Tuesday, February 19, 2013

In Praise of the San Diego Eagle

You can't SEE the Eagle, but it's there.

It is impossible to express admiration of the San Diego Eagle without first honoring the men who keep it the way that we love it:



- The bar-staff at the Eagle are HAPPY with their jobs, and it shows. I don't have deep knowledge of their day-to-day challenges as employees, but 1) they tend to stay, once they are part of the family, and 2) they don't complain to me. They just share what is new and interesting. In the current economy, this is really saying something. Our brothers behind the bar (and out at the front door) work together as a team, and they hold the craziness of a busy, busy night at bay. Whoever does the hiring is doing a great job, because we have always had some great guys on the team.


Boy Kevin

- Boy Kevin hosts the Red Hankies Night, and is actively working to make them better and better every time. He has big plans coming up, and the news will be coming out soon.


Preston Steel, interviewing the utterly charming Jeremy Stevens
who handed out porn DVD's and answered every question with playful enthusiasm.

- Our own Preston Steel does a masterful, charismatic and focused job of keeping STUD Nights interesting, entertaining, and casually relaxed. He doesn't put the adult-film actors on a remote, inaccessible pedestal - he shows us their fun, human and authentic side.



- Chris and Chip work VERY hard to change the Eagle's calendar to be more relevant in the modern age. Their efforts are paying off big, and their newer, modern perspective on kink and fetish are keeping the old Eagle bar from becoming static or boring.



- The present and former Mr. San Diego Eagles have been provided with an opportunity to learn more about their ability to entertain, educate and guide a crowd.  They've been forced to learn social skills that they will never need to un-learn. How often do we get such an opportunity?


Upper left: Doorman Tom, with boy kevin and Sir Nicholas

- I've known Sir Nicholas longer than the twenty years since he bought the bar and brought it back to being OUR bar. He has a big, big heart. I have never seen him say "NO!" to any request for donations, and I pay attention to such things. He and I are both rather highly-opinionated, Big Dog personalities. Rather than being enemies, we are true friends for life. We tend to lock horns sometimes, and even talk past each other, but we always work it out, like brothers do. I admire him greatly.


Russ in action

- This last Saturday's Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Contest shows that Russ can KICK ASS when he runs a team.  I grumbled and growled after last year's contest, but rather than shutting me down, he listened, and incorporated several people's suggestions into this year's effort. It was a TIGHT team, the evening was snappy and flowed well. Together, the team, plus the tallymasters, the Judge's boys, and so many of the folks in the audience (FOUR photographers!), worked together like a well-oiled machine.



We all came together to support our brothers who were stepping up to declare their intention to be more active in our community. This wasn't a "pageant". It was a powerful, shared effort that provides historical continuity. Our Tribe continues its ever-growing history.



Thanks to events like this, and many, many more, we can celebrate: We didn't all die from AIDS, we didn't lose our connection to each other despite being vaporized by a zillion Internet cruising sites, and true community matters. We still need a physical connection, face-to-face, and a way to feel that we are a part of our shared history.


VERISIMILITUDE: the appearance of being true or real: realism, believability, plausibility, authenticity, credibility.
We need a place like the Eagle. We need to feel like our history didn't all go into the landfill when so many good, kinky men died, and their families emptied out their closets and playrooms. We need to know that the traditions of mentoring between the generations can particularly include learning social skills in cruisy environments. Interpreting tricky social signals flying past you is HARD when you're only used to texting. The only way for primates to learn the Courtship Dance is in realtime, in actively social circumstances.

Like at 11:47PM, on a crowded Gear Night at the Eagle.



If you are a well-loved, respected brother in a Tribe, then useful tips are available at all times, from all generations, with no strings attached. In what OTHER gay subculture is this the tradition?  How about Trust, Honor, and Respect. Those have been our watchwords for decades. Not flawlessly, but we keep getting back to them.



When a lonely out-of-town visitor pulls into town, he has a natural, looked-for place to go. He won't find Tribal information on Recon, or Manhunt, or asspig.com.  Those online resources actively dislike local cultural information being promoted. There is no money in it, so it's bad. A local, world-renowned leather bar provides a strong possibility that cruising face-to-face will succeed. Many people don't like the trivializing, vacuous online cruising scene.  If we ever lost the Eagle, we would lose a social opportunity that would scatter our community's meeting-sites, to hard-to-find places.



We still need to continue building community - We got damaged pretty severely by AIDS. The Leathermen's Tribe was hit first, and the hardest. We're picking up the pieces fast, but there is much more work to be done.



We need grounding in a social center that holds historical significance. Imagine demolishing Hillcrest's heart and building a factory. We would all lose a precious part of our community's heart. The same applies to the Eagle. We can't afford to take it, or the people who love it, for granted. The vast majority of the planet doesn't care about such things, but for our special, strongly-loyal subculture, it means everything.



None of us is disposable. If we've learned anything from our history, is that things can change in a flash.  Tomorrow is promised to no one. Life can be random. All that we can do is to appreciate what we have, and thank the people who labor every day to make sure that we continue to have useful, worthwhile and socially-relevant choices.



Many thanks to everyone who has ever done the work, paid or unpaid, to keep our Tribal center at the Eagle alive and well. You're doing us all a world of good.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Time To End The Eagle Boycott, with Tony's Ultimatum

SHORT VERSION:

I'm calling for an end to the boycott of the San Diego Eagle bar. It's time that we all had a collective conversation. I'm willing to step right into the spinning blades of public opinion to get us all collectively OVER ourselves. This is small-minded, petty and WRONG.

Our anger does not belong to Sir Nicholas, the owner of the bar. He's a loudmouth with an opinion that we don't agree with. Fine. He's been punished enough.

Let's talk about it. My ultimatum follows at the end of this article.

LONG VERSION:

- Around 2004, San Diego had the largest population of out, proud and highly-visible deaf leathermen of any city on earth. EVERY event had a sign-language interpreter. Other cities were emulating our pioneering efforts at including our deaf brothers. It was great. Then, some conceited idiot decided that he didn't like one of the interpreters that we used to keep our brothers connected and included, so he vigorously organized a boycott of all of our events. Suddenly, all of the deaf guys VANISHED. They haven't been back. Ego wins out, community loses.

- Somewhere around 2007, some ego-bloated pinheads decided to "take down" the Hole. I never DID receive a coherent reason why this was necessary, except that somebody's oh-so-delicate dignity was offended at how they were treated. The ensuing fuss upset the owners of the bar so much, they sold it to a new guy, who immediately remodeled and got rid of the very popular, very useful stage. The stage that was hosting several charity events, at no charge to the charity-event organizers, EVERY Saturday and Sunday. As a result, local charities have had to survive without a good $250,000 in dependable income, every single year. Ego wins out, community loses. After the whole mess blew up permanently, the knuckleheads who caused the whole thing said "Ummm, never mind." BAD KARMA.

- Back in November, Nicholas (who is a Republican) made an idiotic mistake. He said some bitter, petty things on Facebook about people who voted for Obama. He got spanked very hard for it, too. He immediately changed his tune, settled down and got in line with the majority of his patrons. He has always been donating heavily to local charities. He has been a superb citizen, particularly since this all blew up. He's SORRY, based on what I've observed. By the way, I haven't told him I was going to write this. This is my own opinion.

- This last weekend, I was baffled - After the massive, triumphant Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 contest a year ago, I saw that the crowd was considerably smaller this year. This time around, we DIDN'T crowd out the drunken, rowdy assholes who were there just to jeer and interrupt our new community leaders when they tried to speak. It was very stressful for me, because I spent a good amount of time throwing hostile jerks out, and I wondered where my loving brothers were. I was reminded of the boycott when I talked to a friend, so I'm writing this now.

Sheldon Cooper

- I have nine siblings. We are all hardcore, bed-wetting liberals, except for our oldest brother. He collects assault-rifles. Lots of them. He can't help it. He has that brain-wiring that makes him get all Tea-Party-ish. I love my brother. We all do. It's exactly like finding reasons to love somebody who has some OTHER built-in difference, like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory. My brother does his best to be a loving father to his children. He is a turbo-charged dynamo at documenting our family's extensive genealogy and rich history that none of the rest of us ever knew about. We have just learned to never talk about politics, because it always ends in tears. He is our brother, and nothing can change that.

I'm ferociously, one-hundred-percent liberal. Anybody who reads my writing can figure that out pretty quickly. I am ready for the next phase, which has already begun. Our culture is done with the haters of the GOP. They are the losing team now, despite their loud cries of dismay. There are still many fights we need to win, and we WILL win.

However, targeting our token local, unintentionally offensive Republican is futile and deeply damaging. Leather bars are like snow leopards. We don't have any to spare. The pattern of our community, now that the Internet is breaking us into smaller and smaller factions, is that we if lose a local resource, IT DOESN'T GET REPLACED.

Nicholas does NOT make his living off of running the Eagle. He probably has to use it as a tax write-off for his booming catering business. He bought the Eagle from the Eurotrash couple who had turned it into a video-bar (with hanging plants!) and a massive team of volunteers changed it back. They installed mementos from other, deceased leather bars in order to HANG ON TO OUR HISTORY AND TRADITIONS.

So, now, let's talk about it.


2012 Contest. Jammed, with a long line outside. LOTS of love for our newest leaders and volunteers.


2013 contest. About 50% kind, community-oriented people. The other half were drunken, uncaring, disruptive louts who just wanted to jeer and leer at a freak show. You know who I don't see in this picture from Saturday's contest? YOU. I am finding this hard to forgive right now.

Do we want to kill-off the Eagle, just to make a spiteful, HATEFUL point? If this ends badly, I will QUIT any form of public work the MOMENT that I hear about the Eagle closing. I am not bluffing. I am a man of my word. Any community that can't see the big picture is a waste of my time. I am fucking FURIOUS, and deeply disappointed. 

I truly thought my brothers were nicer than this. I had believed in your excellent character, and this has "petty, vindictive bitch" stamped all over it. Take it out on the GOP, not our brother with a big heart and never-intentionally clumsy social skills.

I want to hear from YOU, now that I have given my opinion. I will gather comments and re-post them as a digest.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Upcoming Events: Mr. SD Eagle 2013 Weekend

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance, which contains news about ALL known upcoming events.

This is a MINIMAL version of the newsletter. For some reason, my business is kicking in HARD, so I gotta make money while it is flying past me. I'm strapped for time, so I will be brief.


The Calendar Is Going To Be Shifting Around For A While

We have gone from nearly ZERO events three years ago, to sometimes as many as nine events in a single week these days. This is a sign of a very healthy community, and… Sometimes it's just a bit much. So, there will be an ongoing discussion about prioritizing the calendar so that the events that occur are highly attractive, and easy to attend without conflicts, if possible. I welcome your suggestions.

For example: I have dropped the Beat & Greets in favor of the twice-monthly Hands-On Demos at the Eagle. No, a bar is not an optimum environment for such an event (it's noisy, for one thing), but until somebody comes up with a better suggestion, then that is where teaching and bonding as brothers will occur.

Thursday's Dinner


The big, social-event dinner in Ocean Beach (see below) is the sort of event where you will meet up with the very finest folks in town… The ones that you normally don't get to see in public very often. 

I strongly recommend attending - It's a great kick-off for the weekend's events, and it's a socially-significant celebration of one of our culture's solid bedrock traditions and high-quality resources.

Russ says: If someone you know wants to go, but is cash strapped, please let them know that it can be worked out.  I believe in the leatherman's creed in trust and honor.  We will certainly work to include everyone that wants to go.
Recent Articles:

Hands-On Demos at the Eagle - Educational, practical and FUN!



Upcoming Events:

Thursday, Feb. 14, 6PMLeather Journal 25 Year Recognition Dinner at Village Kitchen at 4853 Newport Ave, in honor of the crew at the premier West Coast leatherfolk's publication.

Friday, Feb. 15, 9PMMr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Meet and Greet, at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way. The four contestants will be selling raffle-tickets. Be generous!

Saturday, Feb. 16, 8PMMr. SD Eagle 2013 Contest at the Eagle. It's going to be zany-crazy-packed, just like last year and the year before!

Tuesday, February 19, 7PMHands-On Demos at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way.


Wednesday, Feb. 20, 7PMMen's Discussion. Get there an hour early if you really want to be a big part of what is coming up very soon.  Yes, I'm being vague on purpose.  More news as it comes through.

Feb 22-24West Coast Rubber 2013 in Palm Springs



Mr. San Diego Eagle 2011 Kane's Request
Note from Tony: Kane is running for International Mr. Leather 2013 in May, and he would like to have somebody help him wrangle his gear, arrange his schedule and be of good cheer when he needs it. I would do it, but my budget simply isn't allowing me the luxury.

Kane says: Does anyone have some suggestions for a handler for IML? I am running out of options. Mike Russell, Tom Dickerson, Anthony Rollar, Anthony Ovaldson, and Miles are all unable to do it. Thank you.

UPDATE: We have a volunteer!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Hands-On Demos at the Eagle

First and Third Tuesday of each month, 7PM onward, at the Eagle, at 3040 North Park Way.
ALL experience-levels are welcome. In fact, these events are always affectionately biased toward helping beginners learn and grow. Really. Come check us out, and see for yourself!

The purpose of these twice-monthly events is to practice various kinky, non-sexual play-techniques with a trusted group of brothers who like each other, and support each other in growth and happiness.


There are some things you simply can't learn from the Internet. That guy on the YouTube video can be very informative, but he can't be there with you to say:
- "If you keep doing it that way, you're going to hurt your wrist - Let me show you a different way that is less stressful."
- "For the length of your forearm, THIS length of flogger will work better."
- "Actually, you might want to avoid hitting that area... The skin is thin, and you might hit bone. Let me show you what I like to do in that same circumstance."
Human beings are basically Pack Apes - We learn best by observation and practice in group situations. Learning from a book, or a Wikipedia page just isn't the same.

Worst of all, we do NOT want to learn from porn. Porn's intent is to titillate, and definitely NOT to teach. Teaching doesn't get the audience off. So, you never get to see the preparation, the aftercare, the flow of actual, useful and deeply intimate information passing in a Power Flow between the players. That CAN'T show up on even the highest-definition camera hardware. Porn just shows, basically, THUD-OW-YIKES. Not much useful to imitate there.

Human beings are currently drowning in Internet information, but what we need is WISDOM, from somebody who gives a damn about our success and happiness.


So, we meet together, locally, in brotherhood. There is always somebody on duty to make sure that things are safe, welcoming and on the right track, so that newbies can relax and try something that they have always fantasized about, and experienced players can work on advanced techniques with actual human beings, rather than, say, practicing rope-bondage on chair-legs.


Clearly, a bar is not the optimum environment. It's noisy, for one thing, and there is a separate collection of men on the other side of the bar, with a different agenda that doesn't want to mix with our group. However, until somebody comes up with a better suggestion, then this is where we will be practicing.


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Upcoming Events

As always, check the FMSD monthly calendar-at-a-glance, which contains news about ALL known upcoming events.

Recent Articles:

Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Contest Weekend - ALL details, including contestants, judges, events and locations. After Friday's Meet and Greet, it's a raunchy STUD night party at the Eagle!

Calling for a Ten-Year Time-Out on Olde Guarde - And I mean it, too.


Review of Titleholder Appreciation Social, February 2, 2013. Love, approval, continuity.



Review of Inter-City Gear Night, Feb. 2, 2013
Saturday's big Gear Night at the Eagle.
This is about a quarter of the guys who showed up during the course of the evening. 
How do I know? I asked for the door-count, afterward.

Upcoming Events

Friday, February 8, 10pm: HARNESS Party. No, you don't have to OWN a harness. Just be friendly and super-sociable with some superb new friends. I write about it here.

Saturday, February 9, 9pm: Uniform Night at the Eagle.



Wednesday, Feb. 13, 7-9PM, Men's Discussions - This one is hosted by Jeremy, since I will be enjoying our annual one-day-early Valentine's dinner with my sweetie!

Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Contest Weekend (details here)





Thursday, February 14, 6-10PM: Leather Journal 25th Anniversary Dinner, at Village Kitchen at 4853 Newport Ave.

• Friday, February 15th, 9PM: Contestant Meet and Greet at the Eagleat 3040 North Park Way. This will be followed shortly at 10:30PM by STUD NIGHT featuring Jeremy Stevens.

• Saturday, February 16th, 10AM: Judge/Contestant Interviews at the Wednesday Club at 540 Ivy Lane in Hillcrest.

• Saturday, February 16th, 8PM: Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013 Contest at the Eagleat 3040 North Park Way.

Review of Inter-City Gear Night, Feb. 2, 2013

In the last 2-1/2 years, we have grown from a city that NEVER had actual "Gear Nights" to one that has them several times a month - Regularly-scheduled and impromptu. Best of all, these gatherings are affectionate, unified and fun-fun-fun.

On this occasion, we got to show our California B&B Corps brothers from San Francisco, Los Angeles and Palm Springs how we like to do things in San Diego.

I wrote about this event beforehand in my usual overly-dramatic way, but what I promised came true (except for the line outside - a conflicting event drew away a good amount of guys), thanks to our many, many brothers who wanted to show our guests how we are, when we are together.


I will update this article later on, when the photo slide-show is posted. My camera went dead at the very beginning.

Review of Titleholder Appreciation Social, February 2, 2013

In my usual, highly-enthusiastic way, I sold the hell out of the two events planned for Saturday, February 2, 2013.

I'm glad to say that I was right. 

Both events were strongly Tribal, heartfelt, FUN, and added to our local history in a way that meant something wonderful and long-lasting.

Cigars & Boots at Numbers

The purpose of this event was to show support for the men who will be running for the title of Mr. San Diego Eagle 2013, two weeks after this event. 

Contestants and well-wishers:
W = Daniel Woodward
M = Derek Morado
P = Jay Palmer
(Rob Rodriguez had not yet announced 
his intentions to run at this time)


We also celebrated the outgoing titleholder Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli, for his many, many accomplishments:

Eli's list of title year events:

Tattoo contest 22 march
Underwear contest 24 march monthy event
Auction baskets for Kurt and I
Supported LA fetish weekend
Pup play night
Stud party with Michael Brandon/got flogged
Bus trip to long beach 15 April
Jock Auction raised $415 and underwear contest as well 23 June
Belt party hosted/ did demos 30 June
San Diego pride helped set up and walked in leather 7pm
Palm Springs pride walked with leather group and did demo for leather realm
Nicky awards voting party @eagle
Co-hosted LA Eagle hot summer nights event raising $1400
LL Bear belt preview
Hosted stud night
Hosted bus trip to LA
Leather and lace
Supported LA Eagle contest
Titleholder bootcamp
Southwest leather conference with Aaron and Wish
B&B corp gathering
Judging leather cub Phoenix in April
Table captain at CLAW/ volunteer


As the was reading this list, he was interrupted periodically, and more of his good deeds were pointed out as well. Here is a video-clip of his speech.



Then, we took the time to honor our brother Mike Pereyra, who represented San Diego when he won International Mr. Leather 1988, 25 years ago. Here is a video clip from his speech. Mike was there to provide historical continuity for our brothers who seek to be community-leaders.

From left:
Mr. San Diego Leather 2012 Aaron Duke
Ms. San Diego Leather 2012 Wish Linda
International Mr. Leather 1988 Mike Pereyra 
Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 Eli

There was a very nice, sizable swarm of people who flowed into and out of the event during three hours. All wishing our brothers well, and all knowing our shared Tribal history is secure.