FMSD After Three Years: A Status Report

In just a week and a half, FetishMenSanDiego 

will be celebrating three years of unbroken successes:

• Our Tribe has grown vastly stronger, more unified, and more numerous.

• We are attracting the very best kind of men, too - Leaders with the hearts of lions, and magnificent, generous volunteers everywhere. Nobody with a desire to make a difference has to struggle, alone and unappreciated.

• Since we are based upon the Golden Rule, things don't go wrong. Factions don't split away in bitterness. Any sudden changes are handled smoothly and effectively, by many highly-responsible men, working in tandem.

• Mutual trust allows everybody to share energy, resources, networking and publicity. This allows us to have so MANY events, and to have them all succeed.

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This picture tells our story better than any other:

a joyful, cooperative and loose affiliation, based upon 

affectionate respect for each other. It works because we

share common goals, that allow everybody to thrive.

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So… What Happened, To Get Us To This Point?

I credit some radical changes in viewpoint, compared to most traditional leathermen's groups (many of which I have been actively involved with, in years gone by):

• We no longer worship the past. We've let go of it, because the present and the future are where all of the really cool, exciting and fun stuff is. The past is a boat-anchor. We've been sailing faster and faster without it. Rather than dismissing the Old Guard, the younger guys ASPIRE toward being like their loving uncles. So, the past will live on, but in the proper perspective.

• We have massive numbers of all kinds of men at our events. Our diversity truly IS our strength. We have opened the floodgates, and superb men of every kind have poured in…. We make no distinctions between men of differing age, color, body-style, gear-collection, experience-level, sluttiness, serostatus, whatever. We only care about how NICE you are.  Admirable, lovable, honorable and respectable men are the ones who attract friends, as well as support-teammembers and constituency. Seems right.

• We use all aspects of the Internet, but only as a way to gather people face-to-face. Information BLASTS continuously, behind the scenes. Texts, emails, Facebook and phone messages, and LOTS of vCards fly from place to place, so that all interested folks get the news, get introduced to folks who can support their efforts, and coordinate plans. We crowd-source leadership at all comfort-levels. We are a cooperative swarm organism.

Visiting dignitaries from other cities visit us often, keenly curious about our track-record, reputation and results. They never leave disappointed. Our events are always the right size for the venue, joyful, and loosely organized with no apparent hierarchy. Everybody pitches in, at their own comfort-and-ability-level. Information flashes through the crowd at a high rate, with useful news flowing where it needs to.

We get shit DONE, and fast.

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The Cocky Tops Project

One breakthrough that has paid-off handsomely has been my ongoing initiative to aggressively help local Tops gain confidence and experience.

Any kinky men's Tribe has to have a thriving, visible and magnificent supply of cocksure (but never arrogant) Tops.  I tend to rant about this a lot.  The payoff has been a large, constantly-growing crowd of extroverted, charismatic, joyful and effective leaders of men, to supplement our generous supply of wonderful bottom-boys and switches. We are incredibly blessed, and our Tribe is getting BETTER on a daily basis.

These new faces among us aren't just being nurtured as sexual beasts of kinky supremacy... they are also learning life-skills that just happen to make the larger community rejoice when they show up. When they travel to other cities, they find out that they are greeted with cries of gladness and special treatment.

It's no longer enough to only coax some shy stranger into running for a title, two weeks before the big day, and think that that was enough effort expended. I'd give up entirely before going back to that concept.

In San Diego, we support EVERYBODY who wants to make a difference.  This means that "running for a title" has the same personal goal-setting importance as "training for the Olympics" for our young men, but only on an individual level. Everybody who needs help, gets vigorous and generous support from a HUGE fan-club, all 365 days of the year. This tends to make numerous idealists want to stick around.

Best of all, folks are getting LAID, and dating like crazy. Folks are finding ways to cope with unexpected popularity. Couples are forming constantly.  Newly-announced Sirs are collaring eager and happy boys. Slutty Tops and bottoms are getting plenty of action.  That sounds like a thriving Tribe to me!

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Conclusion

As I always say at this time of year when the anniversary rolls around, I can't imagine where we are going, long-term.  I flatter myself into thinking that I'm a visionary, which I am, but I never predicted exactly how wonderful things would get.  I certainly can't imagine where we will be in three years.

All that I can do these days is to run in front of the crowd, waving a flag and making high-pitched, squeaky noises. The passionate energy, shared wisdom, idealism, effectiveness, brilliant new ideas and sheer thrills come from my brothers all around me. I'm honored to have so many fine people in my life, making our Tribe effective, transformational, joyful and powerful!