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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Reviews of Our First FetishMen Dance

Back around ten years ago, I started up what became known as the Rampart dance party. The first time I held it, a total of ten true friends attended, and that was all.  It took a while, but the numbers grew. After a few months, we were getting between 400 and 600 men every time, and after a couple of years, men all over the world were planning their San Diego vacations to include attending Rampart - I know, because I always speak to ALL of the new faces that show up.

After a six-year break, the stars have aligned again, and the FetishMen Dance is the new tradition for 2011 and beyond. Last night's event was held at the end of a holiday weekend, and I'm incredibly honored by the men who made a special, brotherly effort to show support and to help create a new, ongoing series of "Occasions for Communal Joy":

In the last few months, many good-hearted events have been documented here, and the community spirit is growing ever stronger. Well, that spirit hit an incredible peak at the dance - Everything that I promised came true, because every man there WANTED exactly the same thing that I did - a truly Tribal Dance that we can treasure as an ongoing tradition.

My personal payoff came when I saw the entire crowd on the dance-floor, dancing at full crank and waving their arms in the air in unison. The crowd hit peaks of pleasure together, many times. People were out of their minds with joyful exuberance.  I never saw a single couple dancing together, even once; everyone formed circles and then re-formed other circles, again and again. It was an affectionate swarm.  People only left when they finally got too tired to dance, and they all departed with huge grins on their faces.

Personally, I would have preferred having 40,000 attendees, but the QUALITY of the first event set a very high standard.  My prediction is that with the honest feedback from so many respected men, and the energetic participation of DJ Rob  and the staff at the Flame, each event will grow in satisfaction and quality.

Now, let's hear from others who attended:


I thought the whole thing was great. The music was delightful and engaging, and the men there were quite wonderful and outgoing. Everybody seemed to be having a great time. There weren't a lot of people present but that didn't deter those that were there from enjoying themselves.

Rob (the DJ) did mention that the base cabinets should have been put back for our dance. Our dance was during the early evening and therefore there should not be a noise problem. We'll need a little more promotion if we want this thing to grow fast I think. Overall, a great evening and I am looking forward to the next one.



I was impressed by the fact that there were no clicks that excluded people. I felt welcome to dance with anyone and vice versa whether or not a sexual attraction was present. All in all, good people, a nice mix of past and present dance music, with focus on just having a good time. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Mike W



What an amazing party last night!!  I wanted to personally thank you and all in attendance for their love and support.  I have been djing for 10 years now and I have never played at a party where so many guys showed their appreciation for my music and made me feel welcome and a part of the crowd.

I look forward to continuing to be a part of this wonderful community you are building!



I already wrote you a short note on recon.  So you already know I think it fracking fantastic!! I loved the music.  My only (VERY minor) complaint is that I only heard a few tracks I knew. But with all the music the Rob had to choose from, it's not really surprising.  Still, I think his music selection was spot-on!

You asked me to introduce myself to everyone.  I've been trying to live up to your expectations in that regard since the first leather-night at the Eagle.  So I already had met many of the guys last night.  But there were a few new faces, and I believe I covered the entire crowd.

My only regret (mostly because I know you put in a ton of work on this) is that the crowd wasn't even bigger.  But I've asked dozens guys I've met on recon, at Mo's/Kickers, the Centre, etc., if they were gonna be there.  The most common reply I got from guys that weren't going was that the holiday weekend made it hard.  So I'm sure the crowd would have been even bigger if not for that.  On the other hand, if there were too many people, I wouldn't have been able to comply with your request and still dance!  LOL

I can't wait for the next dance!

— Bob


Hello Tony,

Al here.  Just a few points:

-Great concept - hope that it catches on
-Great location - that would make a great leather/denim bar
-Great atmosphere  - guys were friendly, new most...met a few new faces
-Possibly change the time to a bit later - remove the word "sharp" from the time, people might have been able to make it a bit later but possibly felt that the doors would be locked at exactly 4pm. (just my thought...)
-Post the event at ALL the leather/denim bars in town - along with the email blast.  That may provide for a better show of faces

All in all I totally enjoyed myself - love to dance.... wish I had more of an opportunity to do so while in full leather.

Thanks Tony!



For being my first event, I really had a good time, meeting everyone I meet and dancing.  It was a very laid back fun just being yourself, I can't wait for more to come!



Papa Tony

I just read your message about today’s Tea Dance and I wanted to reinforce a couple of points that you made because they speak in volumes to me.  Many years ago I attended one of several Rampart dances that you hosted. I reluctantly went to see what was going on, I had no intention to stay, I was more curious than anything else. I walked into the room and was surprised by the large energetic crowd of guys and even more astonished by the incredibly warm and accepting vibration that filled the room.  As I always did, I walked in and positioned my self on a stool in a dark part of the room so that my presence would be as insignificant as possible as I sat and observed. Your comment was “protective coating of friends, just to avoid feeling lonely” reflected what I did with my protective coating that made it possible for me to be invisible.  Needless to say that I was there a short time before you spotted me sitting there and walked over and enveloped me in your warmth and friendship and got me on the dance floor, something that I was secretly longing for and waiting for. You danced two dances with me and, while dancing, you introduced me to several guys in the same floor space.  I was ready to leave after this dance session but that didn’t happen.  I walked back to my dark corner and within seconds some of the guys that you had introduced me to were in front of me talking, laughing, and including me in a good time.  Your comment that everyone is truly dancing with everyone else is more than true! I never had a single dance partner for the rest of the night I was dancing with the tribe!

After attending tonight’s event, I have several observations. First of all the eclectic energy in the room was many times more than that of Rampart even though the numbers did not come close. I am sure that will change in the up-coming events.  Second, I look forward to inviting all of the FMSD members that were not able to make it, I encourage all of you to come and sample the infectious energy that took over all of us. Proof of the united Leather-men souls was seen when all of us on the floor threw our hands in to the air while dancing because the lyrics say, “Raise your hands and dance”.  Thank you Papa Tony for setting the stage!

Keep Dancing!


Thanks Papa Tony and the rest of your cohorts for getting me out of my self-imposed, misanthropic, suburban state of mind.
Tom in Lemon Grove


Hi. I had a great time. Met some very friendly guys. Hope you plan more of these.
Thanks for putting this one together.

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