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Friday, September 28, 2012

A Special, SPECIAL Request

This request is very, very meaningful for me. If I have to make this request every single day, or chase you down and tackle you in the street until you promise to honor my request, I'll do it!

Short version:

Please bring your friends to the new, monthly HARNESS leathermen's dance party at Numbers this next Friday, October 12th, at 3811 Park Blvd.

Long version:

First of all, I make ZERO money off of this, and nobody I know personally makes any money off of this. However, this is a big, BIG deal for every one of us, like nothing you can imagine. This is why:


Take a good look at this picture. Imagine this crowd, but dancing with our hearts completely full of communal joy. Imagine having this group of men (but in much, much bigger numbers) dancing like happy, open-hearted three-year-olds together for years, and never having a single thing go wrong. Visualize never being able to imagine that anyone could ever be rude, snobbish, or treating anyone shabbily. Imagine being able to TRUST that every time we get together, we will hit Diva Overload as a Tribe, over and over, and stagger home with everyone's good wishes, feeling superb.

How on earth could something like this be true?  Easy. We've got it in our nature, and in our history.

Many of you may not know this, but I hosted a leathermen's dance party for years. It was called RAMPART, and it was legendary. It was the exact opposite of your typical "Circuit Party", where you would arrive lonely and never get much better after that, unless you happen to bring a small circle of friends, like a protective coating.

This ain't like that at ALL.

Joy doesn't work if only a few, elite people get it, while everyone else feels like crap. Joy works best when EVERYBODY shares in it. Back when I was hosting that dance-party, EVERYBODY was dancing four feet off of the ground, grinning like apes, with their shirts off, and sweating like pigs, all shoulder-to-shoulder and affectionate.

EVERYBODY shirtless on the dance-floor - ALL ages, all colors, all body-styles.  As I told every single new, shy man that arrived, the only kind of people that we actively and aggressively discriminate against is…

Grumpy People.

This time around, it will be even better. Why? Because it won't just be ME greeting the new guys, giving each man the Official Welcoming Message and helping them fit in and get with the Tribal program. I can't be everywhere at once, though I did pretty well, back when I was hosting between 400 and 600 men EVERY Friday NIGHT for 2-1/2 years, ending around 2006.

This time around, we will have dozens of Community Representatives, like we had at the BELT Party a few months back. These men's job will be to enjoy the party just like everyone else, but if they see somebody standing off to the side, clearly looking shy and lonely, they will go right up to that guy, and make sure that he gets introduced around. If we are going to be a successful tribal society, we have to keep reaching out and bringing more of our brothers back into the Tribe. 

Otherwise, we're just a clique. We can't do that any more.

So, please come out and show your support. Not for the bar, though I'm sure that they are very nice people. 

Come out and INVEST in better days for all of us.  Put some skin in the game. Feel like you have a stake in something much, much bigger than our petty little private concerns and considerations. By getting the momentum started NOW, instead of waiting to see what happens, the HARNESS dance party (specifically for leathermen) can start out as a smash hit, and stay that way.

We need this.  All of us.  A dependable, joyful and long-lasting tradition that we can all count on.

I'll get the party started, like I always do, even though I'm old, fat and gray. I plan to keep dancing for the rest of my life, until they roll me away on a gurney.

Come dance with me and your brothers! 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Vote for Dan's Porn!


From: Dan Guida, owner and operator of DICK WADD PRODUCTIONS, a thriving porn shop operating out of La Mesa, California.  Dan is a long-time friend of mine, and he has a message I would like to pass along:

Hello, friend!

I hope this finds you well.  

I'm overwhelmed and excited that my company, Dick Wadd Media, has been nominated for 10 European Gay Porn Awards and I'd like to ask you to take a few minutes of your time to vote for us, since these awards are very prestigious and winning them will help propel our business forward.  

To vote, please go to the website http://www.hustlaball-award.com 
We have been nominated in the following categories:

our actors:
-  "Mathieu Paris" has been nominated for the "BEST BOTTOM" nomination.
-  "Jim Ferro" has been nominated for the "BEST FETISH ACTOR" nomination.

our films:
- "Piss break" was nominated for the "BEST GROUP SCENE" nomination.
- "Piss break" was nominated for the "BEST FETISH FILM" nomination.
- "Berlin Fist Fuckers" was nominated for the "BEST GROUP SCENE" nomination.
- "BBC Chronicles" was nominated for the "BEST ETHNIC THEMED FILM" nomination.

our studio:

- "DICK WADD MEDIA" was nominated for the "BEST STUDIO (US)" nomination.

our director:

-  "Dick Wadd" (That's me!) was nominated for the "BEST DIRECTOR (US)" for the movie "Piss break".

our websites:
- "dickwadd.com" was nominated for the "BEST STUDIO WEBSITE" nomination.
- "dickwadd.com" was nominated for the "BEST SEX WEBSITE" nomination.


Please vote for us in those categories.  You must vote the complete ballot or your vote will not count.  They will ask you to register online, then will send you a confirmation link that you can use to actually vote.  

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR VOTING!  Remember also to vote in the upcoming election.  Every vote makes a difference.  

Be well!

Dan



DANIEL GUIDA
8548 Boulder Drive
La Mesa, CA  91941-5506

(619) 567-6965 Home/work
(619) 750-2677 Cell

Email:  guida@cox.net
Skype:  bigdaddyca

Upcoming Events


Things are changing fast in San Diego. We're getting more choices, and they are much better choices. We are swamped with community leaders, volunteers and champions of all types. Every event is a success, and every new member gets a bit overwhelmed from information overload.  There are much, much worse problems for a community to have! 

By the way - we are now at over 3,200 members. Every day, there are more.

RECENT ARTICLES

Social Column - Send in your local business' Classified Ad (and keep our money local), you REALLY want to read Aaron's blog, and San Diego men at Folsom Street Fair.


EVENT UPDATES


Since a while bunch of us are starting up the new LEATHER NIGHT SAN DIEGO initiative starting in October, the Dress It Up/Strip It Down monthly gear event is NOT going to be on the second Friday of each month - according to what I'm hearing, it will be replaced by the WOLFS REVISITED back room party, and I think that's wonderful. That way, the dance party at Numbers can be supplemented with a very different vibe at the Eagle, so that everybody has a tasty buffet of choices. Once the schedule is re-arranged, you'll know more about Dress It Up's new place on the calendar.


GAY DAYS AT DISNEY,  OCTOBER 5-7, 2012



Up until now, I hadn't known about it. Who wants to go with other San Diegans in a group? If you do, RSVP with papatony@ mac.com - Don't forget to wear red!




FETISH MEN SAN DIEGO COMMUNITY GEAR SHOOT

Saturday, September 29, 2012, noon-3PM

Fetish Men San Diego Community Gear Shoot with San Diego photographer David Gray


Slap on your leather, muzzle yourself and toss on your collar, slide into your rubber and belt up your flogger to get a professional photograph taken and spruce up your portfolio or your Recon profile! David Gray, the man behind YogaBear Studio of San Diego who has the most amazing eye for the iconic male form will be doing the honors. 

Simply check in with Michael Perry at mmlp@ cox.net to provide your info (name and email for sending finished digital copies of your photographs) and the signing of the model release. David will be doing individual shots, duos, three ways, and some groups also. 

Refreshments, music, and the best company around will make for a stunner FMSD event. There's no charge for this event.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Sat. Sep 29, noon-3PM: Fetish Men San Diego Community Gear Shoot with San Diego photographer David Gray. Free of charge.



Saturday, Sep. 29 from 9PM-1:30AM: Hey, all you horn dogs - the Eagle is hosting Wolfs Revisited, Part II. The last one was legendary, and this next one will be on the night of the full moon!  It gets awfully dark in there...

Sunday, September 30: AIDS Walk San Diego


Wed. Oct. 3, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS. . This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. EVERY Wednesday of each month. Past topics: Tips for bottoming for the first time, dealing with excessive religious programming, how to deal with unwelcome attention (without being a jerk), and so on. This is where you can bring your questions and get them answered!


Wed. Oct 3, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way, hosted by Dayton O'Connor. First Wed. of each month.


Thu. Oct 4 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. First and Third Thu. of each month.


Fri, Oct 5, 7-9PM; SDLOG educational event. First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Center, by the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University.

Oct 5-7: Gay Days at Disney Who wants to go with other San Diegans in a group? If you do, RSVP with papatony@ mac.com - Don't forget to wear red!



Sat. Oct. 6, 4-7PM: CIGARS & BOOTS.  Bourbon Street, at 4612 Park Blvd is our new host bar.  This event is now on the first Saturday of every month at our new location. Join us for 1/2 priced pitchers of beer and $4.25 Smirnoff cocktails. Don't worry about eating before you come, as the kitchen will be open. Don't forget that Saturday night at Bourbon Street beginning at 7:30pm is the Dream Girls Review. We will have cigars available for purchase. Please come out and join us whether you are a seasoned smoker, or curious to learn.  Here are some reviews.

Sat. Oct. 6, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers, at 3811 Park Blvd. $5 before 10PM. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews

Wed, Oct 10, 7PM: Men's Discussion: Men's Discussion: PLANNING THE FUTURE. Second Wed. of each month. This week's discussion is usually set aside to talk about what is coming up, and what we want to do about it. Get the news ahead of everybody else!

Thu. Oct 11, 9pm-1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Second Thu. of each month


Fri. Oct 12, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way; 2nd Fri. of each month. Hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct.FebruaryMarchAprilJune and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.


Sat. Oct 13, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHTat the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.


Wed, Oct 17, 6PM SHARP. Meeting of Community Representatives for the next BELT Party on October 27th. Get on the list, get the freshest news, become part of the super-successful team. These are the men who you really want to invest in as friends!


Wed. Oct 17, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS.. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. EVERY Wednesday of each month. This week's discussion is meant for a single theme, and it's usually tied in with the following Wednesday's hands-on demo.



Thu. Oct 18, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Oct 19, 8:30PM-1AM: FRIDAY NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.




Sat. Oct 20, 9:30PM-2AM: LL Bear Dance Party @ Rich's, at 1051 University. Third Saturday of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event. Shirtless with a harness appears to be the dress code! 


Wed. Oct 24, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONSThis has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. EVERY Wednesday of each month. The fourth Wednesday is usually set-aside for a hands-on demo/show and tell. More coverage of practical technique.



Sat. Oct 27, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Fourth Sat. of each month. Everyone is invited to strip down to those boxers, briefs or "street" legal jocks and join in the fun, you do not have to enter the contest. Although our 1st prize is $100 Cash and 2nd prize is a $25 bar tab., Clothes check opens at 10pm and the contest will be held at midnight. Your evening will be hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012, Eli



Sat. Oct 27, 9PM onward at Numbers, at 3811 Park Blvd It's the next BELT Party, called "Where the Wild Things Are". You really need to put your friends on Red Alert Status. This event happens four times a year, and it has become the premier social event of every season.


November 8-11: Palm Springs Leather Pride - Get your VIP tickets soon: they are going fast!

Fri. Nov. 30, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as Nov 30 of 2012, and Mar 29, May 31, Aug 30 and Nov 29 of 2013. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment.

FETISH MEN SAN DIEGO COMMUNITY GEAR SHOOT


Saturday, September 29, 2012, noon-3PM

Fetish Men San Diego Community Gear Shoot with San Diego photographer David Gray


Slap on your leather, muzzle yourself and toss on your collar, slide into your rubber and belt up your flogger to get a professional photograph taken and spruce up your portfolio or your Recon profile! David Gray, the man behind YogaBear Studio of San Diego who has the most amazing eye for the iconic male form will be doing the honors. 

Simply check in with Michael Perry at mmlp@ cox.net to provide your info (name and email for sending finished digital copies of your photographs) and the signing of the model release. David will be doing individual shots, duos, three ways, and some groups also. 

Refreshments, music, and the best company around will make for a stunner FMSD event. There's no charge for this event.

Social Column

"CLASSIFIED ADS" NEWSLETTER COMING SOON: 
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS

I will be posting my semi-annual "Classified Ads" issue of this newsletter in the next few weeks. In the meantime, it's time for you to start writing about your local business. Be sure to tell me the facts: WHO your target market is, WHAT you do, WHERE you are located, and most important of all:

Tell me WHY you are doing what you are doing - what pleases you, what drives you to do this sort of work, and what you would brag about to your best friend if given the chance.  I will collect the responses and post them in a special issue.

I do this collection of listings as a public service. In a crappy economy, it's wonderful to keep our money local, and within the Tribe if possible. Let's support our brothers who share our interests!

A MAJOR NEW SOURCE OF FRESH ENTERTAINMENT

Casey, Aaron and Matthew.

Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron has been vigorously adding new entries to his blog.

He's keeping a constant log (23 posts in 21 days!) of what it's like to be representing San Diego's Tribe in many cities and communities, using pictures and text. It's entertaining as hell, and I strongly recommend subscribing to his posts. He's planning to run for International Mr. Leather 2013 in Chicago in May, and it's a blast watching him get ready.

The newest avalanche of images and stories concern local events, and his first-ever trip to the Folsom Street Fair:

I couldn't help but notice how skillfully he avoided shallow, meaningless human contact during Folsom weekend… He tells me that he wanted to spend the whole weekend being close with affectionate, accepting and good-hearted people. It says a lot of good things about him.

SAN DIEGO IN SAN FRANCISCO

Photo by Dangilo

Plenty of San Diegans made it up to San Francisco for the Folsom Street Fair this last weekend. There are lots and lots of pictures floating around, and I recommend Photos by BIRON as an excellent starting-place.  You can spend hours checking out the photos, and you will be constantly surprised. See how many San Diegans you can spot at the Street Fair - Here are a few to get you started.


VOTE FOR DAN'S PORN!


Dan Guida and I have been friends for many years. He runs a VERY perverse, utterly twisted kinky porn shop that continues to thrive, and he would like his brothers in the community to throw him a few votes, so stop on by and lend him a hand...

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

HARNESS Party


Cub Club SD presents HARNESS


10:00pm until 2:00am
Held on the 2nd Friday of every month;

Cub Club and Numb3rs Nightclub will present HARNESS, a monthly Leather/Gear event...You are always welcome to come out as you are, but LEATHER GEAR is encouraged, the least you can do is THROW ON A HARNESS!

This new event will feature...LEATHER MEN, PORN STARS, MUSCLE DADDIES, TATTOOED GUYS, PUPS, OTTERS, WOLVES, AND CUBS!

With a rotating roster of kick-ass DJs and leatheratti hosts, we are sure entice the fuck out of you. We kick off San Diego's newest LEATHER night with DJ Ryno, who will be spinning Dirty House sounds to promote close DANCING and CRUISING in the dark.

STRAP UP. BUCKLE UP...and come take a ride.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Upcoming Events



There are events from Wednesday through Saturday. Such a busy week!  This would be a VERY good newsletter to read in detail. There are new things/big plans/exciting changes coming up that you won't want to miss.

Here's a note from Mr. San Diego Leather 2010 Anthony, who is a leather crafter:

Anthony wrote: "Happy Monday! I had a great weekend. Made & sold a lot of leather gear for guys going to Folsom. I will be working day shift this week if anyone needs something made. I also stepped out after work and attended events over the weekend hosted by Aaron Duke, Eli Correa, Nick Nicholas, FMen SanDiego, Cub Club SD at San Diego Eagle and Rich's San Diego.. Thank you to the hosts and clubs for having these events and giving everyone a reason and venue to get geared up and have fun. Big Hugs! :)"
And, I got this from Dangilo, who took over the LL Bear party at RICH's this last Saturday and made it all kinky-like, with the eager cooperation of many FMSD men:
Dangilo wrote: "I mentioned earlier in the week, when meeting with the amazing crew at Rich's San Diego, we wanted to bring LLBear back to the masculine.scuffy-man, BEAR-centric vibe that it started with year ago. They trusted me with a night that is, "San Diego's Largest Leather, Levi, and bear event" Well, I guess if you build it.... they will come. An absolutely huge amount of gratitude and thanx to my leather brothers & good friends here in San Diego. Last night's, LLBear was a meaty, beefy, furry, masculine romp clad in leather, rubber, and rope. Huge thank you to Anthony Rollar Papa Tony Lindsey Aaron Duke Matthew Walker Eli Correa Jay Heimbach , Sir Ian Lewis, and Scottie Tidwell for the authentic energy and experience level. THANK YOU, this is just the beginning of the new, NEW."
SAN DIEGO AIDS WALK 2012
Hi friends, this year I put a team together to represent the Fetish Men San Diego with the help of the San Diego Eagle. We have currently raised $815 thanks to the support of our wonderful community. We are just $185 from reaching our goal of $1000. Please click this link to make a donation and help us obtain our goal!
RECENT ARTICLES

Review of the First Anniversary STUD Night. The largest collection of men in gear I've ever seen in the Eagle, not counting the Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 contest in February. Both events had a line outside.

Status Report: What's Going On in San Diego's Tribe - In which I try to explain why the Eagle had a line outside it on Friday night that lasted until 1:30AM, and was filled with deliriously happy men.



EVENT UPDATES


Folsom Street Fair this weekend in San Francisco. Many men will be out of town for it.  Come back with lots of pictures, guys!  I want to live vicariously through you!  I will be here continuing to pay off my surprisingly large and unexpected tax bill, instead of joining y'all in San Francisco.

Be aware that there will be a monthly Leathermen's Dance called "HARNESS" at Numbers on the second Saturday of each month. This will be coordinated with the Eagle's calendar so that people can flow from one event to the other as the desire arrives. Synergy will make more people come out and gear up!

Speaking of synergy, the BELT Party on October 27th will be coordinated with events in multiple locations, like the last time: Start with the Costume Contest at Nightmare on Normal Street, then go frolic at Numbers for the the BELT party, swing by the Eagle for some manly activities, and then (if we can coordinate it), maybe swing by the tubs for a Red Hankies event!  Tell me if this intrigues you

The VIP tickets for Palm Springs Leather Pride in November are going fast. It's only seven weeks away! It's a big, beautifully put-together weekend, and you really want to go. It's an awesome gathering of folks from all over Southern California. I'll be there!

UPCOMING EVENTS


Wed, Sep 19, 6PM SHARP. Meeting of Community Representatives for the next BELT Party on October 27th. Get on the list, get the freshest news, become part of the super-successful team. These are the men who you really want to invest in as friends!


Wed. Sep 19, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. EVERY Wednesday of each month. This week's discussion is meant for a single theme, and it's usually tied in with the following Wednesday's hands-on demo.


Thu. Sep 20, 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. First and Third Thu. of each month.

Fri. Sep 21, 8:30PM-1AM: FRIDAY NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy 2010, tiger - Ms San Diego Leather 2010, caryl - San Diego's premier Sea Monkey Trainer, and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. Third Fri. of each month. This is a GREAT educational event if you want some hands-on training in a safe environment.


Friday, Sep 21, 9PM-2AM; FMSD is hosting the annual FOLSOM IN EXILE Party at the Eagle. This is for the folks (like me) who are low on cash, but still wanting to enjoy the spirit of the Folsom Street Fair here in San Diego. Gear up if ya got it, or wear as little as you dare. 


Sat. Sep. 22, 10pm: Underwear Party and Contest at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Fourth Sat. of each month. Everyone is invited to strip down to those boxers, briefs or "street" legal jocks and join in the fun, you do not have to enter the contest. Although our 1st prize is $100 Cash and 2nd prize is a $25 bar tab., Clothes check opens at 10pm and the contest will be held at midnight. Your evening will be hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012, Eli


Sunday, September 23: Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.


Wed. Sep 26, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONSThis has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. EVERY Wednesday of each month. The fourth Wednesday is usually set-aside for a hands-on demo/show and tell. More coverage of practical technique.



Saturday, Sep. 29 from 9PM-1:30AM: Hey, all you horn dogs - the Eagle is hosting Wolfs Revisited, Part II. The last one was legendary, and this next one will be on the night of the full moon!  It gets awfully dark in there...

Sunday, September 30: AIDS Walk San Diego


Wed. Oct. 3, 7-9PM: MEN'S DISCUSSIONS. This has turned out to be ideal for building friendships by getting to know men outside of the bar/cruising scene. EVERY Wednesday of each month. Past topics: Tips for bottoming for the first time, dealing with excessive religious programming, how to deal with unwelcome attention (without being a jerk), and so on. This is where you can bring your questions and get them answered!


Wed. Oct 3, 9PM: PUPPY NIGHT at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way, hosted by Dayton O'Connor. First Wed. of each month.


Thu. Oct 4 9-PM-Midnight: Yellow Hankie Social Night at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. First and Third Thu. of each month.


Fri, Oct 5, 7-9PM; SDLOG educational event. First Friday of each month. at the Joyce Beers Community Center, by the Aladdin restaurant near Ralph's supermarket on University.





Sat. Oct. 6, 4-7PM: CIGARS & BOOTS.  Bourbon Street, at 4612 Park Blvd is our new host bar.  This event is now on the first Saturday of every month at our new location. Join us for 1/2 priced pitchers of beer and $4.25 Smirnoff cocktails. Don't worry about eating before you come, as the kitchen will be open. Don't forget that Saturday night at Bourbon Street beginning at 7:30pm is the Dream Girls Review. We will have cigars available for purchase. Please come out and join us whether you are a seasoned smoker, or curious to learn.  Here are some reviews.

Sat. Oct. 6, 9PM-2AM; BearNight Dance at Numbers, at 3811 Park Blvd. $5 before 10PM. First Sat. of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event, and it comes highly recommended… Here are some reviews

Wed, Oct 10, 7PM: Men's Discussion: Men's Discussion: PLANNING THE FUTURE. Second Wed. of each month. This week's discussion is usually set aside to talk about what is coming up, and what we want to do about it. Get the news ahead of everybody else!


Thu. Oct 11, 9pm-1am; Red Hankie Social Night at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Second Thu. of each month


Fri. Oct 12, 9PM-1AM: DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way; 2nd Fri. of each month. Hosted by Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli. It's the nicest, friendliest crowd you'll see at a leather bar. Here are a few reviews, if you haven't been to one yet. Dress to impress if you've got the gear, or show us some skin - I promise you'll be glad that you did. Here are some pictures from Oct.FebruaryMarchAprilJune and September. Notice how HAPPY everybody is. You deserve to be that happy too.


Sat. Oct 13, 9PM onward: UNIFORM NIGHTat the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. Wear Military Gear or Civil Uniform Gear. Second Sat. of each month.


Sat. Oct 20, 9:30PM-2AM: LL Bear Dance Party @ Rich's, at 1051 University. Third Saturday of each month. Lots of leathermen attend this event. Shirtless with a harness appears to be the dress code! 


Sat. Oct 27, 9PM onward at Numbers, at 3811 Park Blvd It's the next BELT Party, called "Where the Wild Things Are". You really need to put your friends on Red Alert Status. This event happens four times a year, and it has become the premier social event of every season.


November 8-11: Palm Springs Leather Pride - Get your VIP tickets soon: they are going fast!

Fri. Nov. 30, 8:30PM-1AM: MEN-ONLY Fri. NIGHT BEAT AND GREET, downtown, hosted by Bryan Teague - American Leatherboy and Mike Underwood - San Diego's very own Curmudgeonly teddy bear. The Men-Only version is on the FIFTH Fri. of each month, such as Nov 30 of 2012, and Mar 29, May 31, Aug 30 and Nov 29 of 2013. There will be hands-on training for folks who want to learn from experts in a very safe environment.

Status Report: What's Going On in San Diego's Tribe

GOOD WILL.

That's the first thing that I want to mention. Right now, in Late September 2012, San Diego's local FetishMen community is utterly swamped with good will. It's coming at us from every direction - Our sisters and brothers in the local community, friends in other cities, and of course, within our brotherhood itself.

I mention this because each separate person within a community needs a solid foundation of trusted, dependable friends in order to thrive as an individual. If we are all feeling like a big mess of stressed-out, isolated and lonely satellites instead of as a cohesive solar-system, then it shortens our lives, makes life much harder and blocks us from reaching the highest levels of human achievement.

Right now, many of us don't have that problem. The numbers of happy, satisfied and relaxed local gay FetishMen are rising rapidly. We don't have to worry that the Law of the Jungle is suddenly going to erupt, scattering us and breaking our hearts. We can now focus on the truly joyful methods of human interaction…

Hugs, in particular.

I was photographing the recent STUD Night event at the Eagle. I wish that I had taken the time to photograph the line outside, which lasted until 1:30AM!  I was inside, having a great time, and clearly, so was everyone else. I took a series of photos like this one:


In retrospect, I wish that I had taken a moment to ask the guys onstage to hang on for a minute, while I really should have clambered up next to them, to turn around and photograph the crowd watching.

The entire first row of the audience was CUDDLING.  Arms wrapped around each other, caressing and snuggling. This wasn't some A-List clique, enjoying themselves while they sneered at other people's exclusion. I think you could have shuffled the crowd around pretty thoroughly, and the front row would still have ended up in Cuddle Mode.

At least ninety percent of that massive assemblage of men were FMSD veterans, who have attended enough events to know that they can be as nice as they want to be, and that everything will work out great. Years of positive experience have made us all pretty sassy.

Here is the payoff:

We now have lots and LOTS of dynamic, energized and idealistic young men who are doing everything they can, in order to be better men of the community. We are swamped with new leaders and volunteers (many, many more than I have mentioned so far). Each event is exploding with good will and unity of purpose, thank to their efforts.

More and more men are taking ownership of their Dominant natures, to the joy of the boys in town. You wouldn't believe how many new Flogging Tops have arrived on the scene lately. There's a new, cocky swagger that we haven't seen enough of, in years past. More and more men are learning the Champion Strut, and have excellent reasons to use it.

You might have noticed that we have a LOT of events, every week. In the early days of FMSD, I had to create new stuff just to get the ball rolling. Now, I don't have to do anything except sit back and applaud while the new generation handles everything superbly, creating new, exciting breakthrough events that provide us with immense numbers of happy choices.

We could never have gotten to this point if we had constant changes and stressful turf-wars. New leaders would have had their hearts broken and would drop away, never to be heard from again. Since we don't have that problem (as we did decades ago), we can keep improving as a Tribe.


We are now evolving as a community to a VERY high level of personal and social fulfillment. Every event is now "crowd-sourced". This means that:

- Everyone who shows up as a general attendee is polite, affectionate and ready to cooperate. If plans change, everybody shifts in unison.

- Every volunteer does everything they can to achieve the desired result that everyone craves, and then gets rewarded for their hard work.

- Every leader can take some risks and still succeed, because the whole crowd arrives with enormous amounts of good will and shared intentions.

- Nothing goes off the rails, because everybody there helps keep the festivities moving in a mutually-agreed direction.

Before the event even gets announced, a big, swirling mass of community-minded men start networking with each other over text messages, email, phone-calls and face-to-face coffee chats. They are brainstorming over what could happen that would add flavor and excitement to the event.

They are not making "safe", bland, dependable choices. They feel confident enough to go wild with new, risky and breakthrough ideas. They can get away with these youthful indiscretions because everybody finds their results charming and fresh.

After only 27 months, FMSD has transformed into a new kind of group organism. There are a lot of new things coming up that I haven't mentioned because every detail hasn't been lined up yet. Just be aware that it would be a really good idea to pay attention to my newsletter over the next few years. San Diego's reputation as The Laboratory Of New Ideas is only going to increase.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Review of the First Anniversary STUD Night

On Friday, September 14, the men of FetishMenSanDiego came together at the Eagle to enjoy our monthly DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN gear night. On this one night, the Eagle was also celebrating its first-year anniversary STUD NIGHT (an excuse to bring men out to meet porn stars up close!)

Not only that, but Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron and his crew were fundraising for AIDS WALK 2012, featuring Eagle bartender Robb Rodd manhandling generous donors in a massage chair to raise money for charity.

This event was so popular, there was a line outside the Eagle that lasted until 1:30AM! The best part was that it was one of our largest gatherings of men in gear - Harnesses, leather, fetishwear and some eye-popping ensembles. I wish I had thought to call everybody outside for a group photo, but at midnight, the lights went OUT, and the men were rather distracted from that point onward...


We were joined by three beautiful men who are well-known in the local porn industry - Preston Steel, Dominik Ryder, and Dayton O'Connor. Dominik was our guest from Orange County, while Preston and Dayton are currently very active and effective community leaders here in San Diego. Preston hosts the Yellow Hankies nights at the Eagle on the first and third Thursday of each month, and Dayton hosts the Puppy Play Night on the first Wednesday of each month.


Preston did a superb job of running the event. He is a natural, charismatic Master of Ceremonies, interviewing Dominik and Dayton, keeping things moving along briskly, handing out goodies to the crowd, and keeping the drunken rowdies in line. The goodies included porn DVD's, and signed posters from the recent, stunningly powerful photo-session to promote Eagle events.


That's Ron on the left, picking up the posters he won. Ron's going to be running for Mr. San Diego Leather next year.




Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron showed his red Nasty Pig jock and won a porn DVD, and got to take Dominik's tank top off.

If anybody out there is STILL trying to say that "nothing ever happens in San Diego's leathermen's community," he's living in his own reality.  We are now at the point where every event is growing in size and friendliness.  

Out-of-towners at the this event were pleasantly shocked at how joyful, unified and LOUD everybody was. The Tribal roar was incessant once the main event was over.  Over and over again, I'd ask a new guy what the sound signified to him, and every one of them said that we all sounded very happy.

That's San Diego for you!