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Monday, August 14, 2017

A New Kind of Ritual

Table of Contents:

I. Member's Only Party
II. Ritual Fire & Ritual Steel
III. New & Rebuilt Bridges
IV. Events & Volunteers
V. From ME to YOU

 I. Member's Only Party

We're just two weeks away from our first Member's Only Party of the year! Ticket sales are being handled by Doriam. Space is limited. Please plan ahead by contacting Doriam at:

There will NOT be any Door Sales for this event. Ticket Sales end 08/31.

II. Ritual Fire & Ritual Steel

Together, we will build a stronger community.

Join us Sunday, September 10th, from 6:30pm to 9:30pm, at Fiesta Island Park, as Fetish Men San Diego in conjunction with Club X San Diego host Ritual Fire: A Tribal Bonfire Social.

Ritual Fire will be a night of camaraderie and unity among all members of our community. Live drumming to help open yourself to the tribal energy, and get in touch with your inner rhythm. Local kinksters from FMSD and Club X will be performing various feats of Fire Play throughout the night. It is our hope that we can all share in the ebb and flow of energy, while indulging our most spiritual needs.

Looking for more? Club X in conjunction with Edgewalkers is producing Ritual Steel: An Xtreme Tribal Experience a night filled with Tribal, spiritual energy. On Saturday, October 21st, join together in the WorldBeat Cultural Center in Balboa Park for a one-night event, three years in the making. Ritual piercing, hook pull, flesh suspension, and more. You don't want to miss this event from 6:00pm till midnight.

Earlier in the day, special guest Elwood Reid will host a presentation discussing the history and intent behind many global body-based rituals. This 2-hour educational discussion will be open to the public for $10, and is included in your ticket price for Ritual Steel. Presentation attendance is offered free with your ticket, but is not required in order to participate in the evening event.

Purchase your tickets now by following this link.
Read more about RITUAL STEEL at the Club X Events page.

III. New & Rebuilt Bridges

It is my distinct pleasure to announce that Fetish Men San Diego will be working hand-in-hand with several groups, businesses, and title holders in our community to build a strong foundation where new, experienced, and up-and-coming Leathermen, kinksters, and community members can grow together. Starting in September, FMSD will be hosting more events alongside California Drummerboy Erik Thomas, and the San Diego Eagle, scroll down for more information on those!

We have ALSO found a potential venue for 201+ classes and workshops. One of our own members has graciously offered his space for us to use, we will be announcing these classes on Fetlife, Facebook and on these newsletters after confirming that the space will work. Ticket Sales will be done on-line, and space will be limited. More information to come.

IV. Events

Beat Your Drum @ The Eagle - Friday, August 18th, 10pm - Close
Join us in supporting California Drummer and Drummerboy at The San Diego Eagle. The theme this month will be Rubber, Latex, and Neoprene -- but all gear is welcome!

Flogging Friday @ The Eagle - Friday, September 1st, 10pm - Close
Bring your favorite Flogger to the Eagle on 09/01 - whether that be a person or a toy, is your call. The crosses and posts will be set up for willing participants to experience flogging.

Fetish Men Member's Only Party - Saturday, September 2nd, 8pm - Midnight
Don't forget to purchase your tickets by contacting Doriam at -- Ticket sales end AUGUST 31st! Doriam will be at the Eagle EVERY SUNDAY leading up to the party for their Sunday BBQ from 4-7, and can meet up several days throughout the week!

Ritual Fire: A Tribal Bonfire Social - Sunday, September 10th, 6:30pm - 9:30pm
We are looking for Volunteers to help reserve space at the venue, and also looking for Fire
Play Performers for the night.

If you are interested, please reach out to: or

Fetish Men Friday @ The Eagle - Friday, September 15th, 9pm - Midnight
Join us for FMSDs newest event - Fetish Men Friday! The Eagle has allowed us to take over one night each month to introduce our Brothers to FMSD by showing the skills that we most enjoy! This month, Doriam will be leading the charge, demonstrating one of his favorite hard skills - Rope Bondage a.k.a. Shibari!

Other Events Coming Up:
08/17 (Thr) - Club X - Shibari 101 - Introductory Rope Class, Pleasures & Treasures, 7pm - 9pm
08/19 (Sat) - Club X - Open Party - Game On!
09/09 (Sat) - House of Black - Locker Room - BDSM & Swing Crossover Party
09/14 (Thr) - Club X - XMEN ACADEMY - Men's Health w/ MrSDL17
09/24 (Sun) - Folsom Street Fair (+ FMSD at Folsom, details to come)
09/?? (TBD) - Fetish Men 201+ Workshop (date to be confirmed)

V. From ME to YOU

I first wanted to say "Thank You" for those of you who reached out after the last newsletter went out! We are working diligently to build up Fetish Men San Diego, and are so happy to hear that what we're doing is being responded to well by YOU, our Brothers.

Now, I am humbly asking for your help; in order to get these events off the ground, I need assistance - whether that be in setup, or tear-down, teaching classes, leading discussions, whatever capacity you are willing to help, I would appreciate it! If you are interested in finding out how you can help your fellow Brothers succeed, email!

In Service,
Doriam Couto

Saturday, August 5, 2017

You've Got Male! - An intro and a plan

Table of Contents:

I. An Introduction
II. Events
III. Volunteerism
IV. From ME to YOU

Howdy Gents,

Papa Tony introduced me back in THIS blog post as stepping up as the new leadership for Fetish Men San Diego. Since then, many of you haven’t heard much from me due to life happening, but with the dust settled, I am hoping to take several steps forward! But first, allow me to re-introduce myself:

I. An Introduction

My name is Doriam Couto. I’m 24 years old, have lived in San Diego for 6 years, have been active in the Leather, BDSM, Kink, and Fetish community since 2015, and identify as a Homoflexible Male. I currently serve on the board/staff of three organization, including: President/Leadership for Fetish Men San Diego, Board of Directors for Club X San Diego, Host for Club X’s XMen, and Bartender/Pet Lab Instructor for House of Black. I regularly attend events for All Tied Up and SAN-PAH in addition to events hosted by Club X and House of Black.

Prior to stepping up to leadership in the community, I was the Event Manager for a bar in Hillcrest, which sparked my interest in running and planning events across the board, and have been running my own business for 3 years. In the 8 months since I was handed the keys to Fetish Men San Diego, we’ve hosted a few events, but not as many as I had anticipated when I first began. With new excitement, and a willingness to grow, I plan to change that over the next several weeks!

II. Events

FMSD Skills Workshop - TBA

We are working currently on finding a venue where we can host a 2-3 hour skills workshop for the members of FMSD. With the costs of rental space going up and up, and the premise of what it is that we do, it has been difficult to solidify a space! If you know of a space that can accommodate up to 12 people comfortably, please let us know by contacting Doriam at


August 10th - XMen Danger Room: Rough Body Play

In addition to working with FMSD, we’ve been working with Club X to create a Men’s Group where all men could feel comfortable: XMen! XMen hosts one event each month, alternating between Demo and Discussion -- this month, we will have @Fluffywumplekins teaching us all about the wonderful world of Rough Body Play on August 10th. Previous topics have included Sounding, Power Exchange, Electroplay, and Men’s Health. This event occurs on the Second Thursday of each month at Pleasures & Treasures from 7-9pm - as this is a Club X event, there is a $5 requested donation of non-Club X members.

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September 2nd - FMSD Member’s Only Party

RSVP on Facebook or Fetlife
Many of you asked for it, and we’re delivering. On September 2nd, FMSD will host its first Member’s Only Party at House of Black in Mira Mesa. We are scheduled to have the venue for 4 hours from 8-Midnight for a BDSM focused play party amongst our Brothers. Ages 18+, Drugs & Alcohol are not allowed at this party, tobacco smoking & vaping are permitted on the patio. Interested in purchasing a ticket? Contact Doriam at or through Facebook! Ticket Sales end on August 31st!

This Sunday, 6 August 2017, Doriam will be at The San Diego Eagle’s BBQ from 4pm till 7pm to meet you and help you with ticket sales. See you there!

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September 10th - Ritual Fire: A Tribal Experience

Leading up to Ritual Steel in October, Fetish Men San Diego has partnered with Club X to produce Ritual Fire. Ritual Fire will be a night of tribal energy and camaraderie amongst our brothers and sisters in the community, where we will share stories and get to know the people who share our interests. We are looking for Volunteers to help reserve space at the venue! More information coming soon.

Fetish Men At Folsom

An informal event, but an event none-the-less! We’d like to join together with our brothers from across the globe at Folsom Street Fair on September 24th! Keep posted for more details!!

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October 21 - Ritual Steel: An XTreme Tribal Experience

Gather in the World Beat Center on Saturday, October 21 for a one-night event, three years in the making. Live drumming, ritual piercing, hook pull, flesh suspension and much more. This may not be an FMSD Event, but let’s support our Brothers and Sisters in Club X and Edgewalkers, and enjoy this one-of-a-kind experience.

III. Volunteer Opportunity

You may have noticed that this is a lot coming up in the next few months, and we need YOUR help to do them! We are looking for volunteers to assist us in getting the word out that Fetish Men San Diego is Alive and Well and that we are looking to continue growing as a Brotherhood! If you are interested in lending your time, skills, or are curious as to what you might be able to bring to the table, contact Doriam at

IV. From ME to YOU
I wanted to end this post with something a little less formal. I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your patience leading up to this point; I understand that there have been points at which I have failed you, and I accept that there will be points where I will fail again, but it is my goal to minimize these failures. I hope that you will come with me, and with the rest of our Brothers, to create a community that honors brotherhood, camaraderie, and creates a space for Men to be Men.

In Service,
Doriam Couto