On Twitter Now...

This is new to me, so be patient:

 http://twitter.com/FetishMenSD

Excellent Local Source for Cigars

One of the nicest things about having public, face-to-face events is the possibility of something new showing up unexpectedly.  I was at the BOOT NIGHT event at the Redwing, and met a great, sexy and good-hearted man who just happens to have a business in San Diego selling cigars:

Joe "Whit" Whitaker
619-208-4895
joe@manuppcigars.com
http://www.manuppcigars.com
http://facebook.com/manuppcigars

He's passionate about cigars, and will gladly talk your arm off if you have any questions or requests on the topic. 

I spent some time with him the other day, and found him to be intelligent, warm, knowledgable and charming. He and his boyfriend live right over near me in Normal Heights*. Don't be too surprised if he steps in and takes over the role of Julie the Cruise Director at some future FetishMenSanDiego events… He's that wonderful!

As I've said before, let's all support our local businesspeople in the fetish community. Keep your money local, and we'll have great choices available for decades to come!

I'm in the process of setting up a regular, monthly CIGARS, BOOTS AND BEER event on a Sunday afternoon each month, because the last few, similar events have been so superb. It's clear to me that there is plenty of local support for it.  I'll have more details soon.

—

*I've lived in Normal Heights for years - It's a pleasant place, but kind of discriminatory… I tried to join the Normal Heights Book Club back in 1995, but they wouldn't let me, because I'm not of normal height!  :->

Puppy Party in La Mesa, Sept. 11

Note from Papa Tony: I've attended this event before… It's at Scotty and Doren's place out in La Mesa. Kinky puppy boys and Puppy Trainers are invited to join in the fun! If for no other reason, you've GOT to go, if only for the tour of what Scotty is doing with the rubber dog masks (and paws and such) that he manufactures by hand. It's glorious, and interesting as hell. The boys at the party are mighty friendly, too!

—

From: Pup DragZ

BBQ AT RUBBERDAWGS HOUSE!!!

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN PUPS... BBQ AT RUBBERDAWGS HOUSE!!! 

SATURDAY SEPT 11 2010 
NOON-? 

POOL IS OPEN SO COME READY TO GET WET!! 
BBQ AND FOOD SO EVERYONE PLEASE CONTRIBUTE.. BRING YOUR 
FAV THINGS TO BBQ AND DRINK!!!! 

IF YOU NEED DIRECTIONS AND ADDRESS LET ME KNOW 
EMAIL ME AT ... 
SDPPDRAGZ@GMAIL.COM 

LETS PARTY PUPPY STYLE!! 

DRAGZ 
SDPP

We're on Facebook Now!

Many thanks to Robert Black, who has been diligent and persistent in getting FetishMenSanDiego onto Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=129619403750866

Any suggestions?


UPDATE: On Aug 26, 2010, at 7:57 PM, Tony G wrote:

I hope you don't use Facebook exclusively.

Heavens, NO!  

I am not on it and refuse to be on it. I hope you continue to send email messages. Otherwise, myself and a few others I'm sure are going to miss out.

I prefer email, myself.  I'm only testing to see what the reaction will be.  It's new technology, so I have to hold my nose and give it a try.  The problem I'm trying to overcome is, gay males like us simply aren't reachable through the old means any more. I can sit around thinking wishfully (as so many are still doing), or I can go way outside the box and master something new.  I'll be 55 in December, and I'm stubborn enough to resist the usual closed-mindset that I naturally develop as I get older.

So far, it's working. The new media IS where everybody went. Life continues to be a growth-process.

Boot Night, Reviewed, and Bootblacks

I tend to repeat this a lot, but I'm pleasantly surprised each time we get together for an event.  In the weeks leading up to it, I am scrambling behind the scenes, coordinating efforts and ideas, making sure that all of the ducks are in a row.  On the actual day of the event, I arrive with no expectations, but I'm always surprised in very nice ways…

Last night's surprise for me was how many, many men are into boots and who seriously crave being able to show them off.  Like anybody else, I know what _I_ like, but there aren't a lot of discussions where the topic of boots come up, in daily conversation.  These guys were SERIOUS boot-freaks, and they were flying the freak flag, way up high for all to see.

This gives me great hope for future themed events.

So, last night, everybody was on the exact same contact-high.  Roars of happy laughter, hugging everywhere, and some serious male-bonding.  I did my damnedest to "mix it up" if I saw some new arrival being shy, but honestly, there wasn't a lot of that.  Everybody just kind of slid into the right groove with very little delay.  The same new guy that I'd observe at first arrival to be stoic and unsure, would be grinning and chatting within a short time.  It was just that kind of night.

An aside about boot-blacking:

Cobi did a magnificent job of assembling the team. They were busy the entire event, with folks lining up to get pampered.  I've had decades of experience with bootblacks at fetish events, and I've seen them this dedicated before, but never beaten in terms of sheer expertise. 

Spike did a job on my favorite boots that astonished me, whitening the seams, burning off the loose threads (that had been there since 1998), gluing shut a slash in the toe that had been bothering me for years, and applying exactly the right finish. The guy next to me had his humble work boots transformed into serious fetishwear after Cobi got his hands on them.

I'm being dead serious here - If you have boots (or chaps, or other leathers) that you love, bring some cash for heavy tipping, because you will seriously want to get in line and show gratitude for the finest possible care.  EVERY FetishMenSanDiego event from now on will include bootblacks. In the old days, they were an honored part of the Tribe, and they are in 2010, too.

Who ARE These People?

I'm still doing a write-up of last night's event… Short version: It was wonderful!  Total success, yet again.  You're gonna love the picture.  It's as cute as hell. There was no room for a group photo, so I thought that we'd go close-up, personal and cute.

This post is about one aspect of last night's event that some folks might have questions about:

If you were there, you may have noticed a good number of people in attendance who were clearly and identifiably NOT gay fetishmen.  They weren't there to crash the party and pee in the pool, or to cock-block the cruisers.  I spoke to everybody that I could, and I noticed a pattern. The people who weren't gay fetishmen (lesbians and straight folks), and who specifically wanted to be right there with us, had several things in common:

- They were 110% supportive and friendly

- They're all community leaders

- They all want to learn what the heck we are doing, so that they can repeat our successes with their own groups.  

At this point in history, FetishMenSanDiego is the fastest-growing, most-active and snazziest thing happening in town. 

- Our mailing-list is growing by around ten members a day, every day. NOBODY has unsubscribed so far.  In the modern Internet age, that's freakin' unusual. I predict that we'll be up to about 3,000 members within a year, just like I had with the old PT-List.

- Each of our events are highly-regarded. Word of mouth is INTENSE in town, and all over the world. I'm getting email from Russia, Brazil, Argentina, Florida, Chicago and on and on, and everybody wants to know what we're doing, because they want the same thing in their own communities.

It;s 2010, and the old rules don't apply any more.  Everybody who wants to make a difference has been feeling blue, wondering where everybody else went. Leaders hate it when they can't find a constituency, and they take it personally, when they really shouldn't. The Internet has been a huge blessing in so many ways, but it has also isolated us. Old-style clubs, with memberships, by-laws, elections and planning committees don't work any more, but everybody has been waiting for a new paradigm to arrive. The current situation has been a real drag for anybody who cares deeply about community, and I've been studying the problem for a long time. 

FMSD is a test-tube environment for using new technology in ways that actually work, with the goal of re-connecting with each other in meaningful, satisfying ways. With that in mind, I hope that the gay fetishmen that I'm focusing my efforts on can keep an open mind about our super-friendly guests.  

Just visualize them in white lab coats with clipboards!   :->

About Tonight's Event...

There are a lot of new members on the email list, so I'd like to bring everybody up to date:

We'll be gathering at the Redwing bar at 5PM today:

Redwing Bar

4012 30th Street

San Diego, CA 92104-2602

(619) 281-8700

You do NOT have to be a boot fetishist to attend. The purpose for "theme nights" is to encourage men to wear the items that they love, rather than letting those sexy items get dusty in the closet, month after month. If you don't have any of a particular night's themed items, it's no biggie…. Unless it's explicitly and clearly advertised as a STRICT DRESSCODE night, of course.

We want YOU... being friendly, being visible and being celebrated as somebody who is valuable for who you are, as you are, right now. Gay fetishmen aren't very visible in the everyday world, and the more of us together, being joyful, the better we all feel about ourselves and each other. We're consciously and continually rebuilding Tribe in San Diego, and we need all of us, together.

If you haven't read it yet, now would be a good time to review Rule Number One for all FMSD Events.  I think that you'll like it.