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Thursday, March 7, 2013

Rare, Yet Numerous… SWEETIE PRIDE!!!

Here is what happened at last night's Men's Discussion, with the theme of "Please Understand Me":

I brought several computers and handheld devices to the meeting. On each one, I went to, and on the upper left, clicked on the "Jung Typology Test" under "Take a Test".  This brought me to an easy, brief test of 72 "either-or" questions, which ascertains which one of the sixteen specific personality types you may be classified under.

Using iPhones, iPad, and several laptops, everybody was administered the test.  Then, they were given printed sheets that represented the first page of the twenty-or-so pages of information about their individual personality-type, that I quickly emailed to every man present. Then, they broke up into smaller circles of discussion with men who shared THEIR personality-type. My goodness, what a happy racket!

If you are doing this at home:

Once you find out what your four-digit code is, IMMEDIATELY Google that code and read everything you can find. If the part you're reading looks like baffling psycho-babble, skip it - Go for the paragraphs that relate to you. The test truly DOES do a highly-accurate job of clarifying your nature. It's like looking into a clear mirror for the first time in your life.

Then, send a copy of what you find to your loved ones and ask them for their opinion. You'll quite definitely get an overwhelming chorus of "Yes, that's YOU!"

This can change your life. It certainly changed mine.

I first took this test sixteen years ago, and that is when I transitioned from being "just some peculiar guy" to being "Papa Tony". I discovered that the personal quirks that made me weird and unable to fit in as a young man, are actually my super-powers as I have matured. As a rare ENFP type, I am NOT like most people, and that's okay.  As the last sixteen years have progressed, I've grown more and more comfortable inside my own skin. I'm really GOOD at being me.

So, I want my brothers to be every bit as self-assured in their true natures. There is no down-side, ever.

It may have startled others in the room when I announced it at the meeting, but NINE of the sixteen personality-types were nowhere to be found in the room of about 25 men… and yes, it was a small sample.  But a highly representative one, in my expert opinion.  I believe, based on my intimate knowledge of FMSD's dynamics, that many folks simply don't have the driving emotional need for deep intimacy and trust that sustains each of our events.

The ones who DO, tend to show up.  A lot.

The personality-types that showed up at last night's meeting are RARE.  Like, as in, less than five percent of the adult male population. Combined. This may surprise you, but not me.

As one startling example: According to what I'm finding on the Web, INFJ's (male and female) take up around one percent of the population - Male INFJ's take up less than half that. And there were FIVE of them at the meeting last night!

I call FMSD a "Nature Preserve for Sweeties".  For men with the kind of emotional wiring that craves interpersonal connection the MOST, FMSD represents a series of Guaranteed Safe Spaces.  You can show up, be as sweet as you want, and you can ALWAYS trust the result.

The best news?  We may be rare in terms of the larger population, but we are NUMEROUS at FMSD events because the word has gotten out.

That's why our brotherhood is growing so FAST. The rare, sensitive and fraternally-oriented gay fetishmen of our community are showing up and STAYING. So, the numbers rise, and they bring their sweetie-pie friends and loved ones.

People who are hard-wired for lower-volume emotional connections simply can't understand all of that hugging, smooching, cuddling, closeness and deeply-felt interrelating.  They aren't wrong, or broken, or bad - They simply don't see the point. They are happy the way that they are. They will show up if they feel that they might get laid, or if there is cheap beer, but hold the hugs with strangers. PLEASE.

That's okay.

For those of us who DO desire interconnectedness on a primal, Tribal level, it's like vitamins for our souls. We STARVE for it, if we are not getting it. Deprivation literally harms us, and shortens our lives. FMSD was formed to fill the need for closeness, kindness, trust, and hugs.


The reason why the INFJ/ENFP/whatever topic is so important right now is because each week's discussion has been intentionally driving toward better understanding of ourselves, and others that we may want to invest in as lifelong friends.

Bottom line of last night's discussion:

If you can't help being the way that you are, be GOOD at it!

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