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Monday, February 18, 2013

Time To End The Eagle Boycott, with Tony's Ultimatum


I'm calling for an end to the boycott of the San Diego Eagle bar. It's time that we all had a collective conversation. I'm willing to step right into the spinning blades of public opinion to get us all collectively OVER ourselves. This is small-minded, petty and WRONG.

Our anger does not belong to Sir Nicholas, the owner of the bar. He's a loudmouth with an opinion that we don't agree with. Fine. He's been punished enough.

Let's talk about it. My ultimatum follows at the end of this article.


- Around 2004, San Diego had the largest population of out, proud and highly-visible deaf leathermen of any city on earth. EVERY event had a sign-language interpreter. Other cities were emulating our pioneering efforts at including our deaf brothers. It was great. Then, some conceited idiot decided that he didn't like one of the interpreters that we used to keep our brothers connected and included, so he vigorously organized a boycott of all of our events. Suddenly, all of the deaf guys VANISHED. They haven't been back. Ego wins out, community loses.

- Somewhere around 2007, some ego-bloated pinheads decided to "take down" the Hole. I never DID receive a coherent reason why this was necessary, except that somebody's oh-so-delicate dignity was offended at how they were treated. The ensuing fuss upset the owners of the bar so much, they sold it to a new guy, who immediately remodeled and got rid of the very popular, very useful stage. The stage that was hosting several charity events, at no charge to the charity-event organizers, EVERY Saturday and Sunday. As a result, local charities have had to survive without a good $250,000 in dependable income, every single year. Ego wins out, community loses. After the whole mess blew up permanently, the knuckleheads who caused the whole thing said "Ummm, never mind." BAD KARMA.

- Back in November, Nicholas (who is a Republican) made an idiotic mistake. He said some bitter, petty things on Facebook about people who voted for Obama. He got spanked very hard for it, too. He immediately changed his tune, settled down and got in line with the majority of his patrons. He has always been donating heavily to local charities. He has been a superb citizen, particularly since this all blew up. He's SORRY, based on what I've observed. By the way, I haven't told him I was going to write this. This is my own opinion.

- This last weekend, I was baffled - After the massive, triumphant Mr. San Diego Eagle 2012 contest a year ago, I saw that the crowd was considerably smaller this year. This time around, we DIDN'T crowd out the drunken, rowdy assholes who were there just to jeer and interrupt our new community leaders when they tried to speak. It was very stressful for me, because I spent a good amount of time throwing hostile jerks out, and I wondered where my loving brothers were. I was reminded of the boycott when I talked to a friend, so I'm writing this now.

Sheldon Cooper

- I have nine siblings. We are all hardcore, bed-wetting liberals, except for our oldest brother. He collects assault-rifles. Lots of them. He can't help it. He has that brain-wiring that makes him get all Tea-Party-ish. I love my brother. We all do. It's exactly like finding reasons to love somebody who has some OTHER built-in difference, like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory. My brother does his best to be a loving father to his children. He is a turbo-charged dynamo at documenting our family's extensive genealogy and rich history that none of the rest of us ever knew about. We have just learned to never talk about politics, because it always ends in tears. He is our brother, and nothing can change that.

I'm ferociously, one-hundred-percent liberal. Anybody who reads my writing can figure that out pretty quickly. I am ready for the next phase, which has already begun. Our culture is done with the haters of the GOP. They are the losing team now, despite their loud cries of dismay. There are still many fights we need to win, and we WILL win.

However, targeting our token local, unintentionally offensive Republican is futile and deeply damaging. Leather bars are like snow leopards. We don't have any to spare. The pattern of our community, now that the Internet is breaking us into smaller and smaller factions, is that we if lose a local resource, IT DOESN'T GET REPLACED.

Nicholas does NOT make his living off of running the Eagle. He probably has to use it as a tax write-off for his booming catering business. He bought the Eagle from the Eurotrash couple who had turned it into a video-bar (with hanging plants!) and a massive team of volunteers changed it back. They installed mementos from other, deceased leather bars in order to HANG ON TO OUR HISTORY AND TRADITIONS.

So, now, let's talk about it.

2012 Contest. Jammed, with a long line outside. LOTS of love for our newest leaders and volunteers.

2013 contest. About 50% kind, community-oriented people. The other half were drunken, uncaring, disruptive louts who just wanted to jeer and leer at a freak show. You know who I don't see in this picture from Saturday's contest? YOU. I am finding this hard to forgive right now.

Do we want to kill-off the Eagle, just to make a spiteful, HATEFUL point? If this ends badly, I will QUIT any form of public work the MOMENT that I hear about the Eagle closing. I am not bluffing. I am a man of my word. Any community that can't see the big picture is a waste of my time. I am fucking FURIOUS, and deeply disappointed. 

I truly thought my brothers were nicer than this. I had believed in your excellent character, and this has "petty, vindictive bitch" stamped all over it. Take it out on the GOP, not our brother with a big heart and never-intentionally clumsy social skills.

I want to hear from YOU, now that I have given my opinion. I will gather comments and re-post them as a digest.


  1. Tony & all,

    Part of the reason I pulled myself away from the gay community was exactly this sort of hypocrisy. Too many in the gay community like to go on and on about how tolerant and accepting they are - but only, it turns out, so long as you agree with them and have the same world views.

    Even within the leather community this same sort of dogmatic intolerance of actual individuality is too widespread.

    Heaven forbid you be the same sort individual who "marches to the beat of a different drummer" that so many leathermen _claim_ to emulate.


    1. You can always stand by me, brother. I won't do that. The things that separate us are not as important as the things that we share.

  2. Papa Tony, I sure do think you have some valid points. As I'm new(er) to the community I don't know all of the 'B.S.' drama (and don't want to) but I certainly do agree that as a community we should be more tolerant and supportive of each other. With that said I don't go out that much but I have been to the Eagle more than any other bar and I love it there. As to marching to a "different beat", we all should embrace that as if we didn't we'd all be marching to Justin Beebier (Eeeeew!). Peace, love and leather dreams.