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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Social Column

-=-=-=-=-=-   DATE FOR FOLSOM STREET FAIR CHANGED

Evidently, nerdy non-kinksters hogged up all of the hotels a year in advance!  Details can always be found here as well, but I have asked to get their alerts from now on, so I can pass them along here.

-=-=-=-=-=-   BULLYING COPS

Will is a young leatherman with high spirits who likes to wear provocative gear.  I say good for him! 

He got bullied by a cop and arrested at San Diego Pride Festival this last summer (story, pictures and video here), and he is taking the police department to court and suing them.  It's a compelling story, it shows that he is a champion by nature, and we need to support his efforts.  We all need to fight back.  In fact, I am taking suggestions on ways that we can bolster his efforts.  Lawyers aren't cheap.

During the Pride parade that same weekend, there was a large Leather Contingent marching peacefully along, feeling mighty fine, when we all passed by the looney section with the anti-gay protesters.  One of the cops standing guard came running up to harass one of the men with us, who was wearing assless chaps with a butt-strap (as required by law).  He repeatedly threatened to arrest the guy unless he covered his ass-cheeks. Somebody loaned him a bandanna to cover his shameful body, and we moved on, after I spent a good amount of energy shouting at the the cop to back off. The cop insisted that the law does not allow buttocks to be visible.  I told him that the law allows for it if there is a one-inch strap, but he insisted that the law had been changed. Anybody know about this one?

Personally, I blame 9/11.  Suddenly, cops could do no wrong. Ever since then, cops have been getting away with more and more thuggeryThere was a recent study that found that as many of 41% of all Americans have been taken into custody or arrested by the age of 23!

San Diego's culture has gotten a little too body-phobic.  Nearly EVERY other city that hosts a World Naked Bike Ride actually allows full nudity with zero hassles. San Diego requires UNDERWEAR to be worn, so very few people actually show up for it.

Let's be honest here - We live in the Age of the Internet. ANYBODY can easily see other people's wang-dangs, boot-tays, hooters and vajayjays.  Isn't it time we quit pretending that we are emotionally and permanently scarred by seeing each others' bodies?

Back in 1982, I was given the Rodney King treatment in a gay bar.  I was dancing at Mister Dillon's, which is now RICHS. I saw two cops shoving and punching their way through the crowd.  I approached, trying to look at their badges so that I could report their behavior.  Unfortunately, I'm not really built for unobtrusiveness, and the cops changed their focus to me. I was clubbed to the ground by one cop, while the other one radioed for backup. Four other cops came in and the six of them kicked and beat me while I lay helpless, trying to shield myself. My nose was broken (which is why it looks this way), both eyes were blackened, and multiple ribs were broken. I had major bruises and lacerations. I was shocked that they would do this, and never raised a hand in anger.

My boyfriend, the bar manager and I were all arrested for "Assaulting an Officer" and "Resisting Arrest".  In court, I was found guilty by a jury... I assume that members of the jury were certain that a large guy like me was naturally a bad man. The judge wouldn't allow the fact to be used in court that the ringleader of the cops had over 150 citizen's complaints against him for excessive force. Since I had a spotless record, I was given 200 hours of community service.  I became very afraid of cops for a long time.

I'm not sure what changed to cause our bars and gatherings to become safer in the decades since then, but now I fear that the Bad Old Days are coming back. 

Send me your comments, your ideas and your feedback.

-=-=-=-=-=-   SUPPORTING OUR LOCAL BARS:  GEAR UP AND GO OUT!

Thanks to Mark for the suggestion…



Back at our most-recent Men's Discussion, Switchmaster Luke and I came up with the names of seven leather bars in San Diego that aren't around any more. Who can name them all for me to post later?

The point being made at the time was that we tend to LOSE local resources, but not get new ones to replace them.  The Internet has become the primary place for hook-ups, but hasn't been a good friend to those of us who like to be part of a larger community.  

There is a movement growing to encourage fetishmen all over the world to get geared-up and show their pride. Ruff's Stuff and Leatherati have covered this, and it's a great idea.

I'm glad to see momentum growing, because it's hard to own a leather bar in 2012.  Many cities have none left, INCLUDING SAN FRANCISCO. Nicholas bought the San Diego Eagle because he couldn't stand the idea of San Diego having no dedicated leather bars. He didn't need to do it financially - he already has a successful catering business. The previous owners had tried to turn the bar into the Arena, a brightly-lit Euro-style video bar. When that failed, Nicholas and a large team of volunteers turned it back into what we all want in a leather bar.

I've heard a lot of belly-aching about the Eagle in the years since, but nobody seems to understand how HARD it is to keep the bar going. The economy sucks, the local political climate is touchy at best, and the target audience is at home, in front of the computer, with closets full of dusty fetishwear. 

One of my original goals for FMSD was to provoke people into showing up and being a Tribe, in public, in gear, and supporting businesses that support US.  I'm glad to say that the project has been a success, at least here in San Diego.  I'd love to see other major cities being able to gather together such handsome, diverse crowds of men.

Upcoming Events

I'll be sending out a rather large Social Column shortly, and you won't want to miss it. The relationship between us and the San Diego Police has been shifting slowly back to the Bad Old Days, and it's time to get the news out.

I'll be shifting the moderation of the Men's Discussions over to California LeatherSir 2011 Sam, who has had four years of experience with this sort of thing.  At the last one, we ran out of chairs!  That's Sam on the far left of the picture. Why make the change?  Because I have more new projects coming up that will need my full attention. San Diego's community is a rocket-ship heading for the stars, and we're all on it together. Local leaders' successes are building upon successes, and  I want to help in any way that I can. My time is best spent doing what I do behind the scenes - networking, mentoring, encouraging and brainstorming.

Some of you might be wondering why I'm promoting the FilmOut movie series, which is a non-profit, gay-run effort. Several reasons: Our demographic is highly sought-after nowadays, and once somebody finds out that we can be reached, they really want us back, visible and proud and numerous. We are definitely the kind of crowd that appreciates gay-friendly movies in a packed theater that is central to where most of our community lives. It's a very unifying occasion, where you know that you're among folks who accept you without question, and everybody around you has the same reactions at the same time. Our turnout for the Cruising Movie event was a massive success… This photo only shows the folks who wanted to be in the group shot. The RENT movie event was nearly sold-out last month, and now the organizers have sent me twenty-five free tickets for my buddies to go see Shortbus at 7PM on January 18th.  Show up at 6:45PM to get your ticket(s) from me personally, outside the door at the Birch North Park Theatre.

The problem with the FilmOut series is that it is one of THREE events happening that evening. This is a great, superb, completely wonderful problem to have.  Two years ago, we had maybe one gay kinkster-related event every three or four months.  Now, as you can see below, the calendar is getting crammed with delightful choices. The events are succeeding, too - We're all getting the variety that each of us needs.

Well, except for the more hardcore play parties. I'm working on it...

-=-=-=-=-=- UPCOMING EVENTS

Fri. Dec. 30, 9PM; NEW YEAR'S EVE Party at the Eagle.

Fri. Dec. 30, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as March 30, June 29, August 31 and Nov. 30th of 2012. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment. I will be there, teaching flogging as usual.

Sun. Jan. 1, 5PM, CIGARS & BOOTS on the patio at Redwing Bar & Grill, hosted by California LeatherSir 2010 Miles B. First Sun. of each month. If you like a low-pressure, comfortable event with men that you can relate to, this one is for you. 

Wed. Jan. 4, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. Here is a picture from the December 21 event. It's a great excuse for the generations to meet and build friendships and share mentoring. Featured guests for the evening will be San Diego Puppy Patrol.  Learn more about the Puppy movement in the kinky gay male community.

Wed. Jan. 4, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, hosted by Beep and San Diego Puppy Patrol (SDPP). First Wed. of each month.

Thu. Jan. 5, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri, Jan. 6, 7-9PM; SDLOG EDUCATIONAL EVENT: Usually, the first event of the year is the Planning Meeting, where decisions are made about future events.  First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Centerby the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University.

Sat. Jan. 7, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers. $5 cover. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews.

Thu. Jan. 12 at 9pm till 1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle.  Second Thu. of each month

Fri. Jan. 13, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle; 2nd Fri. of each month. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct.FebruaryMarchAprilJune and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.

Sat. Jan. 14, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHT at the Eagle. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.

Wed. Jan. 18, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. Featured guests for the evening will be CubClub, a group of young, dynamic men who were the organizers behind the recent, wildly successful BELT party.

Wed. Jan. 18, 7-11PM: TNG social event at Bamboo Lounge. TNG stands for "The Next Generation", which is a kinky social group for younger men and women from 18 to 35 years old. This particular event is in the style of a group discussion. Third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Jan. 18, 7-10PM: FilmOut San Diego presents SHORTBUS at the Birch North Park Theatre. $10 cash at the door, and bring extra cash for the fabulous raffle items!  Upcoming movies: Feb 15th-Breakfast at Tiffany's, Mar 14th-HAIR, Apr 18th-Cry-Baby, May 16th-Sordid Lives

Thu. Jan. 19, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Jan. 20, 8:30PM-1AM: FRIDAY NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.

Jan 26th to 29th: Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm weekend

Sat. Jan 28, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle. Hosted by Mr. SD Eagle 2011 Kane. Fourth Sat. of each month.

Sat. Feb.4, 9PM-3AM: ANVIL CLUB up in the San Fernando Valley. I give it a rave review here. Upcoming dates include Mar. 24 (LA Leather), April 21(Sports Gear), June 23, August 24 (Rubber), Oct. 20 (Uniforms) and Dec. 15.

Sat. Feb. 18th: Mr. SD Eagle Contest. More details will be posted as they arrive.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Upcoming Events

The folks at FilmOut San Diego have sent me their list of movies coming up at the Birch North Park Theatre:

Jan-Shortbus
Feb-Breakfast at Tiffany's
Mar-HAIR
Apr-Cry-Baby
May-Sordid Lives
Jun-TBD
Jul-TBD

This year has blasted past us at full speed, and I am finding it hard to express how happy and excited I am about 2012. FMSD has taken off like a rocket, our community has grown even more unified and affectionate, and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep running in front of the parade, waving a flag…  Things are changing much faster than I ever would have predicted, and it's all superb. My faith in the essential kindness and goodness of the people in my life has been corroborated many times over. I'm eager to see what shows up next, and I am doing my best to make sure that it happens!

-=-=-=-=-=- UPCOMING EVENTS

Wed. Dec. 21, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month. The theme for this particular event is "meeting others who want to be actively involved in making our community a better place".

Fri. Dec. 23, 9:30PM; HOT SANTA AND HIS NASTY ELVES Party at the Eagle.

Fri. Dec. 30, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as March 30, June 29, August 31 and Nov. 30th of 2012. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment.

Sun. Jan. 1, 5PM, CIGARS & BOOTS on the patio at Redwing Bar & Grill, hosted by California LeatherSir 2010 Miles B. First Sun. of each month. If you like a low-pressure, comfortable event with men that you can relate to, this one is for you. 

Wed. Jan. 4, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Jan. 4, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, hosted by Beep and San Diego Puppy Patrol (SDPP). First Wed. of each month.

Thu. Jan. 5, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri, Jan. 6, 7-9PM; SDLOG EDUCATIONAL EVENT: Usually, the first event of the year is the Planning Meeting, where decisions are made about future events.  First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Centerby the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University.

Sat. Jan. 7, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers. $5 cover. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews.

Thu. Jan. 12 at 9pm till 1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle.  Second Thu. of each month

Fri. Jan. 13, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle; 2nd Fri. of each month. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct.FebruaryMarchAprilJune and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.

Sat. Jan. 14, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHT at the Eagle. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.

Wed. Jan. 18, 7-11PM: TNG social event at Bamboo Lounge. TNG stands for "The Next Generation", which is a kinky social group for younger men and women from 18 to 35 years old. This particular event is in the style of a group discussion. Third Wednesday of each month.

Thu. Jan. 19, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Jan. 20, 8:30PM-1AM: FRIDAY NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.

Jan 26th to 29th: Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm weekend

Sat. Jan 28, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle. Hosted by Mr. SD Eagle 2011 Kane. Fourth Sat. of each month.

Sat. Feb.4, 9PM-3AM: ANVIL CLUB up in the San Fernando Valley. I give it a rave review here. Upcoming dates include Mar. 24 (LA Leather), April 21(Sports Gear), June 23, August 24 (Rubber), Oct. 20 (Uniforms) and Dec. 15.

Sat. Feb. 18th: Mr. SD Eagle Contest. More details will be posted as they arrive.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Upcoming Events

I made an error in my last few postings - the Men's Discussion will NOT be happening on Wednesday the 14th, it will be on Wednesday the 21st. 

The next BELT party will be in April (details will be sent out as they come in). The photos from the first BELT Party are INCREDIBLY beautiful, artistic and hot!

I have been expressly invited to do some flogging on this Friday night at the Eagle for their PORN PARTY, but I will be back at the Men-Only Beat and Greet on Friday, December the 30th.  If you want to learn about being on either end of the flogger, you're particularly welcome to come right up to me at these events and tell me so.  I have taught hundreds and hundreds of beginners since 1977!

The Mr. SD Eagle contest will be on Saturday, February 18th.  Be sure to let the folks at the Eagle know if you would like to see that contest happening at the Center's main auditorium, followed by an after-party at the Eagle. Let's twist Nicholas' arm! That contest has become so popular that there simply isn't room for a single additional attendee at the Eagle any more.  San Diego's Tribe has gotten so unified and numerous that we can EASILY fill that huge Center auditorium several times over.

The ANVIL CLUB party in the San Fernando Valley is happening this weekend. I'm already over-committed to Holiday Parties, so I won't be there, but if you have the opportunity, you really should go enjoy it.  You'll remember it for the rest of your life!

-=-=-=-=-=- UPCOMING EVENTS

Wed. Dec. 14, 7-10PM: FilmOut San Diego presents RENT at the Birch North Park Theatre, with a Meet and Greet with Special Guest Anthony Rapp. $10 cash at the door, and bring extra cash for the fabulous raffle items!

Wed. Dec. 14, 7-11PM: TNG social event at Bamboo Lounge. TNG stands for "The Next Generation", which is a kinky social group for younger men and women from 18 to 35 years old. This particular event is in the style of a group discussion. Third Wednesday of each month.

Thu. Dec. 15, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Dec. 16, 8:30PM-1AM: FRIDAY NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.

Friday,  Dec 16 at 10:30pm; PORN PARTY: R&B Productions and COLT Studios present COCKTAILS WITH THE STARS with guest Phillip Aubrey from "Muscles in Leather" at the Eagle.

Sat. Dec. 17th, 9PM-3AM: ANVIL CLUB up in the San Fernando Valley. I give it a rave review here.

Wed. Dec. 21, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month.

Sat. Dec. 24, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle. Hosted by Mr. SD Eagle 2011 Kane. Fourth Sat. of each month.

Fri. Dec. 30, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as March 30, June 29, August 31 and Nov. 30th of 2012. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment.

Sun. Jan. 1, 5PM, CIGARS & BOOTS on the patio at Redwing Bar & Grill, hosted by California LeatherSir 2010 Miles B. First Sun. of each month. If you like a low-pressure, comfortable event with men that you can relate to, this one is for you. 

Wed. Jan. 4, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Jan. 4, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, hosted by Beep and San Diego Puppy Play (SDPP). First Wed. of each month.

Thu. Jan. 5, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri, Jan. 6, 7-9PM; SDLOG EDUCATIONAL EVENT: Usually, the first event of the year is the Planning Meeting, where decisions are made about future events.  First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Centerby the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University.

Sat. Jan. 7, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers. $5 cover. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews.

Thu. Jan. 12 at 9pm till 1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle.  Second Thu. of each month

Fri. Jan. 13, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle; 2nd Fri. of each month. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct.FebruaryMarchAprilJune and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.

Sat. Jan. 14, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHT at the Eagle. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.

Jan 26th to 29th: Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm weekend

Sat. Feb. 18th: Mr. SD Eagle Contest. More details will be posted as they arrive.

Men's Discussions

First and Third Wednesday of each month, 7-9:30PM.



What it's about: Originally, this discussion-series was supposed to be an experiment, but it took off like a rocket. It's designed to be a way for men to meet in a quiet, safe space and share what is on our minds on topics such as relationships, sex, techniques, philosophy, our personal histories, and what is important to us at the moment.

The group is never too big, or too small - It's always lively, friendly and never, ever boring. It's NOT locked-in, inflexible or particularly focused - the discussions get going where they need to go, and there isn't much filler - It's juicy stuff.

The way to tell if it's a success is to notice what happens during the break. NOBODY wants to leave... It's all yak-yak-yak between excited, happy and secure men, with nobody sending texts or browsing Grindr, ignoring the men around them.

We are all intensely interested in the new guys, who fit in right away.  It's a warm, welcoming space where we can share wisdom, ask questions without anybody judging us, and have our names be remembered by guys that we like.

In short, we are providing what the Internet can't - Body-language, pheromones and hugs. If this sort of thing interests you, come check us out. I promise that you will be very welcome.

Friday Night Beat and Greet


Hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, Caryl, Mike Underwood, Josh,  Jerry and PuP

Downtown San Diego Dungeon - Email for information - addresses below.

8:30 pm - 1:00 am -- Doors close at 11:30pm!

The Friday Beat and Greet is usually held on the 3rd and 5th Fridays of each month.

This event is open to people age 18 and above.

Soft drinks and water will be available at the dungeon, we are asking for $1.00 donation for each drink.

This social/ impact play event is for friendly people who would like to learn more about flogging, paddling and the like. We'll be demonstrating techniques on eager volunteers and curing the curiosities of those who have questions. Nothing too wild, just pleasantly kinky enough to bring a smile that lasts a while!
Please bring a flogger, paddle, cane or two with you, if you have one.  This will help you learn with your own toys.  If you do not have toys,  we do have toys you may use. 

Do not be intimidated by coming to a dungeon or being in the night life of Downtown San Diego, this event is open to all levels of experience,
and beginners are particularly welcome. If you're new to this sort of thing, you can always trust that you'll end up with a positive experience. You'll be surrounded by very, very nice folks who have a lot of expertise and a deep level of trust with each other. We've been doing this a long time, and we like to share what we now.

This is not your typical BDSM event, it's not a fundraiser, a workshop, or a class really. Even though teaching and learning will be involved,
Friday Night Beat and Greets are just a pleasant way to share some good times in a relaxed kinky setting. We all need to get the heck out of the house once in a while - why not hang out with some folks that enjoy doing what you enjoy doing?

There is no charge to attend the event, we just ask that you leave any Attitude outside the door, be playful and open-hearted!

Things to keep in mind for this event:

This event is held in a private space; however, you are responsible for your own actions at all times. Safety measures will be in place during
the event. Please bring a valid ID and be prepared to sign a liability form. All information given will be kept confidential.

Because Dungeon Servitus resides within the confines of a residential and commercial building, we ask that you act and dress appropriately
anywhere outside of the dungeon.

Anyone behaving in a manner that is considered inappropriate will be asked to leave the property and may not be allowed reentry for future
events. The decisions of the Dungeon Servitus staff and hosts are final.

Please note a few things about the Beat and Greet:
1) The maximum capacity is 50 people. There is a chance you may be asked to wait until someone leaves before being permitted to enter.

2) In order to allow everyone a chance to try things, we ask that you limit your time on the play equipment to a short time. If there are
people waiting, we may ask you to wrap up your time on the equipment after 10 minutes.

3) This is a community event that is hosted by members of the community. Membership in any club or organization is not required.

For more information about the Beat and Greets, please contact Bryan at info@beatandgreet.com or Caryl at caryl-cx@earthlink.net 

Hope to see you there!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Review of Last Night's BELT Party

In my previous posts, I've talked about the BELT Party ("Smells Like Folsom") that happened last night on December 8th at Eden. It was everything that I was hoping for. The pictures from the event may be viewed here.


AMIABLE. The single word that I would use for the overall vibe was "amiable".  Yes, it was kinky, exotic, jammed, passionate, lusty, hardcore and exciting, but the main thing that really stood out for me was how good-natured everybody was.  JUST LIKE THE FOLSOM STREET FAIR.  If you've never been there, it's a completely comfortable day for the cops who are on duty that day - Nobody harshes on anybody else, everybody is accepting of the most outrageous behavior (or garments), and the tone for the day is "I'm flying my freak flag way up high, just like everybody else - ain't it grand?" 

So, there was a lot of hugging, kissing, dancing and overall celebrating going on last night. Big grins all around, lots of teeth showing.  The nicest, most open-minded folks were the people having the most fun. The BELT party was probably a bit of a mind-blower for a good number of the attendees, because it was their first experience of how sweet and affectionate our local kinky community has become. Men were practically throwing themselves at me to get on the FMSD mailing-list, because this event gave them a juicy, flavorful taste of Real Tribe, and they definitely wanted more.

Many thanks to the men on this list who showed up to be supportive - you made a big difference, you showed the new guys what brotherhood looks like, and it speaks well for your good natures!

DIVERSE. I can't remember the last time I've attended a social dance event in San Diego that was so balls-out celebratory of human variety. Everybody there was doing their damnedest to be gorgeous and fully self-expressed. I didn't see any factions hissing and spitting at each other; no clumps of any particular "type" - Just really happy people roaring and hugging with good will, slowly being joined by shy newbies who eventually figured out how to get closer to that same mood. I loved watching the newcomers getting more and more involved in the fun around them.

CONCISE. No amount of money can buy credibility, and no dance-hall (no matter how opulent) is enough to keep people there until 2AM - It was hard to get people to LEAVE. No breakthrough event like this ever succeeds randomly - The organizers of this event worked like beavers every single day for weeks, to create the perfect environment for magic to occur on the night of the event. It was very difficult for me to nail them down individually last night, long enough to get a word in, because they were focused like lasers on making the space as welcoming, safe and available for fun as possible.  They earned every bit of their success, the hard way.

I've hosted a LOT of dance-parties, and it usually takes several months (and multiple discouraging attempts) to build up this much momentum and good-will. Clearly, these are seriously well-loved people who have gained a lot of gravitas by keeping their word all along. Their credibility is what allows them to gather a constituency that believes in them,

I will be interviewing the team soon, and taking pictures, so that everybody clearly knows who the newest movers-and-shakers are.

TRIBAL. The DJ was magnificent. I didn't have to wait, and wait, and wait for the music to finally get good enough to dance to - It was ALL superb, and exactly what I needed to work my kilt on the dance-floor. All around, there was kinky behavior - Flogging, caning, bondage, electrical-play and paddling. Go-go boys (the kind that love and own the fetish-gear they were wearing) worked the platforms, while the lusty crowd kept swirling around, through and along with the performers. Everybody was high as hell on the endorphins of Communal Joy.

CROWDED. I'm pretty confident that the owners of the venue are taking us all VERY seriously now, after such a large turnout. Frankly, there were at least four times more people there than I expected for a first event, and on a Thursday night. I was so pleased to be wrong. So, I predict that people are going to start demanding more: more events like this one, more often, and on primo Saturday nights. I don't think that the folks at Eden would have any objection to any of it, given how the first one went.

I can't wait for the next party from this crew - They have been majestic, powerful champions for what the next phase looks like in our community. Speaking as somebody who vividly remembers the 1970's, I say screw the old days - Bring on the future. It looks GREAT!!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Upcoming Events

I will be demonstrating (and teaching) flogging and Violet Wand techniques at the BELT Party on Thursday, and anyone reading this has a Gift Certificate to join in the fun with me!  I'm glad to say that the Men's Discussions are finally back, after an oddly-configured calendar last month. Daddy Dan has written a wonderful article at Leatherati.com about San Diego events. Here are some pictures from the Naughty Santa Benefit at Special Delivery - Those people are saints!  Today was my 56th birthday, and I've been swamped with messages of love all day - Who would ever want more than that?

-=-=-=-=-=-UPCOMING EVENTS

Wed. Dec. 7, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Dec. 7, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, hosted by Beep and San Diego Puppy Play (SDPP). First Wed. of each month.

Thu. Dec. 8, 10PM-2AM: BELT Party. A new tradition for San Diego's Fetish community, with kinky demos, wild entertainment and a new community vibe. At Eden in Hillcrest, across the street from RICHs.

Thu. Dec 8 at 9pm till 1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle.  Second Thu. of each month

Fri. Dec. 9, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle; 2nd Fri. of each month. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct.FebruaryMarchAprilJune and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.

Sat. Dec. 10, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHT at the Eagle. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.

Sun. Dec. 11, 5PM, CIGARS & BOOTS on the patio at Redwing Bar & Grill, hosted by California LeatherSir 2010 Miles B. First Sun. of each month. If you like a low-pressure, comfortable event with men that you can relate to, this one is for you. 

Wed. Dec. 14, 7-10PM: FilmOut San Diego presents RENT at the Birch North Park Theatre, with a Meet and Greet with Special Guest Anthony Rapp. $10 cash at the door, and bring extra cash for the fabulous raffle items!

Wed. Dec. 14, 7-11PM: TNG social event at Bamboo Lounge. TNG stands for "The Next Generation", which is a kinky social group for younger men and women from 18 to 35 years old. This particular event is in the style of a group discussion. Third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Dec. 14, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month.

Thu. Dec. 15, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Dec. 16, 8:30PM-1AM: Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.

Friday,  Dec 16 at 10:30pm; R&B Productions and COLT Studios present Cocktails with the Stars with guest Phillip Aubrey from "Muscles in Leather" at the Eagle.

Sat. Dec. 17th, 9PM-3AM: ANVIL CLUB up in the San Fernando Valley. I give it a rave review here.

Sat. Dec. 24, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle. Hosted by Mr. SD Eagle 2011 Kane. Fourth Sat. of each month.

Fri. Dec. 30, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as March 30, June 29, August 31 and Nov. 30th of 2012. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment.

Thu. Jan. 5, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri, Jan. 6, 7-9PM; SDLOG EDUCATIONAL EVENT: Usually, the first event of the year is the Planning Meeting, where decisions are made about future events.  First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Centerby the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University.

Sat. Jan. 7, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers. $5 cover. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews.

Jan 26th to 29th: Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm weekend

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A SPECIAL REQUEST FROM PAPA TONY

As you probably know, I don't make a penny off of my public work - Never have, never will.  I do it out of a deep desire for better days in our community.  I do this stuff with a cheerful heart, and I love every part of it. 

Now, I want to ask for something in return:

If you care about having our local Tribe be cohesive, affectionate, and vibrantly alive, then please make an extra effort to attend this Thursday night's BELT party.  

Here's why:

It's a big effort by young men who are our community's future - They want to create a new, four-times-a-year tradition that evokes the pleasure we feel when we attend big events like the Folsom Street Fair. They deserve to succeed, and I am certainly going to be there to show my support.  

This is a huge, risky, messy and crazy-exuberant, wild-ass experiment, and we need lots of those if we're ever going to have better times in the decades to come. The same old stuff isn't going to sustain us much longer - the demographics, viewpoints and larger culture are changing.

As I say all of the time, I've got great ideas, but they are the ideas of an older man with a long gray beard.  The new visions, created by the new talents rising among us, using new perspectives, are where the future lies. 

Many of the men reading this are old enough to be these young men's dads, uncles or grandfathers. Let's do what good men of the Tribe do, and stand shoulder-to-shoulder so that our next generations can stand on our shoulders!

Monday, December 5, 2011

A Special Request from Papa Tony

As you probably know, I don't make a penny off of my public work - Never have, never will.  I do it out of a deep desire for better days in our community.  I do this stuff with a cheerful heart, and I love every part of it. 

Now, I want to ask for something in return:

If you care about having our local Tribe be cohesive, affectionate, and vibrantly alive, then please make an extra effort to attend this Thursday night's BELT party.  Here's why:

It's a big effort by young men who are our community's future - They want to create a new, four-times-a-year tradition that evokes the pleasure we feel when we attend big events like the Folsom Street Fair. They deserve to succeed, and I am certainly going to be there to show my support.  This is a huge, risky, messy and crazy-exuberant, wild-ass experiment, and we need lots of those if we're ever going to have better times in the decades to come. The same old stuff isn't going to sustain us much longer - the demographics, viewpoints and larger culture are changing.

As I say all of the time, I've got great ideas, but they are the ideas of an older man with a long gray beard.  The new visions, created by the new talents rising among us, using new perspectives, are where the future lies. Many of the men reading this are old enough to be these young men's dads, uncles or grandfathers. Let's do what good men of the Tribe do, and stand shoulder-to-shoulder so that our next generations can stand on our shoulders!

Thank you!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

CIGARS & BOOTS SOCIAL

From: Miles B

Come join us and make some new friends.
Sunday December 11th, 5pm
Redwing Bar
Back Patio

Heat Lamps are out and working !!

I will have cigars for $ 5.00. Hoyo de Monterrey. These are normally $ 10.00 in the store. Save some bucks instead of buying them in the store.

Men, women, gay, bi, straight, Leather, fetish, (fill in the blank), all are welcome.

This is NOT a fundraiser and anyone who enjoy smokes or just wants to meet new people are welcome.

Redwing also has a beer bust from 2-6. They have great finger foods and burgers

4012 30th Street

Miles B

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Upcoming Events

After some down-time for Thanksgiving Holiday, the calendar is getting VERY crowded for the next few weeks. I plan to attend quite a few events myself - After doing so much work for clients, I want to be a part of a community again!

-=-=-=-=-=-UPCOMING EVENTS

Thu. Dec. 1, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Friday, Dec. 2, 7-10PM: Inter-Club Holiday Party at the Joyce Beers Community Center, next to  Aladdin restaurant by Ralph's supermarket on University.  I'd love to see lots and LOTS of FetishMen to attend this event, because it's our annual Family Reunion for kinky folks!  Right afterward, shift on over to…

Fri. Dec. 2, 7-10PM.  Grand Opening of the Tom of Finland Foundation Benefit showing. $10 donation to charity for this one day, but the exhibit and sales extend through December 23rd. Art, Prints, Books, Apparel, Gifts. Bring A Tom Of Finland Home For The Holidays!


Sat. Dec. 3, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers. $5 cover. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews.

Sun. Dec. 4, 5PM, CIGARS & BOOTS on the patio at Redwing Bar & Grill, hosted by California LeatherSir 2010 Miles B. First Sun. of each month. If you like a low-pressure, comfortable event with men that you can relate to, this one is for you. 

Sun. Dec. 4, 4-7PM, Special Delivery Holiday Social at 4021 Goldfinch in Mission Hills to benefit one of our best local charities.  Every little bit helps!

Wed. Dec. 7, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Dec. 7, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, hosted by Beep and San Diego Puppy Play (SDPP). First Wed. of each month.

Thu. Dec. 8, 10PM-2AM: BELT Party. A new tradition for San Diego's Fetish community, with kinky demos, wild entertainment and a new community vibe. At Eden in Hillcrest, across the street from RICHs.

Thu. Dec 8 at 9pm till 1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle.  Second Thu. of each month

Fri. Dec. 9, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle; 2nd Fri. of each month. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct.FebruaryMarchAprilJune and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.

Sat. Dec. 10, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHT at the Eagle. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.

Wed. Dec. 14, 2011, 7-11PM: TNG social event at Bamboo Lounge. TNG stands for "The Next Generation", which is a kinky social group for younger men and women from 18 to 35 years old. This particular event is in the style of a group discussion. Third Wednesday of each month.

Wed. Dec. 14, 7-9PM: MEN'S MONTHLY DISCUSSIONS. Moderated by Papa Tony. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. First and third Wednesday of each month.

Thu. Dec. 15, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Dec. 16, 8:30PM-1AM: Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.

Friday,  Dec 16 at 10:30pm; R&B Productions and COLT Studios present Cocktails with the Stars with guest Phillip Aubrey from "Muscles in Leather" at the Eagle.

Sat. Dec. 17th, 9PM-3AM: ANVIL CLUB up in the San Fernando Valley. I give it a rave review here.

Sat. Dec. 24, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle. Hosted by Mr. SD Eagle 2011 Kane. Fourth Sat. of each month.

Fri. Dec. 30, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as March 30, June 29, August 31 and Nov. 30th of 2012. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment.

Jan 26th to 29th: Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm weekend