At any typical event, we add several dozen new members, because men are showing up after checking us out online, or they are bringing their friends. In both cases, the newbies are completely READY and prepared to dive right in and be a part of the fun. As Cruise Directors for FMSD, Miles, Jerry, Josh and I have almost no work to do to convince people that it's a safe space. Operating this group is stress-free.
This is because we have all kept our word, all along - every swinging dick in the whole group. We've all been friendly, as promised, and open-hearted, just as we should be when we are at our best. There haven't been any ego eruptions, or pissing contests (oh, wait - that sounds fun!), and everybody has been superb at every stage.
LOOKING FORWARD
You're going to see more variety of events, more new community leaders and volunteers, revolutionary new ways of reaching the public, more coordination of efforts between different segments of the community, and damn big events. There is a LOT of new, exciting stuff in the pipeline, and I'm spending a lot of time pondering where we will all want to be in the next five, ten or twenty years.
Here's why - during this whole process of building the group, I've had the over-arching goal of bringing back what our community had, before everybody started dying:
- More connection between the generations - Mentoring, and responsibility for each others' well-being. Many young men are deeply interested in FMSD, but their previous experience with leathermen has been one of being pursued and then discarded. FMSD has never been about treating anybody different on any basis at all, so we're seeing a lot more young faces in the crowds. If we are going to have a better future, we have to stand shoulder-to-shoulder so that our young brothers can stand on our shoulders. New ideas and viewpoints are valuable.
- Support for superb, admirable leaders. When we were struggling with grief and rage over so many funerals in our community, we started tearing at each other in frustration, and it was a terrible time. We don't have that going on so much any more, and we can start having visible, honorable, and well-spoken leaders representing us to the larger community again.
- Building traditions that later generations can depend upon, and build upon. We can attain ANYTHING together, so maybe we all need to begin a conversation about what we want for the future of San Diego's FetishMen community. Imagine annual events that fill up a host hotel, and overflow into five other hotels. Imagine filling up the main ballroom at the Town & Country with FetishMen from all over the world, year after year. Let's talk about it, because I don't see much difficulty in gaining any of that.
CONCLUSIONS
2011 is not 1998, or 1978, or 2007. Each of those years had issues for our Tribe that don't seem to be present any longer. We're not locked down by our past. All that I'm seeing around us is a powerful hunger for brotherhood, acceptance and communal joy. This is a world that is manifestly unwelcoming to men like us, and in order for us to do really well together, we have to have a basis for mutual trust. We've got it now, and that means that we can start making happy plans together for the future.
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