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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Dancing Starts in NOVEMBER, with a HUGE DIFFERENCE

The folks at the Flame discovered that the previous manager had promised the October FMSD dance party's date to other people previously.  So, we will start the FETISHMEN TEA DANCE in November, in order to have more time to spread the new theme around:

Not to seem too mysterious, but our first FETISHMEN TEA DANCE is going to be so far outside the box you won't believe it.  I've been running the new concept (I just came up with it today) past a bunch of trusted fetishmen in town, and they agree that this will be unlike any dance party you've ever attended, but in a superb, celebratory and thoroughly Tribal way.  It's going to be massive. EXACTLY what FMSD is all about. People will be talking about this one for years.  Seriously.  I'll prove it.

More soon - I must get some rest. I've been stumbling over my words and my thoughts because I haven't fully recuperated since Folsom - Too busy working. I want to tell all, in a way that spreads the joyful news everywhere, and effectively. You'll be the first to know, as soon as I do it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN at the Eagle, Oct. 16

DRESS IT UP/STRIP IT DOWN with FetishMenSanDiego

9PM and onward, Saturday, October 16, 2010
3040 North Park Way, San Diego,  CA 92104-3626
(619) 295-8072

Wear your hottest, sexiest gear - Leather, uniform, rubber, fetishwear. You know - the stuff that you can never find a good reason to wear in public, so that it normally gathers dust in your closet. It's time to shake the dust off!  If it makes your dick hard when you wear it, we want to see it.

Or, if you don't have any of that stuff, we want to see you with your shirt off.

We really, really do.

At this point, when I'm greeting a new guy at an event, and I tell him that, he gets all hung-up, worried that his body isn't "perfect enough". SCREW that. We're ALL worried about not being able to match up to the heavily-photoshopped porn that we see every day.  

Here's the good news - At FMSD events, you can be yourself... relaxed, happy and secure.  We want every age, every color, every body-syle, every experience-level. There's no "A-List" here. We are all on the same level, and we are all dying to relax and leave the concerns outside.  We're gay men in 2010, and we all know what a dick looks like, so the sex part is handled already. 

Now, it's time to add in even more brotherhood.

At our last event like this, everybody clustered together within about a foot of each other, leaving the rest of the bar empty. It was so very Tribal.  This event's going to be even bigger, because it's on a Saturday night.

If it's brotherhood you've been wanting, then get your ass away from the computer - The Real Thing is here. We want you to be with us.  Just be a nice man, be proud of who you are, and you're in.

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Call for Deejays for FETISHMEN TEA DANCE!

It's official - The new, transcendent dance party is coming:

FETISHMEN TEA DANCE: From 4-8PM at the Flame in Hillcrest. Hosted by

Fourth Sunday of the month, starting October 24th. Next one will be on November 28th.

This is not the usual dance event, like you would normally see - Imagine the friendly men you see at FMSD events, but dancing, happy and sweaty… Everybody joyful, welcome and included. This is a repeat of the successful Rampart/BULC formula from San Diego's history, and it's finally back. Thousands of men have been anxiously waiting for this day. Let's get the news out.

I know that there at least a dozen experienced deejays out there that can satisfy our target demographic, but we need to start interviewing and brainstorming with them right away. It's crucial to find a good match.

If you know somebody who can do the job, living here in San Diego, reply to this message with some details.

More information is coming, once I'm back from Folsom Street Fair. This is the best thing from FetishMenSanDiego so far, and we're just getting it rolling.

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Excellent, Fetish-Friendly Tailor in San Diego

If you had attended the STRICT DRESSCODE night at the Eagle last week, you would have seen me wearing my new, freshly-tailored cop uniform. I'm a big, tall guy, and if I buy a long-sleeved shirt that has the right arm-length and neck-width, you can easily fit two men of my ample proportions inside the rest of the shirt. I'm not sure why manufacturers do that.

So, when I bought the small version of the San Francisco Policemen's formal uniform, and had the patches, insignia and gold buttons transferred to the newer shirt I bought from California Uniforms at Park and Robinson, it still fit me like a caftan or a muumuu.  NOT the look I was aiming for!

After calling around and searching on Google Maps, I found the ideal tailor... an asian gentleman named Mins:

L & A Tailoring
2917 University Ave (just a couple of doors west of the corner of 30th and University)
San Diego CA

He did a superb job, tightening up the fit on the sides and inside the length of the sleeves. He did flawless work inside, and the shirt looks like it was made exactly for ME, all along.  Twenty bucks and 24 hours to make a perfect fit that will last the life of the shirt (which will probably be the rest of my life - Daddy's not getting any younger!). Mins didn't act like I was an alien or a wierdo for having fetish gear that was clearly not in his usual line of work. ,

He was super-friendly and helpful, and I'm 100% satisfied.

         ——— There are now NINE ways to follow FetishMenSanDiego online:   ———

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Upcoming Events

Things are quiet in San Diego at the moment, as folks pack for Folsom Street Fair this weekend. After that, things start getting interesting:

- The LEATHER 101 educational event with SDLOG  is on Friday, October 1.

- The CIGARS, BOOTS & BEER late-afternoon party at Redwing is coming up on October 3rd at 5PM. Now that it's a monthly event, it should grow very quickly.

Puppy Night is at the Eagle at 9PM on Wednesday, October 7, hosted by San Diego Puppy Patrol.

- I have a meeting tomorrow to finalize plans for the monthly FetishMen DanceParty (that's the working title at the moment)

- I've got a trusted buddy setting up a Skate Night

- I'm starting to solidify plans for a Rubber event

- I'm waiting for the weather to be consistently cooler so that we can schedule a Fetishmen Dinner out on the patio at DiMille's. It'll be inexpensive, high-quality and fun!

- The next Dress Code Night is coming again, on a more popular night, with the newer, looser dress code: if you're not going to dress up, you have to strip down and make the rest of us happy!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Puppy Events at Folsom

From: Michael Lobo <>

The San Diego Pup's are gonna get a bit active during Folsom by trying to start a new tradition. The following Pup events during Folsom Street are open to any members that are interesting in learning about Puppy Play, Handling & Training or just want to meet and socialize with some pups. These are all social events so no protocol is needed...


OK this is the Official announcement!
Puppy Alert!
Friday, September 24th Puppies are to gather at the statue near the Golden Gate Bridge at 11:00pm, wearing what ever gear you want.
At 12:00, we "Go for a walk!" there will be a "HOWL" when we get to the middle.
We are meeting at the pup dinner first for meal time, then at the statue for walkies!!!

Please pass this on to every Puppy that you know!

Rubberdawg, ZigZag, Dragz, Phoenix, and Zephyr
AKA, The SDPP Woof!

Folsom Pup Dinner
Sponsored by San Francisco K-9 Unit


Folsom Pup Dinner


Friday September 24, 2010


6:30 pm - 8:30 pm


Don Ramons

ARF ARF ARF!!!!!!!!

To all pups, dogs mutts, and Handlers:

Folsom Street Fair is just around the corner, which means it is time for another “Pup Dinner” . I have received a number of emails asking if we are going to have another pup dinner during Folsom weekend. YES!!!!! YAY!!!! We will have our annual dinner at Don Ramon’s once again. This is a great opportunity for us to get together and have some fun. We will have a space where we can romp around and eat our of our dog bowls. As before, we will be dining in the space upstairs. Since this event is in a public space, please be respectful and dress appropriately. NO NUDITY ALLOWED. Also, if you plan on eating out of your dog bowls, please try and not make a HUGE mess. J I know that might be difficult for some of you. Come and join the rest of the pack and celebrate who we are and what we enjoy doing.

Just like the Pup Dinner during Dore Alley weekend and last years dinner for Folsom, we will have a fixed rate and a fixed menu in which you are allowed to pick “ONE” of four choices on the menu for $23. Each meal includes water, soda, tea or coffee (ONLY). If you wish to order any type of alcoholic drink you will need to go to the bar and order it on your own. Don Ramon’s has also offered to handle all the transactions for each person. Don Ramon’s will have a table positioned at the bottom of the stairs for us to pay for our meal. Don Ramon’s has requested that we pay in cash, they can take debit card or credit card, but they will have to walk over to the register to make those transactions. When you have purchased the meal, Don Ramon’s will ask which option you would like from this list provided. Once you have you’re your choice, you will receive a colored ticket which you will give to the waiter. Below is the information about the event including the dinner menu.

Sunday, September 26th
12:30p, right next to Powerhouse (Folsom & Dore), on Folsom Street

Hey, pups! Time for the next Pack Howl, this time at Folsom Street Fair.

Should be early enough to avoid the crushing crowds but late enough to let some of you pups sleep a little late before putting on your paws and tails.


Pup Phoenix
Co-Founding Pup
San Diego Puppy Patrol

San Diegans, Folsom Rendezvous

On this upcoming Sunday, September 26th in San Francisco during the Folsom Street Fair, all San Diegans are welcome to gather for a brief time at 2PM sharp, on the patio at Stompers Boots:

You have to be wearing boots to get in, by the way...

After gathering, some of us will continue exploring the Fair together, as a bonding experience.  Everybody's welcome!

2011 California Leather Sir boy and Community Bootblack

from: d1stangel <>

We're gearing up for the 2011 California Leather Sir/boy and Community Bootblack Contest in April 29-30 and May 1, 2011 in Palm Springs.

Todd Bishop of Palm Springs was choosen as 2011 Leather Sir last year, but we still need a boy and a bootblack to compete at the international contest, Dore Alley weekend July 2011.

Sirs can also compete to be an alternate Sir for 2011!

In 2011 we also want to feature the California "puppy's!" Woof!

How about that; Sir, boy, his puppy, and bootblack - happy family.

Contact info:
Theme: Locker Room

There is something special between a Sir, his boy, puppy, and bootblack!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Additional Thoughts About Wednesday's Event

As I mentioned before, Wednesday night's STRICT DRESSCODE event was not as crowded as previous events. Point made.

But, I feel the need to point out something new, that needed some thoughtful evaluation before I could post it:

I was over near the entrance to the bar at around 10:30PM, and I noticed that the whole crowd of fifty or sixty laughing, chattering men was clustered tightly together, in one long grouping along the whole western wall. The rest of the bar (except for the two guys playing pool) was basically empty.  I've never seen this before, in 36 years of going to gay bars (yes, I went to underage bars before I turned 21), and it struck me as unusual at the time.

Now that I've had time to think about it, I'm very happy about what it means. Instead of being a loose, scattered assemblage of isolated and lonely men, everybody was TOGETHER. 

Everybody wanted to be unified… Close, personal and involved with each other, in one Tribe.  Nobody forced them to be that way - They did it naturally. It was the clearest symptom of true brotherhood that I've seen in many years.

So, the "problem" of a low turnout had the hidden benefit of bringing something new and wonderful into visibility.  It looks like everybody was honoring my request, and we can see that it works.  Good for us!

And yes, we had a sudden jump in membership on the email list...

Excellent Fetish Photographer

I like to promote local businesses that are friendly to our community, and deserve our patronage. It also helps a lot if they're damn good at what they do, and have a passion for it.

If you've ever wanted to get some superb pictures of yourself for an online profile, you can't find anybody better than Damian Day, whose Recon profile is bluejeanboy28:

Damian Day
email: Daydamian AT

He has photographed many, many men for their online profiles, and those photographs are always shoved right to the front, with great pride. Here are just a few:

Damien comes down to San Diego from his home in Palm Springs on a nearly weekly basis, and he lines up men who are going to be photographed in their finest gear (or out of it).  I plan to be on his list in the weeks after Folsom, because I want to look my very best in some images that are current.

The Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm 2010

(Note from Tony - this is the same weekend as Palm Springs Leather Pride)

The Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm 2010

This is a weekend event for advanced players of all orientations. The workshops presented will be on subjects that are not SM 101 topics.  This will be an opportunity for those that want to explore the edge of play and beyond.  The Hard Edge will feature nationally known presenters from all over the US. This event is for registered attendees 18 years and older only with valid identification.  The mission of The Hard Edge Event is to bring advanced subject matter to the more experienced player and to push the boundaries of what has been demonstrated and taught in San Diego in the past.  We will do this in a conscientious and straightforward manner, trusting in the maturity and open mindedness of the attendees.

Online registration is now open.

Visit The Hard Edge - Beyond the Realm web site for more details and information @

Event Outline;

Thursday 11/11

Introduction to "The Hard Edge – Beyond the Realm at the ClubX Workshop

Joyce Beers Center #4065 Vermont Street  San Diego, CA 92104; 7pm.

Friday, 11/12

7pm – Opening Ceremonies

830pm to 1130pm Workshop #1 Sensory Excess Play

Presented by: Shae Flanigan

and Assisted by: "Astrid" - Chuck

Open gender "Hands on Social" 

8pm to 1am Men’s "Gathering" – (optional - offsite facility)

Saturday, 11/13

11 am to 2pm Workshop #2 Slap me. Beat Me. Hurt Me, Then Kick me in The Balls" - Impact and Interrogation

Presented by: Anjin

and Assisted by: Temptrx

2:30pm – 5:30pm Workshop #3 Breaking the Taboo of Race Play

Co-Presented By: Tobin Britton and: K. Yew

6:30pm – 9:30pm Workshop #4 Drawing Your Last Breath!

Presented by: Mark Frazier

9:30 – 1 a.m. – Open gender "Hands on Social"

8pm to 1am Women’s "Gathering" – (optional - offsite facility)

Sunday, 11/14

11am to 2pm Workshop #5 Taking it back to the Edge – Sensations and Spirituality

Presented by: Tommie Starchild

2pm to 4pm Presenter /Assistant (Demo) Panel –"From Both Sides"

4pm to 7pm The "Last Supper" Cigar Social and BBQ  at the Redwing Bar

4012 30th Street San Diego , CA 92103

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Request for Reviews from Last Night's Event

Last night's STRICT DRESSCODE night was an experiment, and a good learning experience. We had fewer attendees than the last event we had at the Eagle, and I suspect that the biggest problem was the fact that it was on a Wednesday. Live and learn.

However, in my experience, it was probably the most enthusiastic event we've had so far. I spoke to a lot of men last night, and they were either bubbling over with ideas and excitement (if they were already connected with FMSD), or practically snatching the FMSD cards out of my hands if this was their first experience with us. I predict a sudden bump in membership.

Frankly, it wasn't so very "STRICT" after all, and that was intentional. San Diego's fetishmen community hasn't had a long history of rigorous events, and it takes time to build up a tradition so that folks can plan and equip themselves for such a concept.

So, instead of picking guys up and throwing them out the door if they dared to show up in their street clothes (and there were a lot of them coming in), I decided to explain the theme to each new guy coming in, and make the following request:

"If you can't show up in full leather, or rubber, or uniform or other kinds of fetishwear, we request that you take your shirt off and make the rest of us very happy!" This seemed to keep everybody pretty jolly all night, which was the goal all along. I mean, really - Imagine a leather bar with men in spandex, leather, rubber, uniforms and bare chests. The roar of happy conversation was continuous, once the party got into full swing. I'm really happy with how it turned out.

How was it for you?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

New Faces at Tonight's Event...

Based on feedback I'm getting, there are going to be many new faces at tonight's event. We only started up a little less than three months ago, and our events have been wonderful, but I always worry that we might someday fall into the usual affinity-group trap:

Everybody arrives, the long-time members gather in a tight little huddle, and the new guys BOUNCE off of everybody else's backs as the long-timers cluster together exchanging howdies. This is never good for any group that wants to stay vibrant and growing. This hasn't happened yet, because everybody has been honoring Rule #1 for our events so far.

So, I'm belaboring the point, once again, for the sake of the newest guys:

Please mix and mingle, often, and take some time to talk to somebody who looks shy.  You looked just like that at YOUR first FMSD event, and now that you've seen how honestly nice the rest of the guys are, you've become all bold and sassy.  Please extend the hand of brotherhood to everybody there, even if it doesn't seem to have any short-term payoff for you. 

Do it as an investment in our community's future.

If you want to see really, REALLY big events (imagine six hundred thrilled and delighted men at big parties within the next year), then we have to go about it the right way. We can't just repeat the crappy "Sink or Swim" attitude that serves to isolate us from each other, as you find at most "HAWT PARTEEZ" out there (particularly in other big cities in California).  Aren't you sick of having to bring a protective coating of friends to the usual kind of events, just so that you won't have a terrible time?

The way around it is for all of us, together, to drop the defenses, be like a bunch of uninhibited three-year-olds (before we learned to become cynical) and be good to each other. If we all do it, then magic happens, as it has at each of our events.  Men have learned to trust our events, and I want that trust to grow.

Thank you!   I'll see you tonight.  I'll be wearing my newest uniform.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I'm Going to Be "Folsom Daddy" Again!

Thanks to several serendipitous events and good friends, I will be attending this year's Folsom Street Fair, arriving on Friday, Sept. 24, and leaving on Monday, Sept 27.

Being me, I won't just be attending events in a passive sort of way.  I can't do that.

As I have done in years past, I will be happy to be Folsom Daddy for the weekend, guiding fellow San Diegans through a fun weekend of pleasurable events and sights.  If you want to be part of a group that will explore the Street Fair, or a wonderful, non-sexual play party on Friday night, or window-shopping in the South of Market District, or find other excuses to bond as San Diego brothers, just send me a message at FetishMenSanDiego AT gmail DOT com and we'll get the plans together.  

Expect a lot of walking!


I like to wear uniform gear.  I've got a whole walk-in closet stacked with leather and other fetishwear, including three kilts!  Finding occasions to wear them out in public can be difficult. 

Knowing you guys as well as I do, I know that I'm not the only one who likes to "Dress to Impress".

Now that FetishMenSanDiego's membership is reaching into the hundreds, it's clearly time for gay-male perverts to mingle together in fetishistic splendor. 

Rubber, leather, uniforms, bondage harnesses, boots, business suits (yes, this is a fetish for about a dozen local men that I know), sports wear, whatever. If it gives you a thrill every time you wear it, we want to see it.

The guy at the door is on orders to keep an open mind about new trends in twisted gear.  It's not 1980 any more, and in 2010, new ideas are popping up like crazy…



9PM and onward, Wednesday, September 15, 2010

3040 North Park Way, San Diego,  CA 92104-3626
(619) 295-8072

One from each: FOOTWEAR, PANTS, TORSO:

Boots are required, Sneakers are okay with Sports Fetishwear

Leather, Rubber, Uniform, Sports, Jockstrap.  Jeans only with tall boots or with leather chaps.

Leather, Rubber, Uniform, Sports, Harness, Vest, Shirtless.  Cloth shirt only with Uniform, Sports or Skin

Cologne, sneakers, sandals, street shoes, cotton pants, shorts, cell phones, cameras, illegal drugs.

Our door-guard will have the right to refuse entry to folks who don't adhere to the rules. Folks already inside the building before this event will not be chased out.

Regarding BUSINESS FORMALWEAR, BOY SCOUT GEAR, or whatever else turns you on, make your case to the doorguard. If it makes you feel extra-sexy, bring it, work it and convince him!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

New FMSD Calendar Now Online

I'm slowly building the network tools so that folks can keep up with local gay fetishmen's events and news in their own, favorite ways.

  There are now NINE ways to follow FetishMenSanDiego online: 

          Facebook   •   Twitter    •   Recon   •   Blog   •  Calendar
          RSS Feed    •   Website   •   Email List   •   Email Archives

The new FMSD Calendar is pretty sparse at the moment, but I will be adding more to it as time goes by.  

Email me if you'd like to promote an upcoming event.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Palm Springs Leather Pride in November

(Note from Tony: This is an annual event that you do NOT want to miss - It is always on the second weekend in November.  Think of it as a massive "Family Reunion" event for leathermen from all over the Southern California, Arizona and Nevada areas, along with a lot of men from even further away.  I used to be Toastmaster at the opening dinner each year. Palm Springs Leather Pride is always a superb event, without fail.  I will DEFINITELY be attending, and I will be gathering information on San Diego men who wish to attend and share lodging and rides. Send an email to FetishMenSanDiego AT gmail DOT com if you want to be on the list.)

Dear Friends,

Registration is now open for Palm Springs Leather Pride 2010!  We’ve just distributed this press release to the media, but we wanted you to get the information directly too. We’ve got a terrific weekend planned! Read on for all the details.

We’ve sent you this note because you have attended Leather Pride in the past or asked to receive information about PSLOD events. If you’d prefer to no longer receive mail from us, just reply to this message and let us know.

Please join us this year for another sexy weekend of fellowship and fun!

In Leather,
The Brothers and Sisters of Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert

Registration Now Open for Leather Pride
Palm Springs, CA – September 8, 2010       
Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert (PSLOD) announces that weekend packages and single tickets are now available for Palm Springs Leather Pride 2010. This year’s event will take place November 11-14.

“Our celebration has always been centered around camaraderie and fun,” said Bill Spinney, PSLOD President. “This year we’ve brought back even more of everyone’s favorite activities and worked especially hard to create special experiences that can’t be found anywhere else but in Palm Springs.”

After a three-year hiatus, the popular, super-cruisey Tool Shed/Gear Leather Backlot Party has returned to Friday night. This year’sFormal Leather Dinner has been expanded and moved to a stunning new location. And the Mr. Palm Springs Leather Contest andVictory Dark Dance are returning to the famed Palm Springs Convention Center, where last year they attracted the largest crowds in Leather Pride history.

These events, along with Elbow Grease’s clothing-optional ‘Turning Up The Heat’ Fetish Pool Party Barbecue, the Vendor Marketsand the annual Tom of Finland Foundation Beer Bust Benefit round out the full, yet laid-back weekend schedule.

“The Formal Leather Dinner will be particularly special this year,” says Spinney. “We’ve planned a sumptuous menu, but the real star of the event will be the view!” Dinner will be held at Leon’s Bar and Grill in the North Clubhouse of the world-famous Indian Canyons Golf Resort. A landmark of Palm Springs modernist design, the venue features a sweeping vista of sun-dappled mountains, the beautiful golf course and the historic Walt Disney Fountain. Tickets are reserved exclusively for VIP Weekend Package Holders and are expected to sell out, so participants that are interested in attending are encouraged to register early.

In addition to the dinner, the VIP Weekend Package includes admission to the contest, dance party and barbecue, plus a commemorative T-shirt, collectible dog tags and a run pin. The entire package—over $125 worth of tickets and merchandise—is priced at only $99. “Creating an affordable weekend experience has always been one of our priorities, says Spinney. “I think if you compare, you’ll see that virtually no other major Leather event in the country offers as much value for the money”

Outside of the weekend package, single tickets are available for the Mr. Palm Springs Leather Contest/Victory Dark Dance and the Fetish Pool Party Barbecue. All other activities are free and open to the public.

For detailed information about all of the weekend’s happenings and the opportunity to purchase packages and individual tickets, visit the Leather Pride web site at Unsold tickets, if available, will be sold at the door of most events, but guests are encouraged to purchase tickets in advance so that they don’t miss out on their favorite activities. All ticketed events are ASL interpreted.

About Leather Pride
Since back in the ‘90s when we hosted our first “Sweating Bullets” Run, Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert has invited Leatherfolk from around the world to gather in our Desert Oasis each November for a hot, sexy weekend celebration of Leather/Fetish fellowship and fun. Today, Palm Springs Leather Pride is one of our city’s most popular LGBT events and one of the largest, longest-running, and most successful Leather/Fetish Events in Southern California.

Leather Pride could not take place without the support of our generous sponsors. This year’s Gold Level supporters include Pulp and The BottomLine Magazines; Elbow Grease Lubricants; Bud Light; Gear Leather & Fetish; and Pure Design. Silver sponsors include and Hunter’s Nightclubs. Additional sponsorships remain available. For more information, contact PSLOD.

For more information about Leather Pride, visit

About PSLOD:
Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert is the Coachella Valley’s largest Leather/SM/Fetish social, educational, support and charitable organization. We promote with power and pride the right of all adults to engage in safe, sane and consensual sexual expression. A registered 501(c)3 not-for-profit corporation, PSLOD uses its proceeds to support national organizations that preserve our heritage and defend our rights and to assist local not-for-profits that help the less fortunate in our Valley, like the AIDS Assistance Program, Desert AIDS Project, Desert Women for Equality's Mammogram Program and Well in the Desert. Learn more about PSLOD on our
web site,

For further details, contact:
Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert  |  PO Box 5506  |  Palm Springs. CA 92263
(760) 272-5553  |  |

Friday, September 10, 2010

Men's "Leather 101" Workshop, Friday Oct. 1

SDLOG monthly educational meeting
7PM-9PM - October 1, 2010 (First Friday of the month)

This event will be at the Joyce Beers Community Center, in Hillcrest (the gray area on the map is the Ralph's shopping center parking lot). It's directly across the parking-lot from Ralph's supermarket, on the other side of the building containing Starbucks.

Leather 101 is a welcoming workshop for all men.  We'll touch on getting started, communication, relationships, spirituality, tips for us in San Diego, and resources for learning more.   

Leather 101 is a popular topic and Officer Wes has presented it to different audiences including San Diego Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender PrideSan Diego League of Gentlemen and Club X San Diego nearly every year since 2003.  Officer Wes thanks his friend Wendy Sue for the information on leather womyn's resources that was incorporated in 2004.

About our presenter:

Officer Wes entered his first leather bar in 1980.  He has examined and shared on issues of sexual expression and other areas of the human experience for much of his life.  His experiences and viewpoints have appeared in many publications including USA Today and The Advocate.  He judges regional and international contests and presents programs and workshops on Master/slave and Daddy/boy relationships, spirituality and leather, great sex, pain and pleasure, uniforms, fetish, interrogation, electricity, and other aspects of the BDSM arts at clubs and events across the country.  He is credited as an influence in the books Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave and Master/slave Relations, and is the author of the electrical chapter of the upcoming book Edgeplay and Power Exchange.  His Web sites on sexuality, health and kink stand as a resource for others seeking to live in integrity with their authentic selves and have been visited by over a quarter of a million people. 

Officer Wes was an inaugural mentor for SAADE, the School for Advanced American Dominant Education, a formal mentoring program for new dominants that instructs its apprentices not only in physical SM practices but on the mental, emotional and spiritual dynamics of BDSM as well.  He served on the host committee for Living in Leather VIII, was an inaugural core member of San Diego's private men's BDSM group SuperPigs, and is an Associate Member of the Chicago Hellfire Club

Officer Wes has an open leather family built around shared values of respect, honor, trust, and love.  He is open to having a slave in service and is himself in service to a Daddy.  More information about Officer Wes can be found at his website

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

STRICT DRESSCODE NIGHT in one week (Wednesday)


9PM and onward, Wednesday, September 15, 2010

3040 North Park Way, San Diego,  CA 92104-3626
(619) 295-8072

One from each: FOOTWEAR, PANTS, TORSO:

Boots are required, Sneakers are okay with Sports Fetishwear

Leather, Rubber, Uniform, Sports, Jockstrap.  Jeans only with tall boots or with leather chaps.

Leather, Rubber, Uniform, Sports, Harness, Vest, Shirtless.  Cloth shirt only with Uniform, Sports or Skin

Cologne, sneakers, sandals, street shoes, suits, dress shirts, cotton pants, shorts, cell phones, cameras, illegal drugs.

Our door-guard will have the right to refuse entry to folks who don't adhere to the rules. Folks already inside the building before this event will not be chased out.

Regarding BUSINESS FORMALWEAR, BOY SCOUT GEAR, or whatever else turns you on, make your case to the doorguard. If it makes you feel extra-sexy, bring it, work it and convince him!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Folsom Lodging Advice?

This is a topic that I have covered on the email list, but it bears repeating here, because people can contribute more information through the comments:

From: Melanio
Last minute usually means, you get what is cheapest.  And when its not a big event going on besides Folsom or Up Your Alley Fair, Union Sq hotels are reasonably priced especially on the Sun nite rate (so it averages out better).  Parking is the worst for Union Square since this is touristy so you pay a premium.

But if you like to walk, the BART from SFO to Union Sq as previously mentioned is the best route.  I have done it several times.  Union Sq is not that far from Folsom (yes at least 1 mile walk) or take the Muni to civic center and walk down to Folsom.  Don't worry about being in your leathers too, its SF, they have seen it all.

I stayed at Hotel Abril which was a nice cozy hotel.  Free wifi.  But I am sure you should be able to use to track down hotels.  If you haven't booked your flight, Virgin America is usually decent pricing or Southwest.  But if you book packages (hotel/flight), you get a better deal with the hotel.

Good Luck.  Wish I was there this year (Have gone for at least the last 4 years) but like most the Economy has hit the wallet and this is a trip I can skip on until better times.

And if you are rooming with someone, please make sure that you keep in touch with your friends and make sure you are both going (last minute cancellations suck) and not stuck with the bill all by yourself.

I like this forum  Thanks Papa Tony.
From: Tim
When I went to Up Your Alley this year, I stayed at the Renoir Hotel. It is on Market at about 7th Street. Easy walking distance, if you're physically able to walk about a mile.

It's decent inside, but not luxe (by any means). The room was clean, and it felt reasonably safe.

I got a rate of about $135 which is fairly cheap for SF. If I recall, they were running a deal with the Folsom organizers, so folks might be able to get a rate at or better than that by going through the Folsom Street Fair website and looking up the info on the contact person.

That's all the good news. The bad news was the bed was hugely uncomfortable, so sensitive sleepers or picky types should look elsewhere. I sleep like a dead guy, and it was uncomfortable even for me. It might have been the particular room I was in - but I have no way of knowing.

From: Dan

I stayed at the AIDA hotel at 10th and Market during ILSb in July of this year,  (during the Up-your-alley fair), so I know this no-thrills hovel is still open.  Folsom is about 5 blocks south of the hotel, the nearest cross street is 7th.

It was $49/night for 1 person.  I had to book online in advance for this rate.  You have your own room here, but have to share a shower and bath room with other guests on your floor.

There is an additional charge if you park a car in their garage, but since I flew I'm not sure how much parking would cost.  However, if you fly into SFO, the Civic Center BART station is less than 1 block from the front door  with a direct connection to the airport.  ($8.10 gets you downtown in about 20 minutes.)

It might be more expensive this close to the event, but the last couple of times I went to Folsom St fair, they had rooms available as late as 2 weeks before the event. The place is affordable, so it fills quickly with walk-ins if you don't book in advance.  (I heard the desk clerk turning people away who hadn't made advanced reservations during my last stay.)

I found the hotel's website on google.  They book through a agency, which sometimes changes.  It's not only cheap, its withing stomping distance of the event itself, Mr S, and Folsom St watering holes.

 From: Bob

I always stay at the Best Western on 7th Street.  It's only a couple of blocks to Folsom and cheaper than the Travel Lodge where I used to stay several years ago. Also inside parking.

From: Marc

How about SD locals sharing the expense of a hotel room? Better rooms in a better hotel with a room mate for less than a class “C” hotel paid individually. Any one interested in sharing?

From: JMB

Knights Inn - A block from the Fair.  Not available Friday night, but is available Sat/Sun night.
Please add more suggestions in the comments!

CIGARS, BOOTS AND BEER, Sunday, October 3

The recent BOOT NIGHT event at the Redwing was so successful, we have now locked it in to repeat on the first Sunday of every month.

Our first regularly-scheduled event, but not our last!

This event will be co-hosted by Robert Black, Tim (Mr. Redwing 2010) and Joe Whitaker, who will be bringing an array of cigars for sale from his cigar store. In the past, I have been the primary Social Director to assure new people that they are welcome and wanted, but now we have several!

Event info:

1st Sunday of each month: Sunday, October 3rd, and Nov. 7th, and Dec. 5th*, and so forth into 2011.

5PM-8PM on the patio at

4012 30th Street, 
San Diego CA 92104-2602
(619) 281-8700

ALL interested gay fetishmen are invited to attend. You don't have to wear boots, or smoke cigars, or drink beer, if those aren't your thing. We want your company, period. This is a highly sociable event, and it is going to get a lot bigger as the months go by. We tend to attract a lot of really nice guys!

We plan to have several bootblacks on duty, because they are part of a proud tradition that goes back many decades. Bring cash for tipping, because you'll really want to reward these folks for taking superb care of your boots and leather gear. They do it because they LOVE it!

* The December 5th event will also be Papa Tony's 55th birthday party… By the way - I prefer EXPENSIVE gifts… :-) Just kidding. Hugs are all that I want. Seriously.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Folsom Buddies?

Folsom Street Fair is coming up very soon (Sunday, September 26, 2010), and many men will be attending for the first time.  From past experience, I know how lonely an experience it can be to explore such a HUGE public event, all by yourself.

So, if you are planning to attend, and are open to the idea of being with a group of fellow San Diego men to wander with, and explore and to point out real eye-catching displays to each other, then just reply to this message and I'll compile the list and get the group together.

I won't be attending, myself. As much as I want to, I can't really justify the expense. Business has been super-sucky, and I'm still doing penance for the many years I traveled to every major event using our household money. I was head photographer at IML for a few years, I have been to the Folsom Street Fair many times, I've judged/emceed/tallymastered at least sixty titleholder contests, I've been Guest Lecturer at many out-of-state events, and I've never received a single penny from anybody else. So, it has been hard on our personal finances. My 100% vanilla husband has had the patience of a saint for putting up with this for the last two decades.

If anyone has any interest in attending a kinky (non-sexual) play-party while in town for Folsom Street Fair weekend, let me know. I can probably get you on the list. The streets get VERY EMPTY on the night before the Street Fair, because everybody is on some sort of list for a party, and if you ain't on the list beforehand, you won't get in!

In the old days, I used to host Shopping Tours of the South of Market District on the day before Folsom Street Fair. I would take about twenty San Diego men walking around to Mister S LeatherStompers Boots, Butler's Uniforms (sadly out of business), Bear Magazine headquarters, and several other leather-related shops. It was a lot of fun, but the tour always veered out of control at the very end. I'd try to walk the group past a Lighting Fixtures warehouse, and the group would stop DEAD, veer off track and go inside the store, saying "OH! Look at those SCONCES!"  :->   Hey - we may be kinky, but we're still gay!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Shifting Slowly to Regularly-Scheduled Events

Behind the scenes, there are a bunch of people who are involved in plans for upcoming FMSD events. The long-term, overarching goal is to shift from randomly-scheduled events to solid, dependable events that show up regularly on your calendar. This has always been the plan.  It's just happening a lot sooner than I expected - The number of superb, admirable (and hot!) men joining and participating in the group has accelerated much faster than I predicted.

I've been Club President of some group or another for most of the last thirty years, and I know how important it is to build momentum and attendance. San Diego's fetishmen community goes through cycles, with some traditions (such as the Mr. San Diego Leather contest and Leather Pride, and the Leather Realm during Pride) continuing onward, but with others (too many to mention) wilting away and being lost. That's the normal cycle of things. Those events that I mentioned have continued because of the fine local leaders who have maintained them for the rest of us to enjoy over the years.

San Diego's Tribe is due for some new, additional, dependable events to look forward to, month after month, and year after year. I'll have more to announce soon, as plans solidify. The goal is not only to create events that local men can enjoy, but that men from all over the world can plan their vacations around!

If this appeals to you, then please help build the momentum by telling your friends to get on the mailing-list, or to follow us on Facebook or Twitter. Gay fetishmen are HARD to track down through traditional means - You could walk right past somebody in the supermarket and never have a clue of his history or experience. You can drive through San Diego's neighborhoods and never see that playroom behind that garage door. We've all disappeared behind our computers, and the only way to Gather the Tribe is for all of us to reach out to our trusted friends and let them know that there is good news (and great events) for gay fetishmen.

It's time to build up a big, enthusiastic, visible and proud Tribe in San Diego!

I'm in love with The Flame!

I have been checking out various venues around San Diego every weekend, to see if the facilities and amenities seem good for an upcoming, fun event. I like to set up dates with the managers and/or owners to do come mutual brainstorming. My goal is to create new, exciting, breakthrough events that work well in 2010 and beyond. As much as I yearn for the Good Old Days to come back, they're not going to, so I like to create NEW traditions and events that are just as wonderful as our favorites from the past.

So, when I'm out bar-hopping and approaching the managers, some places blow me off without listening, and others are quite open to the idea of hosting our crew. I can't take it personally if the initial contact doesn't go well… These places have met their share of wannabee leaders, and they can't be faulted for assuming that FMSD is another big, fancy idea with no constituency.  Sooner or later, word will reach everybody through the grapevine that we're the real deal.

Thanks to the urging of Anthony, Mr. San Diego Leather 2010, I checked out The Flame last night.

Holy Toledo! 

The place is NOT what I have expected from the past. The new owners bought the place about a year or so ago, and clearly spent a lot of money to upgrade and massively remodel the place. I can't imagine a better venue for a dance-party. The dance floor is huge, there's a lot of parking nearby, there's a kick-ass back room that has a separate bar and a stage for demos, and Gardenia, the new manager who is very open to having us come in. I will be having a meeting with her and the owners of the place on Thursday.  

I will be bringing up these bullet-points:

- I don't want any pay for hosting events there. That should surprise them.

- The DJ supplying the music (whether it's one of theirs, or one of ours) has to be consistent, time after time, event after event. They will need to be 100% in synch with the needs of our crowd.  I'm real bossy about this, because I've attempted to set up events like this in the past, and if the music ain't making us stomp our feet and shake our butts, people won't stay, or rave to their friends afterward.

- No smoke-machine. Ever.  They had it on last night. That stuff is atomized baby-oil, spewing out and coating our lungs, and I lose my ability to speak when I'm exposed to it.  I cough for hours afterward. I have never see what value it adds to a dance-party.

- I want to be the overall judge of what changes, if anything changes. I know my crowd, and I have a lot of experience with this stuff. I don't want everything to stop in the middle for a drag show or a fundraiser, if we're there to DANCE. Yeah, I'm a big old Control Queen. I figure as long as I can't help being this way, I may as well be really good at it.

The over-arching theme of what I want to convey on Thursday is that I take full responsibility for the safety and well-being of the space.  By nature, I'm a human Border Collie, and I gather people together in environments where everybody can relax and have a superb time. If things go haywire just because the owner or manager at a venue get the idea that they know our crowd better than anybody else, then I get really itchy and antsy and want to repair the damage, and I can't always do that.

Any feedback?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Bootblacking Class in Vista Tomorrow

This Thursday, September 2nd,  The San Diego North LifeStyle WorkShop will present "The Basics of Leather Care"  by Cobi  (Southwest Bootblack 2010) & Snowy
This workshop will cover everything you need to know about basic leather care for different types of leather.  It is for anyone who would like to learn how to care for boots and their other leather items such as Floggers, Whips and Purses.  It doesn't matter what your status is in the lifestyle.  Tops, bottoms, Mistresses, slaves…anyone who owns leather should know how to care for it.  It’s easy to do and can be a lot of fun!
We will cover cleaning, conditioning and polishing of oil tanned boots, polish boots (and shoes), leather apparel and the care of leather implements.
Please bring any supplies you currently own for cleaning, conditioning or polishing leather. Don't worry if you don't have any, there will be some available for purchase or folks may share.  All attendees are encouraged to bring leathers and boots to work on or wear some for others to shine.
What you should Bring for this Hands-On WorkShop
  ü  Black leather boots or shoes (No suede, patent leather or sandals) 
  ü  Saddle Soap (white is best and not a spray) OR Neutrogena glycerine soap
ü  Round applicator brush for soap
ü  Quality black polish (Kiwi, Lincoln, Angelus=most popular.  Not Parade Gloss!)
ü  Huberd’s Shoe Grease (for oil tan boots)
ü  Soft horsehair shoe brush.  They come in different sizes.  Find one that fits comfortably in your hand.
ü  Clean, soft, plain 100% cotton rags.  These need to be 100% cotton as Polyester blends are too abrasive.  If the t-shirt is new it should be laundered several times to soften the cloth but NOT with fabric softener! 
ü  Hard toothbrush
ü  Old towel(s)
ü  Comfortable clothes you don’t mind getting dirty

ü  Spray bottle
ü  Soft polish dauber brush (not necessary if applying polish with a rag or hand)
ü  Kneepads if you’re working/kneeling on the floor
ü  Clean nylon socks, pantyhose, knee highs or silk for final buffing
ü  Hand sanitizer for use between oil tans and waxes
ü  Torch lighter
Cobi is the Southwest Bootblack 2010 and has been publicly bootblacking for two years.  He blacks at the Eagle in San Diego and for Anvil Club in LA.  He’s bootblacked at many leather events and fundraisers and enjoys working with folks one on one to learn the skill of leather care.  Cobi is a voyeur, Sandra's boy, Mama’s Bus Driver, a teacher, and an instigator.  Cobi is the workshop coordinator for Club X and proudly serves as Ambassador in the Leather Realm during Pride.  He likes electricity, sharp objects, fire, fisting, food play and playing in and under boots.
We have a great location, The Deja Vu Love Boutique, 2130 Industrial Court, Vista 92081 (760)598-5889, seen on the southside of Highway 78 just west of Sycamore Avenue. Take the Sycamore Ave off-ramp. Coming from Oceanside..turn right. If from Escondido..turn left to the first cross street. Make a right turn on Thibido Rd (Union 76 station) Go past Thibido Crt to the next turn on your right (Industrial Crt). Go into the complex, make your first available right and the Love Boutique is on the Southend of that building. Plenty front door free Parking.

The Workshops will take place upstairs on the Balcony the first (1st) Thursday of every month. The Stairs open at 6:30 with a 7:00 p.m. start and a promise to get you out by 9 p.m. There will be a small $3.00 donation, all of which will pay for snacks, soda, water and some presenter costs. You must be 18 years old to attend the 
workshops.  If you would like to be notified of future monthly WorkShops by personal email, please use the following link.   .