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Friday, August 25, 2017

Fetish Men is on FIRE!

Table of Contents

I. This Week in Kink
II. Ritual Fire & Fire Play Workshop
III. Upcoming Events
IV. From ME to YOU

I. This Week in Kink

Don't forget that Friday, September 1st from 9pm-Midnight, FMSD will be supporting California Drummerboy, Erik Thomas, in hosting Flogging Friday at the San Diego Eagle. We will have a few men present and available to flog, or demonstrate how to throw a flogger. If you've never experienced flogging and would like to get a small taste before Saturday's Party, this is a good place to do it!

Speaking of the Men's Only Party, we're excited to announce that we have upwards of 40 men registered to attend for our Party on Saturday, September 2nd. Ticket Sales will extend until Friday, September 1st for any last-minute attendees. If you're interested in attending and would like to get more information before the event itself, see this blog post or email DoriamFMSD@GMail.Com -- Ticket Sales can be handled through Venmo, Square Cash, or PayPal to secure your spot, if any are left, you can meet Doriam at Flogging Friday!

II. Ritual Fire & Fire Play Workshop (NEW VENUE!)

Sunday, September 10 - 6:30pm to 9:30pm
Fetish Men San Diego in conjunction with Club X San Diego will be hosting RITUAL FIRE; A TRIBAL BONFIRE SOCIAL. We are looking for volunteers to assist in reserving spots in Fiesta Island during the day on Sunday, September 10th. We suggest attendees arrive by 6:30, as sunset is predicted to hit peak-time at 7:00pm. Opening Ceremony will be held at 7'o'clock SHARP.

Ritual Fire will be a night of camaraderie and unity amongst our Brothers and Sisters. Live drumming will echo throughout the night, helping you open yourself to the tribal energy. Some of our local Brothers and Sisters will be engaging in Light- and Fire-Based Performances; we invite anyone interested to bring a swim suit and engage in Fire Photography. Join us as we come together in the ebb-and-flow of energy, connecting at our cores with those who share our most spiritual instincts.

Fetish Men 201 - Fire Play Workshop!
Saturday, September 30th - 3:00pm - 6:00pm
We have secured a new venue for 201+ Classes, which will take place on the Fourth or Fifth Saturday of each month. To commemorate Ritual Fire, we will be having one of our local players teaching a Fire Play Workshop on Saturday, September 25th from 3:00pm to 6:00pm. This workshop will go over how to safely play with various forms of fire, and will allow participants to experience Topping or Bottoming Fire Play in a safe, controlled environment.

Interested in attending? A requested $10 donation will reserve your spot to the event, payment can be made online, and space will be limited. The venue is located in the heart of Hillcrest; and the workshop will take place outdoors. Keep posted for more information!

III. Upcoming Events

FMSD Male-Only Party
Saturday, September 2nd
8:00pm - Midnight
FMSD's first Male-Only party will be held on September 2nd. If you haven't purchased your tickets, message Doriam by 11:59pm on Friday, September 1st to purchase your ticket and get your will-call information! Contact him via DoriamFMSD@GMail.Com

Flux_SD Switch Discussion
Sunday, September 3rd
5:00pm - 7:00pm
Join Flux SD the First Sunday of every month at Mimi's Cafe for a New Switch Discussion Group. Not sure what a "Switch" is? It's a Kinkster who can and does play on either side of the slash, depending on their current headspace. Let's support our Brothers and Sisters as they continue to explore themselves with this new group!

Ritual Fire; A Tribal Bonfire Social
Sunday, September 10th
6:30pm - 9:30pm
As listed above, Ritual Fire will be taking place on Sunday, September 10th. Please remember to arrive between 6:30pm and 7:00pm so as not to miss the opening ceremony, and bring a bathing soon as we will by the water, engaging in several forms of Fire-Play and Light-Performances.

XMen Academy - Men's Health/Stonewall Discussion
Thursday, September 14th:
7:00pm - 9:00pm
Join Club X's XMen! and our Local Titleholders as they lead discussion about Men's Health, and the involvement of the Stonewall Citizen's Patrol. This event is held from 7:00pm to 9:00pm, and a $5 donation is requested of non Club-X Members.

FMSD Demo Night @ The San Diego Eagle
Friday, September 15th:
9:00pm - Midnight
Each Month, we will be featuring a form of Kink/BDSM-style play at our local Leather Bar. Join us from 9pm to Midnight as we demonstrate Shibari/Rope Bondage this month, led by Doriam and Sir Francis!

Fetish Men @ Folsom Street Fair
Weekend of September 22-24th:
Time TBA
Going to Folsom? Celebrate Brotherhood, Camaraderie, and Connection of Man at Folsom Street Fair! This will be the first year for many of the men of FMSD, and we are looking forward to capturing the experience with a Group Photo or Brotherhood Dinner sometime during the weekend! More details to come.

Pet Play Lab with Doriam/Pup Bandit & Kit Karmelit
Saturday, September 30th
12:00pm - 2:00pm
Curious about the wonderful world of Pet/Pup Play? This class, taught at House of Black, is a 101-level introductory class to Pet Play amongst different dynamics of pets. If you are interested in what this kind of play looks like, this may be the class to attend! Doriam teaches the "Top-Side" of Pet Play, as it applies to Handling, Training, and being the Alpha of a Pet Play Dynamic, while his Partner/Co-Teacher Kit Karmelit teaches the "Bottom-Side" of pet play as it regards to engaging as a Pet, identifying your animal, and sculpting play.

Fetish Men Workshop - Fire Play with Justin
Saturday, September 30th
3:00pm - 6:00pm
We are happy to announce that a local member of Fetish Men San Diego has offered up his venue for us to teach 201-level classes. This month, to celebrate our first few big events, we will be hosting a Fire Play Workshop with Justin. His class will teach about the safe-practices to use with Fire, using Fire Wands and how to perform Fire Spankings! Attendees will be welcome to experience Fire from the Top and bottom sides if they so choose, but are welcome to simply attend and observe as well! Space is limited, email DoriamFMSD@GMail.Com to reserve your spot!

IV. From ME to YOU

As you can see, Gents, we are working hard to provide you with a great experience as Members of FMSD. I am still learning all of the ins-and-outs of running this group, and I am still actively looking for more help! If you have ANY insight about what you'd like to see done, events in the past that you'd like to see happen again, constructive criticism to make the group better - I AM HAPPY TO HEAR IT.

I look forward to seeing many of you on Saturday at the Party, the Bonfire on the 10th, and at the Fire Workshop on the 30th! Remember, Brothers -- I, WE, cannot do this without YOU!

In service,
Doriam C

Members/Male-Only Party

Table of Contents:

I. Member's/Male-Only Play Party
II. Guidelines & What to Expect
III. Clarification on Membership
IV: From ME to YOU

I. Member's/Male-Only Play Party

Brothers, join us as we host FMSD's first BIG EVENT of the year. You are invited to attend our Mens-Only Play Party on Saturday, September 2nd.

The inspiration for this party is BDSM, Kink, and Leather. If you've never been to a Play Party
The Main Dungeon is equipped with Two St. Andrew's
Crosses, a Sling, Cage and Massage Cage.
like this, there will be Men in attendance who are more than willing to play with the new folk, and answer questions when appropriate. You'll see: Bondage, Flogging, Rope, Puppy Play, Water Sports, Suspension and more. For first-timers, we will have members of our Leadership Team available to welcome you to the space, as well as Volunteers happy to lend a guiding hand.

The Party will be held on Saturday, September 2nd, 2017 from 8:00pm to Midnight. Doors will close at 10:00PM sharp! House of Black is located in Miramar, between the 805 and 15 freeways near Ballast Point Brewery. The Venue is a 3000 sq.ft. fully-equipped dungeon facility with 7 rooms for attendees to play in.

II. Guidelines & What To Expect

Never been to a party at House of Black or an FMSD Party? See the Play Party & Dungeon Rules below:

Play Party & Dungeon Rules

House of Black is a fully-equipped dungeon with toys available for attendees to use while in the space; however, we do recommend bringing your own toys, tools, and gear as we cannot promise that any specific items will be available throughout the night. If you are curious on whether the toy(s) you'd like to bring are allowed, please email, or ask a Dungeon Monitor.

We Recommend:

Please consider bringing the following.
  • Toys & Gear: Storage areas available.
  • Eating Prior: We will provide light snacks during the party. Please eat before.
  • Towels: There is a shower available for attendees, the shower may also be used for play involving Water Sports.
  • Condoms & Lube: We will provide some, but better safe than sorry.

High-Risk Play:

Please receive approval prior to engaging in the following types of play. You may receive approval by emailing

The Bondage Bedroom is fully equipped with Hard Points for
Rope or Leather Cuffs, Stocks and a Cage underneath.

  • Hoods/Masks (Pup Hoods are allowed)
  • Knives or Scalpels
  • Wax Play
  • Fire Play
  • Water Sports (outside of designated area)

The following are PROHIBITED at this event:
Medical Room with CBT Chair and Inspection Table
  • Scat.
  • Whips longer than 6 feet
  • Guns, Firearms, or Explosives (real or simulated)
  • Cell Phones in the main play-space.
  • Photos or Recording without prior permission.
  • Intrusive odors: Sage, Incense, Cologne, etc.

III. Clarification on Membership

Unlike many of the clubs in San Diego, FMSD does not have a formal membership, instead we welcome all Men who choose to affiliate with us as our Brothers, and Members of Fetish Men. The only 'formal' prerequisite, is that you be Male-Identifying.

For 201+ Classes, we ask that attendees have a basic understanding of BDSM/Kink/Leather because it is a faster paced class. If you are new to the community as a whole, you are welcome to email any person on the FMSD Leadership Team and ask for someone to join you at one of the intro classes hosted in San Diego. We will do our best to find someone to attend the event with you whenever possible.

Additionally, we have two forms of Contact on Facebook. @FetishMenSD is a Like Page which you can Like or Follow for regular updates about general events happening in the community, or events in which we welcome FMSD and other groups to attend. Fetish Men San Diego is a private group on Facebook where we post our FMSD Exclusive events, or events with a BDSM/Kink/Leather theme to abide by Facebook Terms of Service. If you are not a member of the group page, please submit a message to @FetishMenSD asking to be added and we will gladly do so!

IV. From ME to YOU

This is quickly becoming my favorite part of the Newsletters to write, as it requires much less formal-speech and allows me to speak with you both individually and as a whole. I am very excited to put on this event for the Membership, I look forward to seeing everyone together at the party, and hope that you all enjoy the event in-action as much as I have enjoyed putting it together.

I am looking for 2-4 Men to help before the party begins, and after the party ends, to assist in putting the space together. While the rooms are already set up, there are areas we'd like to rearrange. If you can make yourself available for either an hour before or an hour after, please email me at:

Additionally, if you have anyone who you'd like to bring to the party, please let me know! I will be at the Eagle this Sunday (08/27/2017) starting at 4PM for Ticket Sales, and will be available throughout the week leading up to Thursday, August 31. If you would like to reserve yourself a ticket and cannot pay the full price currently, we have volunteer spots available, or other arrangements can be made.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend, and I look forward to seeing you soon!

In Service,
Doriam C

Monday, August 14, 2017

A New Kind of Ritual

Table of Contents:

I. Member's Only Party
II. Ritual Fire & Ritual Steel
III. New & Rebuilt Bridges
IV. Events & Volunteers
V. From ME to YOU

 I. Member's Only Party

We're just two weeks away from our first Member's Only Party of the year! Ticket sales are being handled by Doriam. Space is limited. Please plan ahead by contacting Doriam at:

There will NOT be any Door Sales for this event. Ticket Sales end 08/31.

II. Ritual Fire & Ritual Steel

Together, we will build a stronger community.

Join us Sunday, September 10th, from 6:30pm to 9:30pm, at Fiesta Island Park, as Fetish Men San Diego in conjunction with Club X San Diego host Ritual Fire: A Tribal Bonfire Social.

Ritual Fire will be a night of camaraderie and unity among all members of our community. Live drumming to help open yourself to the tribal energy, and get in touch with your inner rhythm. Local kinksters from FMSD and Club X will be performing various feats of Fire Play throughout the night. It is our hope that we can all share in the ebb and flow of energy, while indulging our most spiritual needs.

Looking for more? Club X in conjunction with Edgewalkers is producing Ritual Steel: An Xtreme Tribal Experience a night filled with Tribal, spiritual energy. On Saturday, October 21st, join together in the WorldBeat Cultural Center in Balboa Park for a one-night event, three years in the making. Ritual piercing, hook pull, flesh suspension, and more. You don't want to miss this event from 6:00pm till midnight.

Earlier in the day, special guest Elwood Reid will host a presentation discussing the history and intent behind many global body-based rituals. This 2-hour educational discussion will be open to the public for $10, and is included in your ticket price for Ritual Steel. Presentation attendance is offered free with your ticket, but is not required in order to participate in the evening event.

Purchase your tickets now by following this link.
Read more about RITUAL STEEL at the Club X Events page.

III. New & Rebuilt Bridges

It is my distinct pleasure to announce that Fetish Men San Diego will be working hand-in-hand with several groups, businesses, and title holders in our community to build a strong foundation where new, experienced, and up-and-coming Leathermen, kinksters, and community members can grow together. Starting in September, FMSD will be hosting more events alongside California Drummerboy Erik Thomas, and the San Diego Eagle, scroll down for more information on those!

We have ALSO found a potential venue for 201+ classes and workshops. One of our own members has graciously offered his space for us to use, we will be announcing these classes on Fetlife, Facebook and on these newsletters after confirming that the space will work. Ticket Sales will be done on-line, and space will be limited. More information to come.

IV. Events

Beat Your Drum @ The Eagle - Friday, August 18th, 10pm - Close
Join us in supporting California Drummer and Drummerboy at The San Diego Eagle. The theme this month will be Rubber, Latex, and Neoprene -- but all gear is welcome!

Flogging Friday @ The Eagle - Friday, September 1st, 10pm - Close
Bring your favorite Flogger to the Eagle on 09/01 - whether that be a person or a toy, is your call. The crosses and posts will be set up for willing participants to experience flogging.

Fetish Men Member's Only Party - Saturday, September 2nd, 8pm - Midnight
Don't forget to purchase your tickets by contacting Doriam at -- Ticket sales end AUGUST 31st! Doriam will be at the Eagle EVERY SUNDAY leading up to the party for their Sunday BBQ from 4-7, and can meet up several days throughout the week!

Ritual Fire: A Tribal Bonfire Social - Sunday, September 10th, 6:30pm - 9:30pm
We are looking for Volunteers to help reserve space at the venue, and also looking for Fire
Play Performers for the night.

If you are interested, please reach out to: or

Fetish Men Friday @ The Eagle - Friday, September 15th, 9pm - Midnight
Join us for FMSDs newest event - Fetish Men Friday! The Eagle has allowed us to take over one night each month to introduce our Brothers to FMSD by showing the skills that we most enjoy! This month, Doriam will be leading the charge, demonstrating one of his favorite hard skills - Rope Bondage a.k.a. Shibari!

Other Events Coming Up:
08/17 (Thr) - Club X - Shibari 101 - Introductory Rope Class, Pleasures & Treasures, 7pm - 9pm
08/19 (Sat) - Club X - Open Party - Game On!
09/09 (Sat) - House of Black - Locker Room - BDSM & Swing Crossover Party
09/14 (Thr) - Club X - XMEN ACADEMY - Men's Health w/ MrSDL17
09/24 (Sun) - Folsom Street Fair (+ FMSD at Folsom, details to come)
09/?? (TBD) - Fetish Men 201+ Workshop (date to be confirmed)

V. From ME to YOU

I first wanted to say "Thank You" for those of you who reached out after the last newsletter went out! We are working diligently to build up Fetish Men San Diego, and are so happy to hear that what we're doing is being responded to well by YOU, our Brothers.

Now, I am humbly asking for your help; in order to get these events off the ground, I need assistance - whether that be in setup, or tear-down, teaching classes, leading discussions, whatever capacity you are willing to help, I would appreciate it! If you are interested in finding out how you can help your fellow Brothers succeed, email!

In Service,
Doriam Couto

Saturday, August 5, 2017

You've Got Male! - An intro and a plan

Table of Contents:

I. An Introduction
II. Events
III. Volunteerism
IV. From ME to YOU

Howdy Gents,

Papa Tony introduced me back in THIS blog post as stepping up as the new leadership for Fetish Men San Diego. Since then, many of you haven’t heard much from me due to life happening, but with the dust settled, I am hoping to take several steps forward! But first, allow me to re-introduce myself:

I. An Introduction

My name is Doriam Couto. I’m 24 years old, have lived in San Diego for 6 years, have been active in the Leather, BDSM, Kink, and Fetish community since 2015, and identify as a Homoflexible Male. I currently serve on the board/staff of three organization, including: President/Leadership for Fetish Men San Diego, Board of Directors for Club X San Diego, Host for Club X’s XMen, and Bartender/Pet Lab Instructor for House of Black. I regularly attend events for All Tied Up and SAN-PAH in addition to events hosted by Club X and House of Black.

Prior to stepping up to leadership in the community, I was the Event Manager for a bar in Hillcrest, which sparked my interest in running and planning events across the board, and have been running my own business for 3 years. In the 8 months since I was handed the keys to Fetish Men San Diego, we’ve hosted a few events, but not as many as I had anticipated when I first began. With new excitement, and a willingness to grow, I plan to change that over the next several weeks!

II. Events

FMSD Skills Workshop - TBA

We are working currently on finding a venue where we can host a 2-3 hour skills workshop for the members of FMSD. With the costs of rental space going up and up, and the premise of what it is that we do, it has been difficult to solidify a space! If you know of a space that can accommodate up to 12 people comfortably, please let us know by contacting Doriam at


August 10th - XMen Danger Room: Rough Body Play

In addition to working with FMSD, we’ve been working with Club X to create a Men’s Group where all men could feel comfortable: XMen! XMen hosts one event each month, alternating between Demo and Discussion -- this month, we will have @Fluffywumplekins teaching us all about the wonderful world of Rough Body Play on August 10th. Previous topics have included Sounding, Power Exchange, Electroplay, and Men’s Health. This event occurs on the Second Thursday of each month at Pleasures & Treasures from 7-9pm - as this is a Club X event, there is a $5 requested donation of non-Club X members.

mens party 11.jpg

September 2nd - FMSD Member’s Only Party

RSVP on Facebook or Fetlife
Many of you asked for it, and we’re delivering. On September 2nd, FMSD will host its first Member’s Only Party at House of Black in Mira Mesa. We are scheduled to have the venue for 4 hours from 8-Midnight for a BDSM focused play party amongst our Brothers. Ages 18+, Drugs & Alcohol are not allowed at this party, tobacco smoking & vaping are permitted on the patio. Interested in purchasing a ticket? Contact Doriam at or through Facebook! Ticket Sales end on August 31st!

This Sunday, 6 August 2017, Doriam will be at The San Diego Eagle’s BBQ from 4pm till 7pm to meet you and help you with ticket sales. See you there!

RItual Fire.jpg

September 10th - Ritual Fire: A Tribal Experience

Leading up to Ritual Steel in October, Fetish Men San Diego has partnered with Club X to produce Ritual Fire. Ritual Fire will be a night of tribal energy and camaraderie amongst our brothers and sisters in the community, where we will share stories and get to know the people who share our interests. We are looking for Volunteers to help reserve space at the venue! More information coming soon.

Fetish Men At Folsom

An informal event, but an event none-the-less! We’d like to join together with our brothers from across the globe at Folsom Street Fair on September 24th! Keep posted for more details!!

Hook Pull 2017.jpg

October 21 - Ritual Steel: An XTreme Tribal Experience

Gather in the World Beat Center on Saturday, October 21 for a one-night event, three years in the making. Live drumming, ritual piercing, hook pull, flesh suspension and much more. This may not be an FMSD Event, but let’s support our Brothers and Sisters in Club X and Edgewalkers, and enjoy this one-of-a-kind experience.

III. Volunteer Opportunity

You may have noticed that this is a lot coming up in the next few months, and we need YOUR help to do them! We are looking for volunteers to assist us in getting the word out that Fetish Men San Diego is Alive and Well and that we are looking to continue growing as a Brotherhood! If you are interested in lending your time, skills, or are curious as to what you might be able to bring to the table, contact Doriam at

IV. From ME to YOU
I wanted to end this post with something a little less formal. I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your patience leading up to this point; I understand that there have been points at which I have failed you, and I accept that there will be points where I will fail again, but it is my goal to minimize these failures. I hope that you will come with me, and with the rest of our Brothers, to create a community that honors brotherhood, camaraderie, and creates a space for Men to be Men.

In Service,
Doriam Couto