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Saturday, October 27, 2012

Thoughts About Tonight, Current Events, Hooking Up, and the Next Few Weeks


Frankly, I was pretty bummed about having the BELT Party being on the same night as SO many other, Halloween-related events.

Then, I started hearing from my FMSD brothers.  On the street, at restaurants, at the gym, all over the place.  Men have been coming up to me and making fierce, joyful declarations, telling me how they had been gathering up the gear to go to the Flame tonight. How much they were looking forward to it.  It's a smaller venue than the three previous BELT parties, and I'm predicting a line outside.  Clearly, I was wrong to worry.

The BELT Party is a once-every-three-months event, and it has turned into our own, deeply Tribal and passionate tradition. WE OWN IT. The location and the details don't matter any more. It's crowd-sourced pleasure, and the thing that causes a sudden spike in new FMSD memberships is when the new guys see the rest of us being so affectionate, close, lusty and joyful. They want IN, and right away.

We will be playing together on the periphery, while everybody else gets an eyeful, and then joins in as the mood strikes… Flogging, mummification, bondage, suspension, clothespins, paddling, man-handling and grappling. There will be men actively working as Community Representatives, making sure that shy, isolated men on the periphery get introduced around and included.

Our policy is NO LONELY GUYS, EVER. We've grown past that. No more cliques.  It's time to gather the Tribe even more, and shift into even BETTER days. I can't imagine HOW they can get better, but I'm open to the possibility:


Our recent events have been out-of-control happy.

Our most-recent Men's Discussion meeting this last Wednesday featured our largest turnout ever. We are going to have to start doing two concentric rings of seats at some future gatherings, since this "circle" of seats had to become rectangular, extending to each corner.  Best of all, it was deliriously joyful.  It was supposed to end at 9PM, but when I left at 9:45, there was still a large crowd of men who just couldn't stand to leave each other. They were close, hugging, laughing, and jabbering away with complete abandon.

I did my usual schtick, asking the new guys (on an individual basis) to listen to the sounds around them.  The sound was unmistakeable. These guys really, really like each other, and have been bonding as long-term friends.  Then, I drop the bomb:  I tell Mister Shy New Guy that we've only been doing these Men's Discussions for ten months. This shocks him, because the rest of us appear to have been old buddies for the last few decades. I tell him to keep showing up, and his self-protective armor will drop away, because he will see that we like him to be more fully self-expressed.

And the crowds keep growing. And the pleasure-level keeps rising.


I know a lot of people, and I see the patterns that show up in our events. I'm seeing a lot of couples meeting for the first time at our events, fluttering around each other like butterflies at later events, and then abruptly disappearing for a few months while they explore the possibility of bonding as lovers.

Even though I constantly insist that FMSD's primary focus isn't about hooking up, it's awfully nice to see it happening. I have the nature of a Leather Yenta - I'm always introducing friends to each other that I think would hit it off, and I'm allllll about relationships:

From left: My husband (22.5 years), my leatherboy (11.5 years), and my slave (2 years)


I will be out of town the next couple of weekends.  

Nov. 3 & 4: A group of FMSD brothers will be supporting Palm Springs' leather/fetish community for Palm Springs Pride's Fetish in the Outfield (the brand-new version of San Diego's Leather Realm at the Pride Festival) this next weekend. It will also be a joyful Family Reunion with our brother club, Desert Fetish Authority (they had originally wanted to call it FetishMenPalmSprings, but they didn't want to offend me. I would have been delighted!)

These wonderful men are what's all-new about the Leather Tribe in Palm Springs. New ideas, risky experiments, openness and community outreach. They deserve our support and long-term friendship.

Nov. 9, 10 & 11: The next weekend, a whole bunch of San Diego men are heading up for Palm Springs Leather Pride.  This is a Big Deal. Men from a LOT of cities will attend. The events are superb, the entertainment will be intense, and the Mr. Palm Springs Leather 2012 Contest will be very well-run. 

The Friday Parking Lot Party at the Tool Shed at 600 E Sunny Dunes Rd is the one event you don't want to miss. Vendors selling amazing stuff, beer for sale, and it will be JAMMED nut-to-butt with ferociously cruisy men. There is a thick fog of testosterone in the air, and it's enough to make you dizzy. Expect serious eye-contact and groping by shirtless men, and significant stares from men in full leather with cigars. Entry is free, but you might not get away with your virginity intact, or the remaining money in your bank-account after you see the amazing boots, gear and bling for sale. 

Fair warning.

Let's support our old-guard brothers in Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert (PSLOD), who work every year to bring this valuable, essential series of events together every year.  Let's show them that their brothers from the newer end of things have much to contribute, and love what they do!

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