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Friday, June 28, 2013

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance
which contains news about ALL known upcoming events. 
Be sure to click on "More Info" to get the best details!


It's July Fourth Holiday Season this next week

So things are going to go a bit sideways with family in town, or heading out of town ourselves. The Hands-On Demos and Men's Discussion WILL be happening this next week.  They won't be as grandiose and dynamic as originally planned, but they are well-loved events that folks look forward to.



Pride Weekend Coming Up

Things get really SNAPPY, starting the week afterward!  It's going to be San Diego Pride Week, so we are going to be swamped with parties everywhere, the Leather Realm will be in full force, with a BIG, combined Leather Contingent in the Parade, and out-of-towners acting VERY single. Big play-party, too.

We have an enormous amount of reasons to feel great community pride.  We will be quite scattered, though - I never encourage people to host social occasions during Pride Week, because there are so many, many conflicting events. That's why there are never thousands of leatherfolk in the parade - Too many of us are being yanked in every direction by every other kind of group that we support.

It's a great problem to have!



Up Your Alley Festival Coming in Late July

This is the gay men's subset of the Folsom Street Fair.  If you would like to share lodging, attend parties, or pal around with other San Diegans during the course of the weekend, drop me a line at papatony @ mac.com - I give a really good South of Market District Shopping Tour.  Here are some tips for newbies that may do you some good.


Recent Articles

FetishMenSanDiego Will Be Changing - Papa Tony is making room for new leadership

SWATHED IN ROBES OF GLORY: Marriage Rally in Hillcrest 2013-06-26

Leather Pride Flag to Fly During San Diego Leather Pride Weekend Every Year

Essentia Floggers: Flogger History

The locally-made Volgur shirts are finally for sale online. I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE mine.  Anything they make, I'm getting. The same guys made this video:

Nice video (not safe for work). You may recognize a few faces. I certainly did.


Upcoming Events

Friday, June 28 (fourth Friday of each month), 10pm: Dress It Up/Strip It Down (Gear Night) @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way



Saturday, June 29, 10PM: Wolfs Backroom Revisited San Diego Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Dress code enforced evening! Must be in leather, underwear or shirtless to get into our special area!


Sundays: Every Sunday afternoon until Pride outside the Eagle, there will be a BBQ benefiting the Eagle's parade float and the Leatherboys San Diego. The grill requests a $3 donation.

This week is special, in that there will be sign up sheets to help build the float, and organize other volunteer jobs needed to pull off Pride. So stop by, grab some cheap grub, and see if there are tasks that you want to do on the list!



Tuesday, July 2 (first and third Tuesday of each month), 7PM: Hands-On Demos @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way. These are utterly safe, relaxed and sociable opportunities to get better-acquainted with the kinky arts.  All are welcome, at all experience-levels. In fact, we encourage beginners, because we make it okay to be clumsy or unsure. We all have to start somewhere!

Wednesday, July 3rd (every Wednesday), 7PM: Men's Discussions. Tonight's topic: Favorite Stories - Next week is the BIG SURPRISE!


Wednesday, July 3rd, 10PM: Puppy Night @ San Diego Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Our Dayton is celebrating his one-year anniversary of leading the Pack, and frankly, it's something wonderful to celebrate. He has charisma, leadership and organization-skills to spare!


Saturday, July 6th (first Saturday of each month), 4-7PM: Cigars & Boots at Bourbon Street at 4612 Park Blvd - Relaxed, happy, comfortable, serene. Pure brotherhood.


Sunday, July 7th: Off Sunset Festival in Silverlake. The first annual Off Sunset Festival is expected to see well over 5,000 attendees, all 21 and over. Spanning a half mile with:

Over 50 merchandise, art and novelty vendors
Gourmet food trucks staple and festival food vendors
Beer trailers and all your favorite spirits
Live music and dj tent


July 12-14: Wet'n Hot in Palm Springs, CA





SAN DIEGO PRIDE WEEKEND

Zillions of events and interesting things, but I will limit my coverage to the FUN STUFF:

The Eagle will be jumping, both Friday and Saturday nights.  There is also a big play-party on Saturday.




Saturday, July 13, 10am at the Pride Flag at the corner of Normal Street and University (last year, our contingent was in front of the Center): Leather Contingent and San Diego Eagle at San Diego Pride Parade. March with your Tribe.  This year, Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Robb Rodd has formed a team to bring the Eagle back into the public eye with a float.


We will be marching together, posing for the annual Group Photo, and having a great time representing our community.  No bare tits (on women) or ass, at ALL. The cops will hassle you.

The hidden (but HUGE) Leather Realm at the Pride Festival.

Saturday, July 13, after the Parade until 9PM: Leather Realm.  This is a massive, delightful education and enrollment environment.


Saturday, July 13, 8PM-2am Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park BlvdFURRAGEOUS Party

Sunday, July 14: Leather Realm continues at the Pride Festival.





Friday, July 19 (third Friday, every other month), 10:30pm: STUD Night @ the Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way. Featured guest will be Leo Forte.


Sunday, July 28, 11am to 6pmUp Your Alley Street Fair in San Francisco. There will be a group of San Diegans traveling together. Here are my Tips for Newbies.




July 31-August 5: Lazy Bear Weekend in Guerneville, California


Saturday, August 17, 7:30pm @ Birch North Park TheatreFilmOut presents "FIRST PERIOD" - SAN DIEGO PREMIERE!  Director: Charlie Vaughn. Description: If John Waters were to direct a John Hughes film – this outrageous new comedy would be that film! New girl Cassie (Brandon Alexander III) and school outcast Maggie (Dudley Beene) are easily the most unpopular girls at their high school. Together, they decide the way to win the hearts of cute boys and popular girls is to enter--and win--the annual Talent Show. But rivals Heather (Lauren Rose Lewis), other Heather, and their popular boyfriends Dirk (Michael Turchin) and Brett (Leigh Wakeford) will stop at nothing to keep Cassie and Maggie the laughing stock of the school. It's going to take courage, a make over, and maybe even a rap battle to beat them in true 80s style. With Jack Plotnick, Cassandra Peterson & Judy Tenuta! Running Time: 100 min, Unrated Check out the teaser hereGet tickets here.



SAN DIEGO LEATHER PRIDE WEEKEND

Get your tickets EARLY.  Limited space for the events. Details here.

Friday, August 23rd, 12 Noon (tentative): Leather Pride Flag Raising

Friday, August 23rd: All events located at the Victory Theater (Center for the Amusing Arts) at 2558 Imperial Avenue (between 25th and 26th Streets, near Golden Hill):

8 pm - 9:30pm: Meet & Greet
9:30 pm - 9:45 pm: Opening Ceremonies
9:45 pm - 11 pm: Celebrate Wish and Aaron at the Cigar Social, with Hors d'oeuvres and drinks

Saturday, August 24th: all events located at the Victory Theater:

6 pm - 8:30 pm: Mr and Ms San Diego Leather Contest
8: 30 pm - 9:30 pm: High Leather Cocktails with Tray Service and Cigar Social
9:30 pm: Announcement of Mr and Ms San Diego Leather 2013 winners

Sunday, August 25th:

11 am - 1 pm - Victory Brunch @ Urban Mo's Bar & Grill at 308 University Ave in Hillcrest
4PM (tentative): Leather Pride Flag Lowering




Sunday, September 29, 11am to 6pm:  Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.  Here are my Tips for Newbies.



San Diego's own Bryan Teague won American Leatherboy in 2010

October 11-13: American Brotherhood Weekend: A Leather Family Reunion in Chicago. Our own Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron will be running for American Leatherman 2013.



Leather Contingent and San Diego Eagle at San Diego Pride Parade

Saturday, July 13, 10am at the Pride Flag at the corner of Normal Street and University (last year, our contingent was in front of the Center)



To All in our Leather Tribe and affiliated communities:

San Diego has a very special community that welcomes you with open arms to join us for San Diego Pride and the San Diego Pride Parade.

Please join with Mr. and Ms. San Diego Leather, @Aaron Duke and @Wish Linda, and with @Robb Rodd, Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 for the Leather Contingent at the San Diego Pride Parade.

New this year...the Leather Contingent and the San Diego Eagle will be walking together and we expect to have a combined presence in the parade that you've never seen before!

Join us and walk with PRIDE with the San Diego Leather, kink, fetish and affiliated communities on Saturday, July 13, 2013 at 10:00 a.m. for check in.

The parade kicks off on Saturday, 11:00 a.m. and ends just in time to visit the Pride Festival grounds in beautiful Balboa Park where the Leather Realm will be held.

All are welcome to join us!

Please message:

@Wish Linda, @Aaron Duke or @Robb Rodd here or at:

MsSanDiegoLeather2012@gmail.com to RSVP, for questions, information or assistance.

SPECIAL MESSAGE TO TITLEHOLDERS: This is a special invitation for any titleholders who may be joining the Leather Contingent in the San Diego Pride Parade. Please send your name, title and title year to the email listed above so we can recognize you in an announcement as you pass parade grandstand.

In Leather...With Love,

WishLinda

General information about San Diego Pride can be found here: [http://www.sdpride.org/]

Please note that San Diego Vice laws will be strictly enforced. If you don't know, please ask.


FURRAGEOUS Party During Pride


BearNight & LL Bear join forces to present FURRAGEOUS!

Saturday, July 13, 8PM-2am Numbers Bar, at 3811 Park Blvd.

When you come to celebrate San Diego Gay Pride, mark your calendar for FURRAGEOUS at NUMB3RS Saturday, July 13, 2013 from 8pm-2am. BearNight and LL Bear are teaming up again for a third year to bring you FURRAGEOUS! The last two year's parties (formally Furball) were insanely fun, so we're doing it again!

We'll be expanding the outdoor patio and transforming the side parking lot into the Red Bull Outdoor Lounge with bars, food and more! Plus, DJs Jon Williams and Will Z will be heating up the two dance floors with the best dance music in town!

$4 Bud and Bud Light. Plus, $7 Double SVEDKA Vodka, featuring all your favorite flavors. Plus, Red Bull specials all night long.

$15 online* | $20 door
*Advance online tickets include VIP Front-of-the-line Entry.
PLUS, receive $5 OFF Afterhours party at Rich's with wristband.

Purchase advance tickets online here.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

FetishMenSanDiego Will Be Changing

Many factors in FMSD will be adapting as time goes by:

- Leadership in FMSD is going to shift,

- The calendar is going to be adjusting more and more, and

- The style of the newsletter will change.

Why?  Because we need to deal with huge success.



I have spent a lot of time in the last three full years, building FMSD. It is time for me to start shifting to a supportive role for the many, MANY younger, stronger, street-wise younger men that we are blessed with.  This is a joyful, natural step in my life, and I welcome it gladly.

I've had a good run, but now it's time to shift from "CEO" to "Chairman of the Board".  I'm not going away, I'm just making room for the dozens of our finest local men to step up to the plate and have their chance at glory and successful leadership.

My intention has never been to make FMSD "The Tony Show".  If it is going to last long after I'm gone, it needs to be a viable, sustainable entity on its own.



I'm not going away!

The Shaman's Hand

I see myself shifting from "Tribal Leader." into the role of a "Shaman":

- I have an astonishingly keen talent for finding, identifying and nurturing talented individuals.  I plan to keep doing this. We need an ongoing flow of new men who have skills, potential and energy that they will gladly share. I have the observational, intuitive and interpersonal skills to keep this happening.

- I will continue making myself available for counsel, arbitration and feedback.  I know this town, I'm aware of all of the people, organizations, businesses, and our shared history going back almost four decades.  I'm an excellent resource, if asked.  I have zero interest in forcing my opinions upon the new guys that are trying to find fresh answers to old questions. However, I will be easily available if my suggestions are requested.

- I will continue to spot patterns of change in our community, and report upon them.

- I'm going to make myself more available for pubic speaking, emceeing and writing.

- I plan to continue being an advocate for, and instigator of, innovation.

- I will be organizing events periodically, that will continue to be focused upon building Tribal unity and brotherhood.

I have been sharing these thoughts with many people who are rising stars among us. They have already started to step up to fill the leadership gap.  We are greatly blessed going forward!

SWATHED IN ROBES OF GLORY: Marriage Rally in Hillcrest 2013-06-26

Photos by the superb Scott, who is our group's Event Photographer.

On Wednesday, June 26, 2013, there was a rally and march starting at the Hillcrest Pride Flag to celebrate the defeat of the odious Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and the resumption of same-sex marriages in California.

The flag that will be replaced with an equal-sized Leather Pride Flag 
during the weekend of August 23rd-25th, 2013

Michael, the gent in the Boy Scout uniform is the Real Deal.
He is aggressively acting to change the Boy Scouts from within.

There is all sorts of coverage of what happened from the usual perspectives… I mean, there were SIX TV station vans with the satellite towers around the rally. That . story . can . easily . be . found.  I'm writing from a different perspective, because I'm noticing something momentous for our local Tribe:

Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke, and
Ms. San Diego Leather 2012 Wish Linda.
They get more done in one year than twenty years of titleholders in the old days!

There is a ferocious drive in our new leaders to REPRESENT the kink/leather/fetish Tribe to the larger community.  These men and women show up at huge, wildly diverse events and "work the crowd", while wearing garments that clearly identify them as members of the kink/fetish/leather Tribe.  They joyfully interact, pose for pictures, answer questions, hug, and share information that can help people in various ways.

At the Marriage Celebration Rally, they gathered together, set off in different directions, interfaced with people all throughout the crowd, and came back together to compare notes. It was a coordinated team effort.

Why would they do this?  What is the payoff?

They are ready to force change upon the world.

Joe, who is one of our newest brothers.  
He's so new, we just peeled the plastic off of him!

I came out as a gay man in 1975, and I have told my truth at every opportunity since then.  Positive and permanent change in the gay community didn't happen organically or passively. It happened because people with the hearts of lions took chances, spoke out, and took their lives public.  It's much harder to be bigoted against somebody if they are your favorite brother or sister.

LeatherSir Ron - a natural, charismatic leader.

Now, it is happening faster and faster in the kink community.  We have grown tired of apologizing for our existence.  The stereotyping and the scorn don't have any more power over us than we willingly hand away.

The fact of the matter is that (at least in San Diego), kinky folks are TRENDY.  I keep saying that, and it only get truer as time goes by.  The general public sees proof of our existence in increasing amounts on the Internet, and the response is shifting from knee-jerk bias to outright curiosity, and then to affectionate approval. We are good people, and folks like having us around.

In fact, we are eagerly sought-after by local businesses and affinity-groups. We're fun, we're cool, and we're really, really nice.

I couldn't attend a Marriage Celebration without 
holding hands with my non-kinky husband of 23 years, Dennis.
We were legally married almost exactly five years ago. Now anybody can!

When somebody asks me about the kink lifestyle, I just tell them that "Kink is just extreme intimacy".

I would also now add that the folks who are representing us in public are the very finest kinds of human beings.  Admirable, lovable, respectable and honorable.

Leatherboy James, Aaron, and Spike.
These are not average people by any measure.

Gary, one of our hardest-working volunteers.

This new generation of leaders is gladly acting as the very best kind of ambassadors.  I have access to thousands of photos created just within the last few years, showing these men and women traveling to all parts of the community to create positive change, many times a week, EVERY week. They aren't doing it for glory, and they certainly aren't doing it for money. Their hearts are pure, their intentions are honorable, and their fashion-sense is IMPECCABLE.

These aren't posers modeling in borrowed Fashion Leather. They are leaders who are garbed in symbolic raiments of dignity, gravitas and power. They have earned our respect, our applause and our thanks!

Leather Pride Flag to Fly During San Diego Leather Pride Weekend Every Year

The HUGE Leather Pride Flag being flown in San Francisco 
at the corner of Castro and Market.  Ours will be just as large, and visible!

Dear All:

We are pleased and excited to announce that for the first time, the Leather Pride Flag will be flown high and beautiful, over Hillcrest at the corner of Normal and University during San Diego Leather Pride weekend, August 23rd-August 25th.

Scottie
Primary credit for this happening goes to Scottie Tidwell, with the shared vision and support of Aaron Duke, Wish, Robb and Eli.  Please share your love with Scottie when you see him!

Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke, and
Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Wish Linda

Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Robb Rodd

Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli

I should also add that the businesses in and around Hillcrest have been huge partners and supporters of the work that we have done this year and the Business Association granted enthusiastic support to fly our flag and participate with us during the ceremonies.

On that note, we would like to raise and lower the Leather Pride flag with a full leather dress color guard.  With all due respect and love, we are asking if the following individuals, who serve as inspiration to many, would honor us and the community by serving as color guard to raise and/or lower the flag:

Sir Tom Dickerson
Sir Jo Blas
Ms. Annie Romano
Sir Mark Holmes
Sir Roadkill
Sir A.J.
Sir Bob Landis
Sir Michael Russell
Sir Brian Lord
Master Donna
Sir Erik Evenson
Master Marcus

In addition to the color guard, the following individuals are requested to participate in a color guard honorary receiving line:

Scottie Tidwell
Aaron Duke
Wish Linda
Robb Rodd
Caryl
Anthony Rollar
Brian Teague
Tiger
Papa Tony Lindsey
Karen Yew
Naria Jordan

Although the times are tentative, we are working with the Hillcrest Business Association to confirm and are requesting the following times.  Please indicate whether you are willing and able to participate in either or both of the following flag ceremonies:

Friday, August 23rd, 12 Noon (tentative): Flag Raising
Sunday, August 25th, 4:00 p.m. (tentative): Flag Lowering

Thank you so much for this consideration and for the many ways you provide support and love in this beautiful community.

In Leather...with Love,

Scottie Tidwell
Aaron Duke
Wish Linda


Follow-up from Aaron:

Thank you, each and everyone of you who made a donation to help us pay for the Leather Pride flag. This is truly amazing that our brothers and sisters from around the world (I am for real. There are donations from across the pond), came together in 24 hours to raise the all the funds needed to have the flag fabricated.

Please stay tuned for further information about the flag raising ceremony. We would love ALL of you to attend and share in this historic event with all of us.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Tonight's Plans to be a Part of History...

UPDATE: We Will be Starting at the FLAG in Hillcrest at 5PM… Not at the Center.  The flag is at the corner of Centre Street and University in Hillcrest. I will see you there. 


They will have speakers starting at 5:45, and then we head over to the Center.

The celebration at the Center starts at 7PM.

I'm going to bring the club banner, since so many other groups will be bringing theirs. I will need banner carriers for the march!

Previously, we had all sorts of plans for the evening tonight.

That's all superseded by tonight's historic rally and march in Hillcrest.  Now that marriage is legal in California, and the federal Defense of Marriage Act is defeated, it's time to celebrate, and to REPRESENT our Tribe:

Everybody can get married if they want to, now, 
just as my husband Dennis and I did! 
EVERYBODY deserves to be this happy!

Starting at 5PM, I will be at the Hillcrest GLBT Center at 3909 Centre Street. If people want to gather together for the march or rally, text me at 619-804-4627.  I will copy-and-paste updates in return.

I will be out in full gear, representing our proper, proud existence as honorable members of San Diego's community.  

Please join us!  You don't have to be all duded-up in formal gear, but please wear it if you've got it...



Here is Ian's write-up:

Because we are a group that can move with the currents of celebration, Mr. San Diego Leather Aaron Duke, our returning Leather Brother, Jimmy James and Papa Tony are encouraging all Fetishmen to don their gear and join the celebration rally at the San Diego LGBT Center!  With so many recent breakthroughs in our exposure to the general LGBTQ population, this is a great opportunity to come out in force.

As I understand, being at The Center at 5pm will allow us to take place in the march and rally, but please stay tuned for updates. Papa Tony will be monitoring the event schedule, so please use him as a point of contact. Also, because everyone does not check the page regularly (or may not have FaceBook) please share this info liberally with your brothers! It is better that they be told three times by friends than to miss out on this occasion!

Please remember to don your CLASSY (not trashy) gear :-P

See you tonight!!!


Friday, June 21, 2013

Leather Realm Itinerary for 2013



Leather Realm Workshops at San Diego Pride

Saturday, July 13:
-The Community Awareness Forum #1-(Hand’s on)
1:30-2:30pm Queerie Bradshaw - Writing About Sex for Better Sex (Discussion)
2:45-3:45pm Jason - Flogging: Making a Sensational Impact
4:00-5:00pm Alex Kitay- Erotic Spanking
5:15-6:15pm Mistress Marry - Strap on Madness
6:30-7:30pm Naria - Impact Play

-The Community Awareness Forum #2- (Discussion type -No hands on demo’s)
2:30-3:45pm Aaron Duke - What does it mean to be a leather man in 2013: Optimism is the answer.
4:00-5:30pm Louis and Danielle - From Vanilla to BDSM: Discovering your inner Perv
5:45-7:00pm Travis and Heather - Leather and Sobriety
7:30-9:00 Travis and Heather - Never Alone, Friends of Bill Meeting


Sunday, July 14:
-The Community Awareness Forum #1-(Hand’s on)
1:00-2:15pm Aaron Duke - Mummification: Bandages, Straps, and Palette Wrap
2:30-3:30pm Pup Phoenix and Kayden - Puppy Play
3:45-4:45pm Olga and blu - Vaginal Fisting
5:00-6:00pm Bikkja Amy - Electrical Play

-The Community Awareness Forum #2- (Discussion type -No hands on demo’s)
12:00-1:15pm Codi - “Sex, Gender and Play”
1:30-3:15pm Cobi - BDSM on a budget
3:30-6:00pm Mistress Melissa - Energy play
6:30-8:00pm - Travis and Heather Never Alone, Friends of Bill Meeting

Alex Kitay – Erotic Spanking website... www.uflb.org email... mrlbleather2010@gmail.com
Alex Kitay has a real heart for education and mentorship. He loves to encourage those on the edge of BDSM to take the plunge. As Mr. Long Beach Leather 2010, he got to know his community through hosting various events, all with a strong kink focus, and traveling. Alex’s experiences during his title year inspired him to work to build a stronger, more cohesive fetish community in and around Long Beach. From that inspiration, United Fetishists Long Beach was born. UFLB strives to unify and support the different factions of the fetish community while building bridges with the greater community at large. UFLB hosted this year’s very successful Leather Expo at Long Beach Pride, where many from San Diego graciously gave of their time and talents. Alex is thrilled to bring his enthusiasm and love for all things kinky to this year’s leather realm.

Spanking is often not thought of as kinky. However, there are so many different scenarios where spanking can be used that those of us in the BDSM lifestyle know just how kinky it can be. Erotic spanking, for the concerns of this workshop, is spanking with very specific goals in mind: seduction and sex! Knowing what you want and ways of getting it through the attention given to the bottom area will be discussed and demonstrated. Because spanking can be a gateway to many other forms of BDSM play, this is a perfect workshop for beginners or those curious to know more.

Aaron Duke - Mummification: Bandages, Straps, and Palette Wrap Mrsandiegoleather2012@gmail.com
Aaron Duke began his journey in the kink, leather, fetish, and BDSM community in 1998 in Dallas, Texas. Since then, he has been an avid lifetime learner of BDSM activities and techniques attending educational events throughout the country. As Mr San Diego Leather 2012, he started a monthly hands on demo with Fetish Men San Diego. This monthly event is held on the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of every month at the San Diego Eagle. Each event allows experience players to share their knowledge and information, and provides the new and curious an opportunity to explore in a safe and nurturing environment.
Want to have a good time for under $20? Learn how you can use items from the grocery store for mummification. Explore the different options of material you can use to restrain someone. Find out how to do it safely, so everyone has a great time. Once you have them restrained, what do you do with them? Come and find out. Audience member will have the opportunity to share the experience and find the joys of mummification.

Aaron Duke - What does it mean to be a leather man in 2013: Optimism is the answer.
Our leather culture has changed from its roots. It is a great time to be a leather man. See a video from men around the world sharing what being a leather man today means to them. Hear the great news of the vibrant gay leather men’s community here in San Diego. Learn about our different social, educational, and clubs here in San Diego. The internet has been blamed for diminishing our culture. Learn how we are using it in 2013 to educate, connect, and build a vibrant community.

Bikkja Amy – Electrical Play
Bikkja Amy Southern California Leather Woman (SCLW) 2006 is the Contestant Coordinator for IMsL and sits on the board for the SCLW contest. She is the Head DM for Club X-San Diego and has the honor of being Mama’s Bikkja. Since 2007, she has been the Ambassador Coordinator for the Leather Realm at San Diego gay Pride. She has been creating mischief in the San Diego and Central Valley Leather Communities for the last 13 years. True to her Capricorn nature, she jumped right into her career as a Kinky Woman when she first moved to San Diego in 2000, by becoming a member and board member of Leather and Sisterhood (L.A.S.H.) She then became Knight of Leather 2002. She facilitated the San Diego Women's Leather Rap group and co-founded the Modesto Women's BDSM Forum. As a player, she is a true Switch who is particularly fond of needles.

Absolutely SHOCKING!!! Come and learn about all the fun things that can be used to zap the living sexy daylights out of you! From Violet Wands to stun guns, this hands-on workshop will cover safety and the erotic allure of being ZAPPED!!!


Cobi – BDSM on a budget sdbusdrivers@gmail.com
Cobi is celebrating his tenth year with Club X. He currently serves as Secretary on the Board of Directors for Club X. He shares his BDSM experiences at colleges and has taught classes on food play and making toys. He also serves as Ambassador in the San Diego Leather Realm, helping curious people find their kink. Cobi is the Southwest Bootblack 2010 and because of his playful instigating, he was pinned "Mama's Bus Driver."
Maybe you’re new and not sure if you want to invest in a lot of expensive equipment at the start. You may be one of those frugal DIY types who walks into a store, looks at the price tag and says, “I could make that.” This discussion is designed for folks to share their experiences and ideas so that others can get more bang for their buck without going broke while getting off.

Codi – “Sex, Gender and Play” codiboi@ymail.com
With a background in critical gender studies, cognitive science, and hands-on experience exploring intimate power dynamics, Codi has eclectic experience in understanding intersections of personhood and BDSM roles/identities. Codi has been involved in the leather community since 2009 in varying capacities. Codi explores, studies and embodies intersections of gender with other forms of identity both academically and personally: currently in the midst of publishing articles on the topic with Duke University Press. Historically, Codi has presented at Berkeley, UCSD, Cal Poly SLO, SDSU, San Diego Pride, The UCC Church in Palo Alto, T-Camp, Peace Conference in San Diego, and the San Diego LGBT Center on topics regarding gendered identity and intersections of sexuality. Codi is committed to growing in this journey of self-discovery, sharing personal experiences with the intention to make visible specific stories/lives, and to holding space for conversations that might otherwise be rendered unvoiced.

What the hell is a preferred gender pronoun and how many of these damn things are there? How do you ask someone if they are a boy, girl, boi, transman, genderqueer, faeri butch or some other combination of gendered identities? We will discuss the differences between sex and gender, and how these things factor into sexualities. We will discuss gender play briefly and how it is different than living a trans* “lifestyle”. This is an interactive, upbeat conversation where you can ask all the questions you’ve ever wanted to ask about gender, and we will discover the answers – and more questions – together!

Jason –Flogging (Nightgaunt8)
Three years since coming out, third year as a Leather Realm Ambassador, but a realized kinkster since long before, Jason is a more than regular presence in the San Diego community and abroad. Constantly looking for ways to improve his hard and soft skills, he volunteers at and attends workshops, classes, and conferences regularly, and loves bringing back knowledge to share with the community. This last year has included BOLD, SWLC, Sin in the City, and a proud graduation from The Butchmann’s Experience, as well as regular involvement in local events and Directorship of MAsT San Diego (MDHL-fs). Most recently, he has presented for San Diego’s Club X and Tampa, FL TNG’s Kinky Camp Out. He brings formidable skills from his musical background as a percussionist into one of his favorite forms of impact/sensation play, flogging, and is here to share that with you today. You can find more information about him on Fetlife and via his professional music websitewww.percussionbyjason.weebly.com.


Flogging is one of the most widely and easily recognized SM activities in the kink/fetish world. One would be hard pressed to ignore the sights and sounds of a flogger wielding Top playing with a squirmy and thrashing or blissfully sub-spaced bottom. It’s an activity that can be used to great effect in many different ways, for many different reasons. It can be powerfully brutal or surprisingly gentle, deep and thuddy or sharp and stingy, in perfect pulse with the music or random and chaotic. Understanding what kinds of floggers are out there, how they can be used, how to care for them, and most importantly, how to use them safely, can help us minimize the risk of injury and create a pleasant (if not blissful) introduction to this type of SM play.

Kayden and Pup Phoenix– Puppy Play
My name is Kayden and I go by Ace in the scene. I am a personal trainer by day, Puppy by night. I was Mr. Trans San Diego 2011. I love educating the community on LGBT and BDSM related topics. I have done panels at local colleges and did some motivational speakings as well. I have appeared on a reality show called "Blind Dinner Party" starring Margaret Cho. I have been in the Kink community for 3 years. I believe there is always room to grow and one should always be open to learning new things.
Pup Phoenix got his start in the fetish scene a little over 15 years ago.. I have been involved with the Scouting For All as an Eagle Scout and Board Member, the Imperial Court System in both Providence, Rhode Island and San Diego. Since moving to San Diego in October of 2006, I have been involved with the Gay Rodeo Association, the Imperial Court and the Leather Community. In 2010, I, along with several fetishist created The San Diego Puppy Patrol. The group went on to create Pup Night at the San Diego Eagle. I consider myself and Alpha Pup & Handler, why both, because I can drop into pup headspace with the right Dom or group of pups, but I can also handle a pup to make sure they are well behaved in a group setting. Sometimes you just have to be a versatile to have fun and be who you are."www.pupzone.com www.woofcamp.com www.ipupcontest.comwww.tampabayleatherfetishpride.com/ipc/

Puppy Play 101 Workshop is an introduction to the ever growing fetish lifestyle and pup headspace. This workshop is meant for those interested in, involved in or just plain curious to what the whole hoopla is about being a Pup or Handler. The workshop will introduce you to what puppy play is and the roles involved, as well as cover safety, toys, gear, history and events. Since Puppy Play is an ever growing Fetish, roles and training vary upon the persons in the relationship. This is only an intro to Pup Play as a whole and will give you an idea of what you can do with in your own personal play space.

Louis and Danielle - From Vanilla to BDSM: Discovering your inner Perv dmoneyknows@gmail.com
Danielle and Louis met while studying engineering in college 3.5 years ago and they fell in love in the most vanilla way. A year later, they started to spice things up in the bedroom and kink gradually evolved their relationship into a D/s power exchange dynamic. They have been featured on the E! Network Special "The Real 50 Shades of Grey" last January. Active members of Club X for the last two years, they can be found at BDSM clubs, classes and workshops throughout southern California. Each day they try to improve their D/s while balancing the demands of everyday life.

Are you ready to take your existing relationship from vanilla to kinky? Do you want to plunge into the world of BDSM and take someone with you? How do you let someone you are dating know you are kinky? Join Louis and Danielle for a discussion of the introduction of BDSM into your life. Whether you are just dating, getting serious, or have been together for years, the journey into BDSM can be both thrilling and a delicate balance. Come hear about our undertaking, meet others ready to dive in, ask questions, and share your experiences about the process of discovering your inner Perv.

Mistress Marry – Strap on Madness
Is a very naughty Grrl, Poly Leather Dyke, retired Professional Dominant, Sex Educator, and a long time member of the Kink Community. She has contributed to a variety of events and organizations such as Seattle Women of Leather, Wicked Womyn, Leather Realm, Lupercalia, Sagacity, and the Kinky Carnival, just to name a few. Some of her favorite classes have to do with sex, blood, electricity, and people's bits. When not teaching people how to improve their kinky sex lives one orgasm at a time, you can find her on her motorcycle exploring the country. She now resides in Southern California.
Cum and join a stimulating and sexy workshop about Strap-On's. You will learn the power behind strappin' it on, how to prepare your "bottom", how to get the most out of your Strap-On, the different ways to use your Strap-On, caring for your Strap/harness, what works with what, and lots of other how to's. If you've always been curious about Strappin' it On, then cum to this workshop!

Mistress Melissa Energy play Website- SanctuaryLAX.com Email- Depechemel@gmail.com
Southern California Leather Woman 2011, International Professional, Media Personality, Public Performer, Trainer, Mentor, Lecturer, and Lifestyle Dominant, Mistress Melissa. She has been the Lifestyle since 1993. She lives this 24/7 holding positions on both Advisory Boards for DomCon and Pansexual Pride. She has volunteered at many BDSM/Leather events from coast to coast. Some of Her proudest moments include: being voted for TSR’s People’s Choice Award for Woman of the Year 2011, Mistress of Ceremonies for DomConLA 2011, Mistress of Ceremonies for DomCon Atlanta 2011, Class of International Ms. Olympus Leather 2011, and being a Regional Titleholder in the Women’s Community. She can be found at many BDSM, Body Modification, and Leather Lifestyle Community events.
Come learn background, technique and application from a Professional Who spent Her formative and Adult years in every category O/our Lifestyle offers. Mistress Melissa’s unique perspective, research, experience and humorous delivery make Her classes as entertaining as they are valuable. Her background in Touch-empathy, Energy Cleansings for Flesh-hooks/Piercing with CoRE, and Her Spiritual center in Santeria is Her foundation. Energy Play and Awareness is one of Her passionate subjects to share. She will cover the many different levels of energy from inter-personal interactions to community. When asked what is Her favorite type of play? Her answer is always "The energy exchange between P/players" . It’s about Reception, Projection, and Movement……..come and see what Her perspective is on this subject!

Naria -Impact Play
Naria Lei B. Jordan is Southern California Leather Woman 2013, and Ms. San Diego Leather 2002. She is a longtime Radical Sex Perv Poly Daddy who has been involved in the Queer BDSM Community for 31 years as a practitioner, organizer, activist, and educator in the Kinky Arts. She was a co-founder of two Women's-only leather groups in Washington, DC--Lesborados and S/Mazons. She was a co-founder, editor, and writer for the collectively published "Black Leather...In Color" and is the facilitator of the Women's BDSM Rap in San Diego. She was also the Co-facilitator for the Women's BDSM Forum in the Modesto/Central Valley area from 2004-2006.A writer, national speaker and presenter, photographer, and fancier of Fine Fierce Femme Women, Naria is a relentless sex educator, a misunderstood yet flaming Pisces, a true Water Tiger, and always enjoys pushing the envelope--as often as possible! She resides in San Diego with her wife, Bikkja Amy, 5 cats and a dog--and a household of assorted pervs.

Impact Play is the BDSM/Sexual practice in which a person (the "bottom") is repeatedly struck by either their play partners (the "top") hands and/or other implements to achieve sexual gratification. Ranging from light to heavy sensation play, depending on the medium being used, come and learn how to get the beat on...so to say!

Olga – Vaginal Fisting
Olga is an educator, community leader and proud owner of her boi blu. She loves to teach, play, and have fun. She’s passionate about teaching and loves sharing her knowledge and skills with others. She has enjoyed presenting for many groups and at numerous events around the country. Olga has been active in community groups and leadership since she discovered the scene. She and her partner blu are the producers of DESIRE Leather Women Unleashed (www.desireleatherwomen.com) – an incredible annual women’s weekend held in Palm Springs. DESIRE is an educational and play event – it’s where the women really play. Olga is a co-founder and co-facilitator of the Huntington Beach MAsT (Masters and slaves Together) chapter. She is the co-coordinator of the BDSM Workshop Series now being offered at the Long Beach Gay Lesbian Center. In her professional life Olga is a sexologist and therapist.

Vaginal fisting is an incredibly powerful, sensuous experience. This presentation will cover basic information about vaginal fisting and how to fist. Safety considerations will be discussed. Olga will also describe basic female genital anatomy and sexual responsiveness. This information can help you to better understand how to enhance your fisting experience. Olga will be assisted by her boi blu who is a skilled fister herself.

Travis and Heather travisty626@gmail.com hisdirtygirl626@gmail.com
Heather and I met in junior high and have been married for 20 years. We have evolved into a full time D/s Daddy/girl dynamic and are in a poly relationship. I have been sober for 15 years and Heather for 12. We've been very active in AA & CMA, leading workshops and H&I groups, speaking at meetings and sponsoring others. At first we thought being sober meant we were supposed to live very bland, conventional lives. In time we discovered that sobriety gave us the freedom to be our true selves, kink and all. We sought out the kink community and found a fellowship very similar to 12 step groups. Both have allowed us to explore and grow and have greatly enhanced our lives.

Leather and Sober Living -Workshop will be a panel discussion and Q&A. Topics will include: Sobriety and the Straight Pepper Diet, Living a kinky life vs old behavior, Powerlessness in a power exchange and many more.
Never Alone - Friends of Bill W. AA/NA meetings for sober leather folk and those that want to connect.

Queerie Bradshaw Writing About Sex for Better Sex
http://www.QueerieBradshaw.com/ info@queeriebradshaw.com
A sexpert with a law degree, Lauren Marie Fleming (a.k.a. Queerie Bradshaw) is a writer and speaker specializing in the legal and social issues surrounding sex, sexuality, gender and gender identity. She also provides left-brained solutions to right-brained people as a consultant and teaches digital publishing classes. Lauren is currently finishing up the final chapters of her memoir, based on her popular sex blog for Curve Magazine. She also is the editor of QueerieBradshaw.comand writes “Lascivious” for VICE Magazine, a column on sex and porn from a legal perspective. Through all of her work, Lauren encourages others to tell their intimate stories as a way to remove social stigmas and explore their desires
This workshop focuses on how to use writing as a way to explore, analyze and pinpoint sexual expression, desire and fantasies. From blog posts on gender identity to fantastical erotica to sensual love letters exchanged between partners, writing allows people to explore sex and sexuality in safe, unique, fluid ways, with a depth and personal reflection that conversations don't always allow. In the workshop, we will discuss various types of easy, effective writing styles, words and phrases to use when you don't want to sound cliche or cheesy and scenarios in which writing could be used to better your sex life. Everyone will leave the workshop with a small written piece to take home. (Please bring pen/pencil and paper, if possible. A limited amount of supplies will be provided.)

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance
which contains news about ALL known upcoming events. 
Be sure to click on "More Info" to get the best details!

Recent Articles

Something New In Kink: The FLOG SWARM.  This article has now been read worldwide in eighteen countries within 12 hours of being posted on Facebook.  It is one of the most viral articles I've ever posted. Pure excitement and potential for future breakthroughs!

Leather Realm Itinerary for 2013 - Lots of workshops!

Spa For SaleThis is not my usual sort of posting.  Here is why I'm including it:  We are in a TERRIBLE economy right now.  Due to the sequesters, things are getting WORSE for many of our brothers.  Ron is selling his spa, but he's not just some random dude.  He is a leatherman, as well as Mr. Bear SOCAL 2011, and Mr. Bear San Diego 2007.


From Race Bannon: My friend and Race's Bar group member Patrick Mulcahey wrote a rather brilliant article published recently in the Society of Janus' Growing Pains newsletter. He addresses the issue of "coming out" as a kinkster in one of the most beautiful, eloquent and sensitive manners I've seen to date. Treat yourself and read this article. It's important.



Upcoming Events

Last week's newsletter was beyond epic, so I'm attempting to take it reasonably easy this week.  Of course, I say that every week.

Friday June 21, 8:30PM-1AM: Friday Night Beat and Greet, Downtown.


Saturday, June 22ndSouthern California Leather Gathering (SCLG) 2013

Sunday, June 23, 2-6PM at Dungeon V (address provided upon RSVP). Workshop: The Touch of a Single Tail 



Wednesday, June 26Men's Discussion Group Field Trips:

We are changing things up in a super neato-way & it's a great day to pull out your GEAR!


• 1pm-5pm is a memorial service for a former Mr. San Diego Eagle (2x) Ray Busby at The Center - Dan Woodward is our point person for that event.


• 5pm-6:45pm is a casual Gear Invasion dinner of Carnitas Snack Shack - we will be meeting on the patio out back. You do NOT have to dress up to be welcome.


• 7pm-8pm - welcome back to brother James (Jimmy James) from TOO MUCH time in Afghanistan.

• 8pm - ? we take our sexy asses down to #1 on 5th ave to see Tiger Sd for a special birthday Pictionary night to support The Leather Realm @ San Diego Pride. Greetings, San Diego Leather/BDSM/Kink/Fetish! For the next two Wednesdays at tiger's Pictionary, Jun 19th and Jun 26th, we will be raising funds for San Diego Pride's Leather Realm at Balboa Park! Also, on Jun 26th, it will be my birthday celebration so not only will we have an amazing time, we'll have cake too!! There will also be Special Pictionary clues that I DON'T KNOW ABOUT, which means for the first time in nearly two years since I started volunteering to host Pictionary, I get to PLAY!! Come join me both nights as we raise some funds for Leather Realm at San Diego Pride!

tiger's Pictionary, every Wednesday from 7:30 - 10pm on the back patio
#1 Fifth, located at 3840 Fifth Ave, SD 92103




Saturday, June 22nd (fourth Saturday of each month), 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Wayhosted by our own Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Robb Rodd, and the superb Derek Thunderchild, who is a personal favorite of mine!




Thursday, June 27, 7pm: Join the Leather Foundation as it holds the first Leather Night with the Diversionary Theater. This is a chance to see what great performances the Diversionary theater has to offer while attending a fundraising event for the Leather Foundation. Tickets are $31 and includes a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres hour beginning at 7pm. To be included simply use the discount code SDLF when booking your tickets.

Directed by Glenn Parris. Featuring: Maggie Carney, Yolanda Franklin, Lauren King, Dangerfield Moore, Darren Scott and Jacque Wilke

An inspired homage to every Hollywood film ever made about nuns. Written by the comic genius behind such classics as The Tale of the Allergists Wife, Die, Mommie, Die!; Psycho Beach Party; and Vampire Lesbians of Sodom, this gleefully twisted tale tells the story of an indomitable Mother Superior trying to cope with a young postulant experiencing "visions," a sensitive schoolboy in need of mentoring, a mysterious nun visiting from Berlin, and a former suitor intent on luring her away from her vows.


Friday, June 28 (fourth Friday of each month), 10pm: Dress It Up/Strip It Down (Gear Night) @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way





Saturday, June 29, 10PM: Wolfs Backroom Revisited San Diego Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Dress code enforced evening! Must be in leather, underwear or shirtless to get into our special area!



Tuesday, July 2 (first and third Tuesday of each month), 7PM: Hands-On Demos @ the San Diego Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way. These are utterly safe, relaxed and sociable opportunities to get better-acquainted with the kinky arts.  All are welcome, at all experience-levels. In fact, we encourage beginners, because we make it okay to be clumsy or unsure. We all have to start somewhere!



Wednesday, July 3rd, 10PM: Puppy NightSan Diego Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Our Dayton is celebrating his one-year anniversary of leading the Pack, and frankly, it's something wonderful to celebrate. He has charisma, leadership and organization-skills to spare!


Sunday, July 7th: Off Sunset Festival in Silverlake. The first annual Off Sunset Festival is expected to see well over 5,000 attendees, all 21 and over. Spanning a half mile with:

Over 50 merchandise, art and novelty vendors
Gourmet food trucks staple and festival food vendors
Beer trailers and all your favorite spirits
Live music and dj tent



July 12-14: Wet'n Hot in Palm Springs, CA




Friday, July 19 (third Friday, every other month), 10:30pm: STUD Night @ the Eagle, at 3040 N Park Way. Featured guest will be Leo Forte.


Sunday, July 28, 11am to 6pmUp Your Alley Street Fair in San Francisco. There will be a group of San Diegans traveling together. Here are my Tips for Newbies.




July 31-August 5: Lazy Bear Weekend in Guerneville, California



Saturday, August 17, 7:30pm @ Birch North Park Theatre. FilmOut presents "FIRST PERIOD" - SAN DIEGO PREMIERE!  Director: Charlie Vaughn. Description: If John Waters were to direct a John Hughes film – this outrageous new comedy would be that film! New girl Cassie (Brandon Alexander III) and school outcast Maggie (Dudley Beene) are easily the most unpopular girls at their high school. Together, they decide the way to win the hearts of cute boys and popular girls is to enter--and win--the annual Talent Show. But rivals Heather (Lauren Rose Lewis), other Heather, and their popular boyfriends Dirk (Michael Turchin) and Brett (Leigh Wakeford) will stop at nothing to keep Cassie and Maggie the laughing stock of the school. It's going to take courage, a make over, and maybe even a rap battle to beat them in true 80s style. With Jack Plotnick, Cassandra Peterson & Judy Tenuta! Running Time: 100 min, Unrated Check out the teaser here. Get tickets here.



Sunday, September 29, 11am to 6pm:  Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.  Here are my Tips for Newbies.

San Diego's own Bryan Teague won American Leatherboy in 2010

October 11-13: American Brotherhood Weekend: A Leather Family Reunion in Chicago. Our own Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron will be running for American Leatherman 2013.