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Saturday, August 5, 2017

You've Got Male! - An intro and a plan

Table of Contents:

I. An Introduction
II. Events
III. Volunteerism
IV. From ME to YOU

Howdy Gents,

Papa Tony introduced me back in THIS blog post as stepping up as the new leadership for Fetish Men San Diego. Since then, many of you haven’t heard much from me due to life happening, but with the dust settled, I am hoping to take several steps forward! But first, allow me to re-introduce myself:

I. An Introduction

My name is Doriam Couto. I’m 24 years old, have lived in San Diego for 6 years, have been active in the Leather, BDSM, Kink, and Fetish community since 2015, and identify as a Homoflexible Male. I currently serve on the board/staff of three organization, including: President/Leadership for Fetish Men San Diego, Board of Directors for Club X San Diego, Host for Club X’s XMen, and Bartender/Pet Lab Instructor for House of Black. I regularly attend events for All Tied Up and SAN-PAH in addition to events hosted by Club X and House of Black.

Prior to stepping up to leadership in the community, I was the Event Manager for a bar in Hillcrest, which sparked my interest in running and planning events across the board, and have been running my own business for 3 years. In the 8 months since I was handed the keys to Fetish Men San Diego, we’ve hosted a few events, but not as many as I had anticipated when I first began. With new excitement, and a willingness to grow, I plan to change that over the next several weeks!

II. Events

FMSD Skills Workshop - TBA

We are working currently on finding a venue where we can host a 2-3 hour skills workshop for the members of FMSD. With the costs of rental space going up and up, and the premise of what it is that we do, it has been difficult to solidify a space! If you know of a space that can accommodate up to 12 people comfortably, please let us know by contacting Doriam at


August 10th - XMen Danger Room: Rough Body Play

In addition to working with FMSD, we’ve been working with Club X to create a Men’s Group where all men could feel comfortable: XMen! XMen hosts one event each month, alternating between Demo and Discussion -- this month, we will have @Fluffywumplekins teaching us all about the wonderful world of Rough Body Play on August 10th. Previous topics have included Sounding, Power Exchange, Electroplay, and Men’s Health. This event occurs on the Second Thursday of each month at Pleasures & Treasures from 7-9pm - as this is a Club X event, there is a $5 requested donation of non-Club X members.

mens party 11.jpg

September 2nd - FMSD Member’s Only Party

RSVP on Facebook or Fetlife
Many of you asked for it, and we’re delivering. On September 2nd, FMSD will host its first Member’s Only Party at House of Black in Mira Mesa. We are scheduled to have the venue for 4 hours from 8-Midnight for a BDSM focused play party amongst our Brothers. Ages 18+, Drugs & Alcohol are not allowed at this party, tobacco smoking & vaping are permitted on the patio. Interested in purchasing a ticket? Contact Doriam at or through Facebook! Ticket Sales end on August 31st!

This Sunday, 6 August 2017, Doriam will be at The San Diego Eagle’s BBQ from 4pm till 7pm to meet you and help you with ticket sales. See you there!

RItual Fire.jpg

September 10th - Ritual Fire: A Tribal Experience

Leading up to Ritual Steel in October, Fetish Men San Diego has partnered with Club X to produce Ritual Fire. Ritual Fire will be a night of tribal energy and camaraderie amongst our brothers and sisters in the community, where we will share stories and get to know the people who share our interests. We are looking for Volunteers to help reserve space at the venue! More information coming soon.

Fetish Men At Folsom

An informal event, but an event none-the-less! We’d like to join together with our brothers from across the globe at Folsom Street Fair on September 24th! Keep posted for more details!!

Hook Pull 2017.jpg

October 21 - Ritual Steel: An XTreme Tribal Experience

Gather in the World Beat Center on Saturday, October 21 for a one-night event, three years in the making. Live drumming, ritual piercing, hook pull, flesh suspension and much more. This may not be an FMSD Event, but let’s support our Brothers and Sisters in Club X and Edgewalkers, and enjoy this one-of-a-kind experience.

III. Volunteer Opportunity

You may have noticed that this is a lot coming up in the next few months, and we need YOUR help to do them! We are looking for volunteers to assist us in getting the word out that Fetish Men San Diego is Alive and Well and that we are looking to continue growing as a Brotherhood! If you are interested in lending your time, skills, or are curious as to what you might be able to bring to the table, contact Doriam at

IV. From ME to YOU
I wanted to end this post with something a little less formal. I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your patience leading up to this point; I understand that there have been points at which I have failed you, and I accept that there will be points where I will fail again, but it is my goal to minimize these failures. I hope that you will come with me, and with the rest of our Brothers, to create a community that honors brotherhood, camaraderie, and creates a space for Men to be Men.

In Service,
Doriam Couto


  1. Brother Doriam
    I'm so glad you are pulling this together.
    I hope at some point to be able to lend a hand.
    Question: for friends that may not be on Facebook (I know, right!) how do that get FMSD emails?

    1. Thank you, Sir Francis for the comment! Apologies for the delay -- there is a subscription at the top of our Blogspot (scroll to the top) which will allow our Brothers to add their emails and receive these blog posts when they are posted.