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Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Leather Fetish Ball, Early-Bird Special Price

From Papa Tony:

Friday, March 17, 2017:


Every year, there is a superb, huge event that really kicks off the social season for the year.  The Leather Fetish Ball is WORTH ATTENDING! The image above this gives the salient details for the 2017 show.  This time around, it has been timed to coincide with the all-new version of the annual San Diego Leather Pride celebration.

Here is the Facebook page link for the Leather Fetish Ball  and the shopping cart, and I predict that it will sell out, so order early!


Every year, there are superb entertainers, huge crowds, and it just flows so beautifully.  This is a GREAT opportunity to dress to impress!  Here is a tiny, tiny fraction of the images from previous years.  It really is this wonderful!












Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Introducing Doriam Couto

Introducing Doriam Couto:


Ever since my energies and ideas have wound down, I have searched for a man who could bring NEW energy and ideas to the huge FMSD social circle. 


As we enter into 2017, a new face has arrived among us. Doriam Manuel Couto reminds me very much of myself, waaaay back when I first stepped into being a community leader, when I was around the same age as he is now. 


He is passionate, idealistic, full of deeply practical ideas, and with deep and razor-sharp insight.  I trust him completely. 


Like me, he has taken the Meyers-Briggs personality test, with a very similar result.  We are rare. Not everyone "gets" us, but oh, my - we get results. 


So, expect to hear a lot from him in the coming months.  But, FAR more importantly:


As a personal favor to me, please support him, and show up for his events. Love him with an open heart, please. This is crucial. I could name a hundred men who rose up, expended a huge amount of idealistic energy, and who then dropped away when they didn't get the loving support that we owe to our youth. 


Let's all stand shoulder-to-shoulder so that this young powerhouse can stand upon our shoulders. Don't pre-judge him by his age, or his Facebook profile. I know the rest of him. Please trust that I have spent solid time getting to know him, and I absolutely vouch for all of his many virtues. 


He is a refreshing breath of oxygen for the community of kinky men in San Diego.  You haven't seen his lists of rock-solid plans going forward, but I have, and I can't think of any way to improve upon them. 


Doriam is the Real Deal.  Welcome to our good brother!

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

January HARNESS Party, with Special Guest: ExplorerFrank

Note from Papa Tony: Now that we are in the holiday season, things are slow. This happens every year.  After the first of the year, people will be well and truly sick of hanging around with co-workers and family. We will be ready for some FUN! 

If you have some bright ideas about upcoming events that would please kinky men, please send them to SignMeUpForEvent @gmail.com


January HARNESS Party, with Special Guest: Explorer Frank

10PM on Friday, January 13, 2017, 
at NUMBERS Bar, 3811 Park Blvd
San Diego, CA 92103-3609


NUMBERS Bar is not going to be around much longer. That entire block is going to be bulldozed, and replaced with high-rise condos.  So, this is one of your last chances to enjoy the classic vibe of this large, welcoming space with other kinky males.


This month, the men of FMSD are the featured guests.  There will be Tops roaming the place, tying up men with ropes, and flogging any men who are eager to have it done RIGHT by wise, experienced men.  Just march right up and ask for your turn!


Best of all, artistic male bondage will be demonstrated by our honored guest ExplorerFrank, whose excellent work has recently been featured in the Advocate.

Annual Inter-Club Holiday Party, December 12th

Note from Papa Tony: Now that we are in the holiday season, things are slow. This happens every year.  After the first of the year, people will be well and truly sick of hanging around with co-workers and family. We will be ready for some FUN! 

If you have some bright ideas about upcoming events that would please kinky men, please send them to SignMeUpForEvent @gmail.com


Annual Inter-Club Holiday Party, December 12th


Note from Papa Tony: This is a fun, team-building event where the men who are most interested in FMSD's future can gather, meet and bond as brothers, while surrounded by loving allies.

This year Club X is having its annual Inter-club Holiday Party on December 12th from 7pm – 9pm at Joyce Beers Community Center. We look forward to the events where we can all come together as a greater community and we hope to see you there!

This is a potluck so we asking people to bring food/drinks to share. You can coordinate this as a group or as individual attendees.

Some of our contingent at a previous Holiday Party.  Gay males are EXTREMELY well-loved at this event.  Send an RSVP to SignMeUpForEvent @gmail.com if you'd like to wear an FMSD t-shirt to this event.
We will have a table set up for you to display any printed materials about your group and/or your upcoming events. And space available if you would like to bring a banner to display.
We are holding a raffle to benefit some local Leather Charities and are looking for raffle item donations. We will recognize your group both in announcement and print when raffling/displaying the items.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

FMSD Will Be Continuing!

From Papa Tony:

I'm back from overseas, and I'm very pleased to see that there is still a hunger for a Kinky Men's mutual-support group in San Diego. Men are stepping up!

As plans currently exist, there will be a Planning Meeting, 7PM on Wednesday, November 16 at the Mural Building:

4133 Poplar Street
San Diego, CA 92105

Speaking for myself, I will be fully supportive of all ideas going forward. The men stepping up are the men that I respect the most, and I rejoice to hear of their plans so far.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Stepping Away from FMSD, and Leadership



From Papa Tony:

It has been a very, very good run, and… Now that I'm almost sixty-one years old, I'm ready for my next phase.  Tonight's Men's Discussion is the last event that I will be hosting for the foreseeable future.  Maybe ever.  I'm okay with that.

I've been a community leader for decades, and it's been an incredible journey. Starting in 1981, I've created a lot of events for the kinky gay leathermen's community that became traditions.  I've hosted thousands (no exaggeration) of dance parties, discussions, annual events, educational classes, potluck socials, bar socials, kinky demos, play-parties, cruising events, and on and on.   I've also gladly helped with many other people's events and fundraisers.

I've invented new forms of kinky play, and I have continued to be a force for creativity and flexibility, in a community that has needed a lighter heart, after going through the flames of AIDS.

I've judged, tallymastered and emcee'd many, many titleholder contests, and other fundraising events. I've photographed many hundreds of public events and posted them online, because we lost so much of our history when so many of us died.

I've written thousands of articles, and made videos and audios.  I've created many websites, social columns, blogs and email lists.  I've mentored hundreds of new, rising stars, and I'm proud to have been the first to see their magnificence before anyone else ever did.  Best of all, I have connected many couples to each other, because I believe in love.

I know how rare that I am - I'm a gay leatherman of my age and experience, who didn't die, and who still stepped out to try to heal a Tribe that lost so much. The wound in our hearts is going to still be around, long after I'm gone, but at least the newer generations are stepping up, and the healing is slowly taking place.

I'm proud of my record.  It hasn't been perfect, but nobody can say that I didn't put my whole heart and soul behind everything that I did.  I like to think that I have been a force for kindness and cooperation… for Strength, versus Force.  I can go into a different kind of future, knowing that  I never held back from taking chances, and lived every day as if it were my last.

So, now what?  My husband Dennis and I are heading off to Europe for the Grand Tour, as a way to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary (we got married in 1991).  After that, it's time for me to work on my own life, after taking care of so many others for so long.

If you see me at a public event, be sure to come up for a sweet, sweet hug. I will never hold back from being present, holding space, and treasuring you, heart to heart.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Magnum's Bon Voyage Dinner: Tuesday, August 23rd

Tuesday, August 23rd, 7-9PM

DiMille's Italian Restaurant, on the patio
3492 Adams Ave (corner of 35th and Adams in Normal Heights)
San Diego, CA 92116-2434



Magnum's Bon Voyage Dinner

Our good brother Magnum is heading out of town permanently, and he will be missed. He has been a rock-steady man of the Tribe for years, and has added value to every event.

This event is our chance to let him know that he will be missed, and why.  Let's send him off to his new adventures, with plenty of love and hugs!


It's hard to find a photo of FMSD events from the last few years that DOESN'T include our good brother Magnum.  When we needed a solid leader, he stepped right up.  He has created and co-created many of our best, most-prestigious events.


Now, it is time for him to move into his next phase in Albuquerque, New Mexico with family.  Let's take this opportunity to thank him for his many contributions, and to send him off with much love.


He has been a fine role-model, a loving friend to many, and a solid example of what a mature, masculine man can be.


If he has touched your life in some meaningful way, please stop by and let him know.

Men's Discussion: My Future Kinks

Wednesday, August 10, 2016:

Rosemary is head of the Lesbian Health Project, 
and is graciously allowing us to meet in the community space.

The FMSD monthly Men's Discussions are now being held in The Mural Building: our new, quiet discussion-space in Azalea Park.

Second Wednesday of every month, 6-9pm

4133 Poplar Street
San Diego CA 92105-4541



Discussion topic:  MY FUTURE KINKS

We may have reached a certain level of perverse participation in particular fetishes, kinks or other forms of intense pleasures, but there are always certain items that are still on the wish-list.

Let's talk about those things that we may be too shy, inexperienced, or wary about, and would like to explore some day!

Monday, July 25, 2016

Magnum's Bon Voyage Dinner @ DiMille's, Tuesday August 2

6PM to 9PM, Tuesday August 2

This event will repeat on the First TUESDAY of each month.

DiMille's Italian Restaurant, on the patio
3492 Adams Ave (corner of 35th and Adams in Normal Heights)
San Diego CA 92116-2434

FetishMen's Social… Meant to introduce kinky men to each other in a pleasant, quiet environment.  Many men want to get away from their computer and phone displays and meet up with possible new friends, to get news about upcoming events, and to become closer to a community that wants to welcome them.

Maybe that's you!

There is no dress code, except no bare ass or tits, brothers.  You don't have to buy anything, either. Your company is what we crave.  Come on by, be relaxed, and get introduced around at your own comfort-level.



Theme for this month: Magnum's Bon Voyage
Hosted by our Tribal Elder brother Jerry Moreau.


It's hard to find a photo of FMSD events from the last few years that DOESN'T include our good brother Magnum.  When we needed a solid leader, he stepped right up.  He has created and co-created many of our best, most-prestigious events.


Now, it is time for him to move into his next phase in Albuquerque, New Mexico with family.  Let's take this opportunity to thank him for his many contributions, and to send him off with much love.


He has been a fine role-model, a loving friend to many, and a solid example of what a mature, masculine man can be.


If he has touched your life in some meaningful way, please stop by and let him know.

Men's Play Party, Sunday, July 31st


Theme:  PUPPY PLAY,

Sunday July 31. @ 1230-430pm

RSVP to cbgood61 @gmail.com for location.

It's a GREAT location, and plenty of fun.  Take a chance!


Monday, July 4, 2016

Reminder: Dinner Social This Week is TUESDAY Night

Due to a conflict with an increasingly-popular "Live Music Night" at DiMille's Italian Restaurant, we have shifted the regularly-scheduled FMSD Social Dinner's schedule.  This allows us to meet outdoors on the patio again:

This social event repeats on the First TUESDAY of each month, starting in July 2016

Tuesday, July 5, 6PM

DiMille's Italian Restaurant, INSIDE on the left, NOT on the patio!
3492 Adams Ave (corner of 35th and Adams in Normal Heights)
San Diego CA 92116-2434

FetishMen's Social… Meant to introduce kinky men to each other in a pleasant, quiet environment.  Many men want to get away from their computer and phone displays and meet up with possible new friends, to get news about upcoming events, and to become closer to a community that wants to welcome them.



Maybe that's you!

There is no dress code, except no bare ass or tits, brothers.  You don't have to buy anything, either. Your company is what we crave.  Come on by, be relaxed, and get introduced around at your own comfort-level.



Wednesday, June 22, 2016

FMSD Men's Discussions: New Meeting Space

Rosemary is head of the Lesbian Health Project, 
and is graciously allowing us to meet in the community space.

The FMSD monthly Men's Discussions are now being held in The Mural Building: our new, quiet discussion-space in Azalea Park.

Second Wednesday of every month, 7-9pm

4133 Poplar Street
San Diego CA 92105-4541

Friday, May 27, 2016

Dinner Social, June 1: Honoring Our Younger Brothers



The theme for this week's dinner social is to introduce some of the newest, youngest men in our community to their loving uncles, new friends and brothers.

Lately, we have been blessed with more than a few younger men who are eager to fit in, learn from us, and contribute in some way.  For us older men, we are their Tribal history, and they are our Tribe's future.

Come join us on the patio at DiMille's, seek out a young, eager face, start up a conversation, and begin a new friendship that adds value to both sides for years to come.




This social event repeats on the First TUESDAY of each month, starting in July 2016

Wednesday, June 1, 6PM

DiMille's Italian Restaurant, INSIDE on the left, NOT on the patio!
3492 Adams Ave (corner of 35th and Adams in Normal Heights)
San Diego CA 92116-2434

FetishMen's Social… Meant to introduce kinky men to each other in a pleasant, quiet environment.  Many men want to get away from their computer and phone displays and meet up with possible new friends, to get news about upcoming events, and to become closer to a community that wants to welcome them.



Maybe that's you!

There is no dress code, except no bare ass or tits, brothers.  You don't have to buy anything, either. Your company is what we crave.  Come on by, be relaxed, and get introduced around at your own comfort-level.





Friday, April 29, 2016

FMSD Social at DiMille's: Bring Donation Items for Homeless Youth

This event will repeat on the First Wednesday of each month.

Wednesday, May 4, 6PM

DiMille's Italian Restaurant, on the patio
3492 Adams Ave (corner of 35th and Adams in Normal Heights)
San Diego CA 92116-2434

FetishMen's Social… Meant to introduce kinky men to each other in a pleasant, quiet environment.  Many men want to get away from their computer and phone displays and meet up with possible new friends, to get news about upcoming events, and to become closer to a community that wants to welcome them.

Maybe that's you!

There is no dress code, except no bare ass or tits, brothers.  You don't have to buy anything, either. Your company is what we crave.  Come on by, be relaxed, and get introduced around at your own comfort-level.



This Month's Theme:  Homeless Youth



From Kurt:

Hello my fellow FMSD guys.

It’s almost that time of year again, when our S.D. Summer finally does get here, that we will have the annual influx of homeless kids, and we are clearly a magnet for them.  Lots of them.  From everywhere!

I’ve mentioned that I help provide white sox and dinner for at least 50 kids, every Friday night.  It became my passion.  Their adolescent brains aren’t yet fully developed, and they sleep outdoors and dig in the trash for food.  I’m just not ok with it.

And one of the things they always ask me for, is White Sox.  White gym sox.  White seems to stay drier and has no dyes.  They always ask me … “Kurt, did you bring us any white sox?”  Even trashed sneakers are also a big winner.  Yea, really cuz they walk a lot, foraging.  Duh.

Next Wednesday, I’ll be at our monthly dinner at DiMille’s, and am extending the invitation to everyone to please look around and see if you have any extra White Sox that maybe have a hole at the toe, or underwears, or an extra Hoodie (it does get cold at 04:00am), sunscreen (they’re always outdoors), razors, t-shirts and jeans / shorts, that you can donate, with you to our dinner.

As Martha S. once said … if you haven’t used it in a year … off-load it.

The bed of my truck will be empty, so just throw what ya don’t need or use anymore into a trash bag and please bring it to our Wednesday dinner, next week on May 4th,ok?

During last winter’s cold rains, we opened up an “on demand” shelter, and bed sheets and pillows are always useful, too.

We now have washer / dryers if stuff needs to be laundered.  They were donated, as was the labor to install them, so the kids can have “clean” clothes.

The labor and hardware was also donated for showers, so the kids can be clean and end their downward spiral, cuz how can you panhandle, or even look for a job if you look like you slept in the bushes?

Btw, statistically 40% of homeless kids are gay.  Just sayin’, that even in 2016, in some parts of America, its still not ok to be gay, much less kinky.  Damn.

Btw #2 … cans of gravy, veggies / fruit and un-cooked pasta can become most anything in our industrial kitchen.  We have a very creative professional chef and he taught me to how to prepare ramen for 100 kids ( all those little packages ), and to stir-fry for 75, and make medallions. ( I didn’t know what that is … cooking was not my kink ).


The newest phrase I’ve learned from the kids is “God Bless You.”  I now say it all the time.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Eagle Bus Trip - Sunday, May 15th



Eagle Bus Trip - Sunday, May 15th, from San Diego Eagle, to bars in Long Beach.

Cost: $45 at the Eagle beforehand.

Lunch and open bar on the bus, with fun times and games!

The Eagle bar opens at noon on Sunday, and the bus will leave at 1PM. Use street parking, as our parking voucher for the lot behind the bar at this time of day is only good for two hours.

We will start at the San Diego Eagle, then onward to:

1) Baddeley’s Pourhouse, 3348 E. Broadway, Long Beach 562-439-7220

2) Sweetwater Saloon, 1201 E. Broadway, Long Beach 562-432-7044

3) Mineshaft, 1720 E. Broadway, Long Beach 562-436-2433

Then, from here we can walk to the Brit and the Falcon

Your bartender and host for the trip, 
the one and only Robb Rodd.

Your co-host is our new Mr Eagle 2016, Michael.

Florentine Flogging Class, Tuesday, May 10, and Very Inexpensive Matched Floggers

Note from Papa Tony:  This is the next class in my Master Class for Tops series.  We lost yet ANOTHER meeting-space a couple of months ago (folks really seem allergic to kinky lessons on their property), but we are trying out a new possibility.



Florentine Flogging Class


6PM, Tuesday, May 10

Florentine flogging is defined as using two floggers at the same time.  I talk about it on this page.

Send an RSVP to SignMeUp4Event @gmail.com to get on the list, and for the location.

You don’t have to be an advanced flogging-Top to take this class - ALL levels of experience are welcome. Travis is a very patient and accomplished teacher. I sat in on his last class, and I consider him to be a much better teacher than I could ever be, based upon the results that he gets from his students.



Inexpensive Matched Floggers



Ideally, before you arrive for the class, you should have two matched floggers.  If you don’t have them yet, GOOD NEWS!  FlogMeBaby.com is having a clearance sale on a special item:


GREEN HORNET FLOGGER
ORIGINAL PRICE: $24.95
SALE PRICE:
  ONLY $15 EACH


I recommend these very strongly.  Yes, they are inexpensive, but they work superbly - I have the red versions, and I love them.  So, buy two, for the fraction of the cost of ONE, elsewhere!


Thursday, April 7, 2016

How To Stay in Touch, and Be A Part of San Diego's FetishMen Tribe

Note from Papa Tony:  As an older man with a terrible memory, I'm painfully aware that I might have missed quite a bit, but never intentionally.  If you have more suggestions, please put them in the comments below!



Here are some, good monthly men’s social events 
to watch out for, and to add to your calendar:

CIGARS & BOOTS, 4-7PM on the first Saturday of each month, followed by

BEAR NIGHT DANCE PARTY (very leather-friendly), 10PM on the first Saturday of the month.

FETISHMEN SOCIAL AT DIMILLE’S - 6PM, first Wednesday of each month, followed by

PUPPY NIGHT AT THE EAGLE - 9PM, first Wednesday of each month.

NORTH COUNTY FETISH MEN'S MONTHLY SOCIAL - Third Sunday of the month, 12:30PM-4:30PM.  For men who live further north.

HARNESS PARTY, 10PM on the second Friday of each month.


-=-=-=-=-

There are many other events that happen, less regularly.  There are ways to stay up-to-date with many, many of them:

If you can, join up with FMSD’s page on Facebook.  That is the best central clearinghouse for upcoming events and community updates.  




Tuesday, March 29, 2016

FetishMen Social


6PM on the  First Wednesday of each month, at

DiMille's Italian Restaurant, on the patio
3492 Adams Ave (corner of 35th and Adams in Normal Heights)
San Diego CA 92116-2434



FetishMen's Social


Meant to introduce kinky men to each other in a pleasant, quiet environment.  Many men want to get away from their computer and phone displays and meet up with possible new friends, to get news about upcoming events, and to become closer to a community that wants to welcome them.


Maybe that's you!

There is no dress code, except no bare ass or tits, brothers.  You don't have to buy anything, either. Your company is what we crave.  Come on by, be relaxed, and get introduced around at your own comfort-level.


Friday, March 25, 2016

North County Fetish Men: Monthly Social!

Note from Papa Tony: Many men live in North County - This is a golden opportunity to meet like-minded men, without the long commute!




Sunday Fetishmen Monthly Brunch Meet-Up

Sunday, April 17, 2016; 12:30PM-4:30PM (3rd Sunday of every month)

Theme: Cock And Balls Torture.

A demonstration first, followed by hands on practical. Guests are welcome to bring their own toys and cocks and balls to share.

Potluck brunch: please bring something to share. Food that's easy to make, or cheap to buy is fine. Sodas and waters will be provided by host, but feel free to bring your special beverages.

RSVP to cbgood61 @gmail.com with number in your party, what food you'll bring, and any questions.

This is at a private home, so please wear street clothes when arriving. You can wear anything at the event (leather, nude), once you have arrived.  just bring towel for bare buns on furniture.

Social areas and play areas will be provided

We are open to ideas from attendees.

Future dates for 2016, unless otherwise specified:

May 15
June 19
July 17
'August 21
September 18
October 16
November 20
December 18