when you were aiming for the shoulder-blades) is rude.

So, here is how I flex it (or get a submissive to flex it, to gain Boy Points):

If given a choice, I like to go to a non-leather gay bar - say, a twinkie video-bar, or a piano bar.  I will stand idly chatting with friendly people while flex-flex-flexing a whip, and they won't hear a single word that I'm saying - their brains will be 100% filled with thoughts like "What is he going to DO with that thing?"  It's the bratty sadist in me.

When the toy is flexible and floppy in all directions like a dead snake, it's just right.

Learning & Practicing

You don't need a diploma in Whipology to be popular with a toy like this.  You just have to know a few things:

Practice with a pillow.  Get familiar with your new tool. Set it up in the way that I demonstrate with the pillows and the chest of drawers in the video. Put on your headphones, listen to an audiobook or some rocking' music and take your logical mind out of the equation.  To master a tool, it has to become automatic in its use, and only practice can do this for you. Lots of practice. No such thing as too much practice.

Once you have figured out how to fire off your new Tomcat accurately, striking within a VERY small area that you aim for, time after time after time, then be sure to review some great online tips on proper use of floggers and whips. The Internet is full of them.

Here are a couple of videos that demonstrate how I like to use a Tomcat while the submissive is:

- Laying flat. or

- Standing up.

THEN, if you live near San Diego, ask me directly for any final tips on polishing of technique. I'm a coach by nature.

Sunday, July 27, 2014: Papa Tony demonstrates the Tommy Tomcat, during Dore Alley Street Fair 2014, at Mister S Leather.  It is more intense than a flogger, but not as intense as a singletail whip.  I get mine here.  More detailed instructional videos, here.

The gentleman had specifically requested marks upon his back, and the results can be seen here. I was "painting" his back with the Tomcat.  Afterward, he was very grateful.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Social Column

We are SO Blessed

We have a LARGE number of folks who have been stepping up, now that I have announced that I am stepping further back.  Here is the audio from the recent discussion that introduced our newest leaders.

Things are expected to get very interesting, starting September 1st, 2013!

Recent Articles

Reviews of SD Pride 2013

Reviews of Cigars & Boots Event

Pride Festival 2013: Photos by Frank Lechner on Facebook.

A Small Town Boy - Fetish Coming-Out Stories

All-American Boy - a ridiculously viral new country-western new song.

"Just take it bitch" – Silly things new Dominants say...

How to Train a Boy, Part 1: "Establishing Intimacy, and Trust with a Capital T" - Audio lecture and discussion from Wednesday, July 17, 2013.  One of the very best topics of our group's history.

FMSD's Statement of Intent - Updated for 2013 and beyond!

"Safe, Sane and NON-Consensual" Presentation, Wednesday, July 24th

Next Movie Night - Best Gay Comedy EVER, Wednesday, Nov. 13.

 Kimpton Hotels REALLY wants our business at Dore Alley and Folsom Street Fair.

Note from Tony: Any business that actively seeks us out, and courts our business deserves an extra look.

Stay & Play with Kimpton This Year

San Francisco is known for many things and fortunately hosting Up Your Alley and the
Folsom Street Fair are two of them. This Summer we hope you'll spend the playful,
fun filled days living it up at the fair in the new gear you've been saving to wear all year.
Then head over to finish off your exotic nights with us, unwinding and letting your real wild side show.

We're offering 20% off at a select few of our hotels that are geared up just for those
planning to un-harness their inhibitions and indulge at the festival.

Reviews of SD Pride 2013

Note from Tony:  We are crowdsourcing this article. Expect lots more of that as time goes by.  It's time for more voices, perspectives and insights to be brought forward!

This was the largest Leather/Fetish Contingent in the history of San Diego Pride.  Next, year, it will be much, much vaster.  It will the largest contingent in our history, period!  More about this later on…

Watch the video of the Leather/Fetish Contingent for San Diego Pride 2013

Slide show of Scott Smith's photos...

James talks about Pride 2013

Brian F

Here's some thoughts for you about how pride was for me.  To start off it was the first SD pride I'd been to so I didn't know quite what to expect. I figured it'd be bigger than pride in Ohio for sure (it was) but other than that I had no idea.

Brett and I had been talking about the idea of him walking me in the parade on a leash for some time, and the week before pride we decided to go for it. I'm very happy we did. Brett got a chain leash and we both bought some sexy leather shorts so we would look our best. When we got to the parade there was a little confusion in the staging area about where we were supposed to be but Wish got us all organized and it went really smoothly.

Once we left the staging area and actually started down the parade, the crowds watching us gave me the Fear for a moment, as it become very clear all of the sudden in my head that this was the most public expression I had made of myself in a fetish context.  The enthusiasm from the crowd, and the excitement for our contingent specifically quickly melted away that fear and I was my confident authentic self, having a hell of a good time.  At one point a woman came out into the street and gave Brett and I a big hug and told us that we rocked for what we were doing. A few times along the parade line Brett pulled me in by the leash for a kiss, to raucous applause from the crowd.

I was really struck by the major support we were getting even from groups that I wouldn't expect to understand the leather context, like teenage girls for instance. It was like they could tell that what we were doing and what we were was important, even if they didn't understand it, and they cheered their hearts out for us. That really drove home for me that when we carry ourselves with strength, joy, and unashamed self expression it speaks loudly at a really fundamental level. The whole experience was deeply fulfilling and I'm greatly looking forward to being a part of it next year when we ramp up the volume even more.

I'm glad we have visionaries like you who can see the power of these types of events and push us to fill them with greatness.  You understand more than I that the payoff is huge.

Looking forward to hearing what other people have to share about their pride experiences as well.

Woofs and bearhugs,


Ian D

My experience  with our leather brothers and sisters at San Diego LGBT Pride began at 7:00 a.m. on Saturday, July 13  as I was walking my dog through the staging area. The parade contingent coordinators:  Wish Linda, Robb Rodd, truck-owner Derek Thunderchild and Robb’s handsome fiancĂ© Scott Parman were all up bright and early putting the finishing touches on the Eagle float. Then, around 8:30, I joined my buddy  Jim Neff at Robb’s pre-parade social, where we got to meet some of our out of town leather folks and connect with some locals as well. His front window was its own little Leather Pride parade!

Making our way over to the leather contingent and Eagle float was a great time as we were warmly greeted by a good-looking, warm and deliciously salty brothers & sisters! From our frisky pups, Eagle bartenders, FMSD brothers, and past and current titleholders, everyone was projecting pure love and pride. It was the perfect loving, complementary and enjoyably “cruisey”  vibe as we connected with our regular crew, folks we hadn’t seen in a while and new friends. Photos and smiles abounded.

The only bad thing about The Leather Realm was that I didn’t get to spend much time there!!! From my occasional visits, I saw nothing but good times and VERY interested attendees – and lots of both. I was thrilled to see that the educational presentations were standing-room-only when I walked by. I also got to play ambassador for a minute and introduce some friends from different local clubs, which alsways makes me happy.

Sunday night always comes too soon, but it was very heartening to see the amazing turn-out for the Leather Realm tear-down. I helped a bit with table and chair breakdown at the beginning and then went to put my pick-up truck in line to transport crosses and other stuff back to Bikkja Amy, Cobi & Tina’s place. I was AMAZED that by 9:15 p.m., when I got back down to the realm, all the work was done for the breakdown. The process was such a well-oiled machine!

For anyone who hung at the sidelines (like I did last year), my suggestion for next year is to JUMP IN! You will be rewarded with friendship, affirmation and a great sense of Pride for being part of this amazing weekend.


Thank you to all the Fetishmen who came out to the Leather Realm this weekend! It was great to see folks sitting at the booth talking to the new guys. Thanks to Aaron Duke for working as an Ambassador all weekend and teaching classes. Thanks to Eli for helping with the demo. Thanks to Papa Tony for your support and helping to rally the troops. 

I especially appreciate all of you (esp. Ian Morton), who came out to help set up and tear down. Thanks to the guys who kept their word, showed up and helped put on this amazing COMMUNITY event. We had over 10,000 people come through this year and I expect we'll be seeing a good number of them at our upcoming events! Much love and gratitude to all who participated!

There is a volunteer Pool and Play Party on August 4th from 12-7 p.m. Unfortunately we do not have email addresses for all those who volunteered. If you would like to attend please contact papatony AT mac DOT com to RSVP or for more info.


What an amazing Pride weekend surrounded by my FMSD tribe and the extended tribes of Club X, Avatar Los Angeles and so many others. Marching in the parade was incredible. I think we were all overwhelmed with the response, and marching with the Title holders and the Eagle float just added to the spirit. The solid cheering all the way to the park  put a thick coating of icing on that cake. 

The mood and spirit that surrounded the Leather Realm inside the pride grounds at Balboa Park was even more amazing. It was like a family reunion, with old friends and new friends dancing and interacting within the tribal grounds. All the volunteers and the guests were flowing with playfulness and an openness i had not seen in the realm before at this level of intensity. Flogging, spanking, electro, and warm embraces were freely given and explored. The playfulness was inspiring and all were caught up the spirit. 

The crowd was so willing to receive and to learn and we were all so excited to give and to teach that we all ended up both teachers and students. For lack of any other words it was sensually joyful!  

I am still taking in, absorbing, and sorting through all I experienced this weekend. I am a blissful, happy flogger and a leveled up spanker who is in awe of the growth leap the tribe around me took. Well done all !!!


I have been sitting here all morning trying to recap this weekend. It is difficult to put into words what I am feeling. My heart is full.

The best part of San Diego is the PEOPLE!

Parade: A truly wonderful experience. It was amazing to see the men and women from around California that came to celebrate with us. This was the largest leather contingent in San Diego history. ...There was so much laughing, hugging, and playfulness happening and everyone took part in our joyful celebration.

The Leather Realm: How many cities can say that they produce a leather event during their pride festival that has approximately 12, 000 attendees? Many thanks to the Leather Realm committee and the Club X volunteers for their service. It is truly magical when gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (I apologize if I left anyone out) can work together to bring an event of this magnitude to the general population.

Fetish Men San Diego: WOW! Thank you guys for stepping up to the plate and helping with the set-up and tear-down of The Leather Realm.

Reviews of Cigars & Boots Event


I had so much fun at Cigars and Boots at Bourbon Street on Saturday.  There was a nice crowd of folks enjoying drinks and lighting up cigars and pipes.  (The place smelled amazing and I was in smoky heaven!)  Wish Linda was there raise money for Leather Cares Help Fund.  She brought along a whole crew of volunteers and bootblacks that donated their time (and their tips) to raise money for this worthy cause that helps those in our community who are in need.

It's an amazing thing to be a part of The Leather/Fetish Community in San Diego!  I love to spend time with my brothers from FMSD, but am also thrilled to have had such a fantastic time socializing with members from the other groups that exist in our broader community.

I got some excellent care on my boots from someone who was bootblacking publicly for the first time.  She kept me entertained and did a great job prepping my boots for SD Pride.  I also got to see the bootblacks chocolate cake ritual which was really hot and so fun to watch!   Thanks to everyone's generosity, $324 was raised.

Great folks, refreshing beverages, chocolate cake, and lots of tobacco smoke wafting through the air.  I left a very happy boy!


From the link on the FMSD Calendar: Cigars & Boots: First Saturday of every month, 4-7PM: CIGARS & BOOTS.  Bourbon Street, at 4612 Park Blvd is our new host bar. Once the kitchen is open, the full menu is available as well as a half price menu of selected items.

The Cigars & Boots social last Saturday, 6 July 2013, was much more than I had expected based on my previous attendance and experience. I assumed the attendance would be about like it was the last time I went ... a dozen or so. Happily, my expectations were far surpassed.

When I arrived there were at least 20 people there. Many I know and recognize from the FMSD Men's Discussions and previous Cigars & Boots events. There were also several people from Club X. There were people double and tripple lining the bar, facing out into the courtyard, and facing in to chat with whom they were near. People would move from sitting at the tables to standing and talking and others would go sit at the tables and chat.

I was also happy to see at least half of the people enjoying a cigar. Laughter punctuated the din of conversation. Conversation with others was disarmingly easy. I was approached several times and when I approached a coule or a group I felt, and was, comfortably welcomed in to listen and chat.

Others arrived and the attendance grew to at least 30 people. Five bootblacks were on-duty and busy the entire duration of the event. I positioned myself so I could see the transformation of the boots and was thoroughly impressed each time. The process is not quick and it is captivating, and calming, to watch. I kept thinking "OK, that's about as good as it's going to get and he, or she, will move on to the other boot" and I'd be wrong each time. Skill, talent, knowledge and experience blend to produce results that are better than showroom fresh.

Cobi and Robb

I would like to thank Gary Jacobs for introducing me to Cobi. My boots look GREAT now because of the bootblacking service Cobi provided! That was my first experience with a bootblack and I now have a tantalizing glimmer of what the attraction is for the person wearing the boots. Not only is it great to entrust the care of the boot to someone with far more experience that I have, it is also great to be on the receiving end of focused attention that feels good in several places, several times, and the end result is better than I know how to achieve.

A raffle was held to benefit the Leather Foundation Help Fund. I lost track of how many prizes were handed out after Wish Linda gave out the fifth one. The gift certificates for goods or services all sounded great to me.

Then Wish Linda introduced all of the bootblacks and the spoke about how bootblacks are recognized and rewarded with a food item. Unfortunately, no utensils were available other than the spatula that was used to cut and serve the cake. Because their skilled hands have soap, conditioner and polish all over them, it would not be wise to let them eat with their hands. We were treated to see how the giving and serving nature of skilled bootblacks is shared between and among themselves. Cake was enjoyed by all -- hands free.

If you are considering "checking it out" please know you do not have to smoke a cigar or any other tobacco item. A few people smoke cigarettes and I saw two gentle-leathermen enjoying pipes. Many did not smoke anything and there is sufficient breeze to carry away the expelled smoke. Gear is encouraged and welcomed and you'll not be shunned if you don't wear any.

That's what I have to say about my experience at this Cigars & Boots event in addition to I am looking forward to next time.


Next Movie Night - Best Gay Comedy EVER, Nov. 13

Here is my previous posting on this same topic. Check the video clip for a taste!

On Wednesday, November 13th at 7PM, we will be doing another Massive Movie Night @the Birch North Park Theater at 2891 University Ave. Warner Brothers has confirmed that we will be enjoying the funniest classic gay comedy of all time - The Ritz.  If you have never seen it, you will wonder why it hasn't been as celebrated as Some Like It Hot (AFA's "greatest American comedy film of all time") or Airplane!

American audiences simply weren't ready for a gay-positive movie in 1976.  It was ahead of its time, but we can enjoy it together, the way that it was meant to be - among hundreds of equally-delighted gay men in a big theater!

For years to come, you will be quoting the best lines, and there are a lot of them!

You really, really don't want to miss this experience. Bring your friends, hoot and holler, enjoy the Gear Contest and Group Photo (after all, they ARE an FMSD tradition), and laugh your ass off!