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Thursday, May 16, 2013

"How to Be An Excellent Sir, and an Effective Top" Weekly Lecture Series

Recorded Audio of Talks So Far:

Part One: Intro: Virtues & Values vs. Being a Bad Top, Being a Man of the Community, The Four Phases of Training a Boy… Here is the chart that was made about Good Top/Bad Top adjectives.

Part Two: Non-Verbal And Verbal Communication, How To Have Sex With A Colt Model, Giving Permission, How To Have A Successful Three-Way Every Time, and much more. Here is the article about Life Magazine that I mentioned.

Part Three: San Diego's Supportive Culture/It Take a Village to Raise a Top, How to Deal With Unwelcome Attention Without Being a Jerk, Learning Social Graces, Extreme Intimacy… Here is the link for High Levels of Mental Health Among Kinky Folks.


Photo by JayPG, may he rest in peace!

From: Papa Tony

Starting Wednesday, May 22, 2013, I will be teaching an ongoing series of lessons on the practical, philosophical and achievement-oriented aspects of becoming a respected, successful, wise and effective Top, Sir, Dominant, Daddy or Master for the rest of your life.

This course is recommended for Tops, bottoms and versatiles. It takes a village to develop higher-quality Tops to thrill a community, folks.

This weekly series will continue until the topic is exhausted, but it may take many months. I will be inviting fellow experienced Tops to come in and give their viewpoints as time goes by.

Cost: You have to pass along whatever you learn, without hesitation, when you have the chance to do so.

Every Wednesday, 7-9PM (and later if the need arises).

The first portion of each session will consist of the lecture, followed by questions, answers and general discussion. These sessions will be audio recorded for the most part, and links to the audio will be posted  on the top of the same page you are reading right now, so you might want to bookmark it. Some sessions will be partially video-recorded, so that the more visual lessons can be shared as well.

So, when is the big series on BOTTOMS going to show up?

Not sure - Here are my thoughts, coming from a highly-biased, long-time Top:

There aren't enough Tops to go around.  Particularly skilled ones.  Several obvious reasons spring to mind:

- A lot of us died. The wisest, heaviest players were the hardest hit, and died first. Huge amounts of wisdom went away with them. There are things I will be talking about in this series that NOBODY talks about any more - How to train a bottom to have multiple orgasms, or cum on command, or to have anal orgasms, as just a few examples off of the top of my head.

- The few guys who did survive tend to be permanently damaged, and won't come back and share what they know.  The supply of role-models is vanishingly small.  They have given all that they can during the bad years, and they are simply waiting out the clock in their suburban bomb-shelters. We can't wait for them any longer.

- Easily-accessible porn is fucking up our perspective, and making us fail. If you try what you see in a porn video, you're missing massive amounts of behind-the-scenes preparation, foreplay, seduction (gaining the bottom's trust), giggle-fests in the middle of play, cuddles and snoozes, limp dicks being injected with boner-enhancer, increasingly larger dildos being practiced with off-camera for hours beforehand, in order to prepare for the monster stunt cock, and a zillion other things.  All that you get is the fantasy, and it's NOT ENOUGH TO SUCCEED.  Porn is a shitty role-model.

Back in the days before the Internet, (I wish I had a reference to share with you), some guy did a statistical, scientific study. He found that a bottom/sub/boy/slave who wanted to be collared by a wise, experienced and respected Top had a FOUR PERCENT CHANCE of doing so.  I don't know that researcher's methodology, but I can't argue with his conclusion.

I am not willing to stand for it. I want to increase those odds any way that I can.  If we have cocky, happy, serenely competent Tops increasing in numbers everywhere in our Tribe, then there will be increasing numbers of thrilled and satisfied bottoms. Win-win-win-win-win-WIN.

So, what the hell gives me the right to teach such a topic?

Folks, I am NOT Mister Perfection.  There are men out there, somewhere, who undoubtedly know a lot more than I do on a particular topic. Urethral Sounds, for one example. I'm hopelessly ignorant and need to learn more about them.

However, I am glad to share what I know, and so far, those other guys haven't bothered to show up. I never stop wishing that they would.

I am a rare case.  I got into the heavy-player kink scene starting in 1977, and I'm NOT DEAD, like the majority of men that I played with so long ago.  I'm still around.

I grew up in a household and Catholic school environment that left me with pretty close to zero practical life skills by the age of eighteen, and I keenly felt the lack. So, as soon as I could, I found the kinky gay leathermen's crowd, and dove in head-first. Those fine, fun and debauched older men took me under their wing and gladly taught the tall, eager young Top some wonderful techniques, philosophies and viewpoints that have stood me in good stead for my entire adult life.

And, then they died.

So, it has been my karmic DUTY to teach others what I have learned. In the decades since I started out as a gay leatherman, I have never wasted a single opportunity to learn-learn-learn, every time that I have ever played with a man, and there have been a LOT of men that I have played with.  Multiple thousands.  No kidding, and not the slightest exaggeration.

My goal was to gain practical wisdom.

If you know me at all, you know that, if anything, I OVER-SHARE in my eagerness to help out my brothers.  Folks don't seem to mind too much, because I like to dispense coping-mechanisms and success-techniques for a sub-subculture that doesn't have many folks looking out for our specific needs.

These talks won't be perfect. I tend to ramble, wander, repeat myself, use too many words when a few words would have been better, and use illustrative stories to make a point, when a simple answer would be quicker. However, folks seem to like my extremely charismatic style just fine, for the most part.

I'm never, ever BORING, that's for sure!

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